How can i make my point without being offensive

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23 Comments

I hate talking about religion, especially around my area, the reason why I hate it is that I'm an atheist in a heavily Christian area, as soon as someone asks me if I'm Christian and I tell them I'm an atheist its always followed by me having to explain why I'm an atheist, or at least try agnosticism, but in order to explain why it means I would have to poke holes in their belief which is something I don't want to do, my honest reply would be that the idea of religion is so far fetched, magical and outdated to me that I can't even entertain the notion of it being a reality but of course I can't say that so recently I've just been saying that I'm not sure if I believe or not to avoid it
That means I'm denying my own beliefs and as soon as I say that people see it as a green light to nudge me over to the side of Christianity, has anyone found a way of conveying exactly why they are an atheist without putting down the beliefs of the other person?

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Based on 12 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • JD777
    8 years ago

    I don't think it's going to be a fruitful conversation any way you approach it because someone who challenges you on it is very unlikely to accept any of your arguments. When asked, maybe you could respond with something like, "No, I'm not Christian. I have my reasons why, as I'm sure you have your reasons why you're Christian. But, I don't feel a need to explain myself to anyone or try to get you to adopt my beliefs."

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    • ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
      8 years ago

      To me, the distinction of whether or not the conversation will be fruitful lies in the age of the opposition, how long the opposition has been a believer and whether or not there is an audience.

      The value of an audience is immense. Without one the discussion is pointless. You will never change the mind of the individual you debating with. Not primarily because they think they're are right, but because they need to save face. It is too painful to admit you are wrong in front of the person you are debating, so you maintain composure. Also, the opposition is most likely not really listening to you. They are just thinking of their next rebuttal. That being said, if there is even one person just listening, that person is more likely to hear both sides and they don't have the burden of saving face.

      If the person approaching me is a lone individual, older than 40 and there handing out pamphlets, there is no way that discussion is going anywhere. Thus, I will avoid it at all cost.

      If the person approaching me is Mormon Elder and they have brought with them young proslytizers in training, I will have that discussion. If you appear confident and know what you are talking about whilst making the Elder seem uncertain about his philosophical footing, the young ones will catch on.

      Debating 101. Convince the audience, not the debator.

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      • JD777
        8 years ago

        Yeah, I get that, but the OP didn't say they wanted to convince the anyone of anything or debate with them, and even simply explaining his own view seemed not to work. So, my suggested approach was just to defuse the conversations he/she dislikes and move on.

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        • Asstastics
          8 years ago

          Why not say that you neither confirm nor deny any association to religion or religious ideas?

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  • snarkygirl
    8 years ago

    Just tell people you should agree to disagree :)

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  • ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
    8 years ago

    As an American in America, I, too, am an Atheist in a heavily religious environment.

    What I would do:

    If asked about my faith I would respond with, "I don't believe in any gods."

    If ask to explain, "honestly, I'd rather not get in to this. People tend to get offended, which is never my intention."

    If they insist, bring out the heavy weaponry.

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  • Shrunk
    8 years ago

    I just say "no", I don't see the purpose of "coming out" as atheist, in fact giving it the label just seems like you're asking for the attention... I've got along fine with religious folks despite having no religion myself... it's not like people go around asking "do you believe in god" and if they do, then why bother to even talk to someone like that?

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    • VinnyB
      8 years ago

      I feel you have this backwards. I am not the OP but if someone asks me if I believe in god, I will say no like you. But if they ask what I do believe I will tell them I am an atheist. However, I don't think it would be rude or looking for attention if you answer atheist right away, I think it is the person that asked the question in the first place is being rude and seeking attention. They are the ones who decided to randomly announce their religious beliefs with no provocation, all the atheist is doing is answering their question.

      I don't see atheists walking up to people asking "are you an atheist? " but if they did, then I would think that person would be just as wrong as the Christian asking. You can not walk up to someone, announce you are Christian, ask an extremely personal question about the other persons belief system, and then be upset when you get an answer you don't like. If you kept your own shit to yourself in the first place there wouldn't be a problem.

      I am very aware of other religions, I don't hate any religion, but I disbelieve in all of the equally. But the reason this comes up more with Christians is they ask the question more. I have never had a Jew randomly ask if I was Jewish, I have never had a Muslim randomly ask that I was a Muslim. But if someone of another faith took it upon themselves to ask such personal questions, then tuff luck to them too if they don't like the answer.

