Help me understand my friend

33% Normal
3 Comments

I have a friend who's younger than me he's 17 and i'm 22 .. I see him as a brother and he has a girlfriend and he loves her so much but they fight all the time and i try to help them get together each time .. But lately this friend started acting weird like he asks me Questions like imagine us married .. Imagine we go on a date .. Shall i come meet ur family and bring u a ring .. And then he says haha i'm kidding .. I dunno what he's trying to prove what's his point telling jokes like that i'm confused i think he's just mad cuz when we met and we talked .. i said i ll never love a younger guy .. So maybe he's that kind of ppl who doesn't rest until he's sure all girls in the world love him so he's trying to make me love him or maybe not .. I dunno really

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33% Normal
Based on 9 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Grunewald
    6 years ago

    It's often when relationships are full of long-term conflict that people are tempted cheat. At least, that's whay I heard a relationship expert say in a TED talk once. And your friend is in a relationship full of conflict - I know not for how long but if you're counselling him over it then it's hardly a flash in the pan. That friend of yours has made no move on you but sadly, the fact he's asking questions like that suggests he's already cheating in his heart. Distance yourself. Cross-gender relationship counselling, among 2 already-close persons, and without accountability, spells trouble. One-to-one emotional intimacy between two people of the opposite gender, in a private setting, can so easily evolve into feelings you don't want - it happens time and time again. It's how I ended up with my ex boyfriend: I had been confiding in him about another (single) guy I liked but who was giving me confusing signals. I had regarded my guy friend as a brother too, at first.

    It doesn't matter if you'd never say yes to your friend's suggestions, or if you resisted him every step of the way, and then some. On the level of his own private thougts, feelings and motivations, it would just not help strengthen his resolve to return to a healthy relationship with his girlfriend if he had even a secret shred of a hope in his own mind of having you. Hope is very hard to kill - the slightest warmth of any kind can revive it after any number of 'no's. And then even if that weren't the case, say his girlfriend found out he was confiding in you, or someone else did and told her... it would look like the start of an affair to her, and even if it wasn't, you would never be able to convince her. If she knows he talks to you already and doesn't mind... say she witnesses the degree of confidence between you and him for herself and, seeing it irl, changes her mind? I'd say, step back, just to avoid becoming part of the problem. It's so risky. Let him seek a guy counsellor instead.

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    • PhsycoMe
      6 years ago

      I understand the situation now ... First I don't know his gf he screenshots their conv nd i tell him what to do. ..anyway .. I told him that he's not in the friendzone just to know what he thinks .. He said that his gf isn't really important anymore she made him suffer all his life ..he's just 17 tho lol .. And he wanna get in a relationship with me nd he was quiet cuz he thought he's in the friend-zone but hell no i'm not gonna date my son i was helping him cuz i thought there couldn't be any kind of attraction between us since i'm older than him ..

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  • Annie25
    6 years ago

    Maybe he's just joking. Once in a while its ok but this does not seem right

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