Had a disturbing intrusive thought about a friend

2 Comments

Had a brief disturbing sexual intrusive thought about a teenage acquaintance the other day. it disgusted me and worried me, so I re-thought the thought in my head once or twice for about a second just to "confirm" that I was not sexually attracted to it or to her. (I was not; it caused no arousal). then I moved on, and have not had the thought since.

I still feel like I've done something wrong and violating to her for having done that "testing" to begin with and deliberately re-invoked the thought about her, even though it amounted to nothing of consequence in the end. I have a therapist's appointment coming up, but it's not for another two weeks, so I'm broadcasting this around to try to get a bead on whether or not I _should_ be feeling the way I do, or if I'm getting caught up on nothing and should just move on.

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Comments ( 2 )
  • radar
    3 years ago

    We all have nasty shit in our minds. Or at least I think so because I do. You're not your thoughts, you're your behavior. The whole thing about intrusive thoughts is that they actually tend to be about the kinds of things that most bother you, and you'd be least likely to act on. I'd say the fact you're so concerned with it means the opposite of what you're afraid of.

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    Questions deserving answers
    Answers deserving action
    What am I of the populi
    I am but a fraction
    Is there heaven? Is there Hell?
    Is that tuna melt I smell?

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