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      • Shrunk
        8 years ago

        Yeah Sorry, I edited out all the other stuff I said cause I realized it was kind of dumb what I said, I just get annoyed by the typical atheists always acting like they are oppressed and in a society full of idiots or whatever just because some religious people talk to them.

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        • VinnyB
          8 years ago

          I wouldn't use the world oppressed, but it can be uncomfortable. I have said simple things to people like "Good morning" and got answers back like "it is good cause Jesus is with me". It is awkward cause what do you say back to that? I just walk away if I can. That would be like them saying good morning to me and me responding "it is good cause there is no god loarding over me". I would never say that, and I don't know any atheist that would. Believe what ever you want, that's your right, but please keep it to yourself.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Well it's a tricky situation which is going to cause people to be offended most of the time.

    Just say you're an athiest if they ask and if they ask why just tell them that you personally feel more confident in theories and or beliefs that are founded on what can be explained with evidence. Tell them that you don't wish to alter their beliefs but that it's simply what you believe in.

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  • Stamex
    7 years ago

    Whenever you "make a point" you are presenting your opinion. Somebody will always disagree, or get "triggered", and whatever.
    Just stop trying to please other people when you're making a point.
    Make your point, finish, answer whatever question, other stuff, go home and sleep.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    i would have thought it would be harder for them to explain why they are not an atheist than the other way round

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    As a logical thinker I am amazed that so much of society revolves around religion. It doesn't really make sense at all.

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    I don't think you necessarily need to tell them that you're an atheist or agnostic or tell them anything for that matter. You could always say that you prefer not discuss religion. It's often considered bad etiquette to discuss things like race, religion, politics and sex in polite conversation. You're not obligated to discuss any topics which you find inappropriate or uncomfortable.

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  • Nokiot9
    8 years ago

    My whole thng is if someone has the audacity to ask about something as personal as that, they deserve to have their shit come crashing down around them. The kind of people that bandy their faith around in public... They deserve it. If ur gonna try to convince others to follow your faith you need to be prepared to be defensive of it and be intilligent enough to do so effectively. That's why its usually not worth it to bother. It's all rhetoric with them. Because the second u start questioning things, you are the devils advocate.

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  • victorygin
    8 years ago

    "I'm an Atheist. Christianity just isn't for me". And then move the subject onto something else.

    As long as you're respectful, and your tone of voice doesn't carry any sense of superiority or imply that you're belittling religious folk, it's usually not a problem. I'm not saying that's the case, just making the point that it's easy as an atheist to think Christians are, well...kinda dumb and ridiculous. Just something to be careful of.
    Oh, and also maybe you have to be just firm enough to let them know you're not open to conversion.
    In a very Christian area, maybe that's just the way they are and there's not all that much you can do.

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  • zsdworknman
    8 years ago

    I try to keep my beliefs or lack thereof to myself being an atheist as well. I recently found out a poll was done about trustworthiness and they found people placed atheists the second least trustworthy group.

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  • chained_rage
    8 years ago

    If it ever happens that the question of my religion comes up in a conversation, I will answer with: "I am an atheist"

    If they ask me to explain why I am not Christian, I would ask them to explain why they are Christian.

    My point being that (and remember this), in order to get out of sticky religious questions, just answer every question with a question.

    You don't need to answer anything you don't want to.

    They will eventually get tired and go eat apples and hibernate.. or whatever it is Christians do.

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  • VinnyB
    8 years ago

    Just answer "I imagine for the same reasons you are a Christian, personally belief and choice". You do not have to justify your beliefs to them anymore than they have to justify theirs to you.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Why would anyone ask you if you are a christian? How would it even come up in conversation? What a strange thing to talk about with a stranger.
    I don't think it's come up in my life in at least 25 years, but honestly it has been so long I can't remember when it did.

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    • handsignals
      8 years ago

      Were do you live Bro??? There's always Jesus lovers, Jehovo's and Mormons knocking on my door and stopping me in the street.

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        You're kidding, right? Do you really think I'm lying about living on a boat?
        Only way someone can come "knocking on my door" is to have a boat or swim, and the Jesus lovers, Jehovo's and Mormons are not the sort to come a callin way out here.

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