Grocery rudeness, iin?

For the past few years, I've been having a neurological issue that causes me to have a hard time telling if I'm buying too much groceries, buying foodstuff that I already have or any other grocery related things. Its something that I can't help and something that I only just recently realized was a problem.

Since, May or June of 2011 I have been shopping at a organic grocery store. In the early days of my shopping there, things were fine and if they weren't I just didn't notice them. I was frightened of the types of people that shopped/worked there but eventually I got used to them. It was only recently on a few occasions that I noticed the workers were being rude to me, but I tried to shrug my unease off. The problem with them has been starting after and during check out. My store has the curious policy of NOT letting customers take their groceries to their car unescorted and they often insist that customers not take their shopping carts out of the store. They insist on manually carrying your groceries as they follow you to your car. Once, at your car they start putting your things into the car and when they are done, they say their "goodbyes" and head back to the store. Seems like it would be simple but it is not.

When, I put up things on the conveyor belts their "little comments" begin. I feel like I'm constantly being scrutinized be these people. To make matters worse, if I go ever the slightest bit over budget the relative I go shopping with will "mildly" start to verbally abuse me in front of these people. After the groceries have been bagged up the person assigned to carry them will start to complain about how they can't carry all of them, which makes sense but it would make even more sense if they at least allowed me to carry my things. They call someone else over who also says that there's no way they can carry all of the bags. So, the cashier talks on the speaker and demands the other workers come for assistance. Sometimes, a lot of people will show up while there will only be a few some other time. When they get the bags they will still gripe about the amount of bags. Then we make the torturous journey to the car.

Last week, was probably the worst they have acted. As we went to the car one of the workers, a new woman with a seemingly southern accent, asked us if we did a lot of juicing. The more I think about it, the more I feel that she didn't mean the question as a form of malignity but instead was attempting to break the ice. I said, "No" but I must have said it too softly because she asked the question again. My relative answered this time but the ice had not been broken. The next comment I remember hearing was from a woman with curly hair whom I do not like, for some reason, I have always gotten the feeling that she dislikes me. She said very sharply and almost mockingly,"Where are we going to fit all this?", "I hope there's enough room in your car to fit all this." Some of the other workers chuckled. She received a calm answer that told her there was.

I don't think I can take their behaviour anymore. I have agoraphobia, paranoia, and other health issues, all of which causes me enough problems as is. They make me feel so bad about things that I can't help. I never intended to inconvenience them in any way. Why can't they just do their job and leave me alone? I go into that store and wonder whether or not they say things behind my back. The people that were kind to me in that store either seem to not be working there anymore or too ill to come. I'm almost afraid to ask for any help when I'm there because I've been ignored so many times. Once, a cashier put me at unease because she seemed preoccupied with the time I usually came and because I didn't come at that time she proceeded to try to dig herself into my personal affairs.

Is any of this normal?!

Voting Results
11% Normal
Based on 35 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • ProseAthlete

    None of what you're describing is normal, I'm afraid. Do you have another shop you could go to if you feel uncomfortable at this one?

    You know yourself best, but is it possible that your agoraphobia and anxiety are causing you to view neutral statements in a negative light? None of the statements you describe sounded off-putting to me, but if you're already feeling anxiety because of being away from your usual surroundings, you might hear mockery when there is none intended.

    You mention going there with a relative. Could you talk to that person and get a different outlook, a new perspective on how people behave there? Could this person give you an unbiased look? If so, have a talk with the person who went with you and find out how he or she thought the workers behaved. If they were truly awful, you might want to take your complaints to a manager.

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    • Avant-Garde

      There are locations for this specific type of store but they are too far away. Heck! The one I'm going is pretty far as it gets, it take about 2-3 hours to get there! There is a whole foods somewhat near where I live but it sadly doesn't have enough of the products I need.

      It is possible that I've been getting the wrong end of stick but apparently I'm not the only one whose experienced rudeness at that location. I went on, I think, Yelp and a few other have complained but their complaints were nothing compared to what I've had to deal with. It has been slightly better recently, I've been buying less. I do have wonder what it was that caused the rudeness. I may have come off as being rude a few times but it was unintentional. There was a incident where I accidentally got fresh and expensive coffee beans on the floor and that curly haired woman was right next to me. I had a delayed reaction, so to speak, I didn't realize what I was doing until my relative pointed it out to me.I corrected myself but I remember seeing the look on that woman's face though at the time I strangely didn't think much of it. It was horrible. It was a look of pure fury and contorted hatred. I worry that there could be rumors about me or maybe its just her but when I have to interact with the woman she acts like I'm an undesirable or someone whose not playing with a full deck. Another possibility, is that I've noticed that on the occasions I buy meat, if I get in the line of a certain cashier she'll contort her face as if I was buying something illegal. Due to how the store is set up I feel that they have a problem with people who eat meat and dairy products. These areas are exceptional small as opposed to the vegetarian/vegan areas which are HUGE.

      I have a feeling that asking my relative is futile. I faintly remember in the past, around the time the rudeness first started, that it was MY FAULT that they were saying/asking such things because I buying so much. I still don't think that the amount I buy would give them any right to behave like this.

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  • I don't think its normal that they don't let you take your own groceries to your car. Ive never heard of anywhere doing that.
    However nothing you mentioned seemed rude either. It seemed to me like you might be oversensitive and perceiving them as rude when they are not.

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    • Avant-Garde

      That is a possibility.

      I'm still very iffy about the policy on carrying groceries. I'm not trying to point any fingers but I've noticed that they don't do this with everyone else... At times, I can't help but wonder if they are doing this due to race. However, I have seen them do this to a few other customers. I don't think that its over health because they don't do this with a lot of their elderly or customers that appear to have disabilities. I have also considered the possibility that they are scared that people will steal their carts but since I've been shopping there for nearly a year, it would seem to me that they would at least be able to trust me by now. It's nice to have the help but its sometimes very frustrating.

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  • Johnnytherat

    damn women talk alot.. either that or i have attention span of a squirrel on meth i got like down to the 1st paragraph & saw what was ahead w/e heres my advice.. shoplift it saves money

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    • Avant-Garde

      It may save money but it causes more problems than help.

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  • God,what a world you live in.

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