How do you wipe if you have to shit in the woods

Find a vine, with three leaf clusters. This vine will sometimes have reddish tint to the leaves, and the leaves will be flat and almost heart shaped.

Grab as many of those as you can and thoroughly wipe with them. Make sure to clean off your genitals off with these leaves as well. If the hard work of pooping leaves you out of breath and sweaty, feel to grab new fresh leaves from this vine and wipe your face off, focusing around the eyes.

I use Pictures of man united or chelsea players

Where's the option for licking it off your finger afterwards?!

Make do,-as a HOMELESS PERSON would and just find anything on the ground that you can find-it's not the time to be particular finicky,as I myself speak from EXPERIENCE.Use a DEAD ANIMAL on the ground,such as a squirrel or other if you need to.

Have you ever seen a dog with an itchy ass??

That's what I do!

A leaf?

Never go in the woods without toilet paper or a tying rope.

If you're in a country with naturally-occurring geysers then I'd suggest standing astride on and waiting for "Nature's Bidet" to do its work.

If you're not in such a country, you wipe yourself with nettles, cry a little, and think about moving to a country with naturally-occurring geysers.

Find a river and use water, desi style.

I just don't. Later when I get home, I'll wipe real good n change my underwear.

Leaf, grass or someone else's sock, pants and finger

I use the TP and small shovel I brought with me. You can borrow it if you want. The ferns will work in a pinch, but stay away from the leaves of three...that is not a good way to discover a poisonous plant.

I'd just take off my socks and underwear and wipe with those.

Use your pants!? bwahahaha