How do you wipe your butt after pooping?

25 Comments

One of my friends walked in on me wiping my butt standing up, and after I came out he asked me "What the fuck were you doing?". I told him I was wiping my butt, and he said "standing up? wtf?"

This led me to believe we may have other differences in how we wipe, so I asked if he folded his paper (this is how I wipe), and he said that he wadded up his tp. I asked him which direction, he said front to back (same as me), but now I'm wondering which one of us is more normal.

standing up / front to back / folding TP 14
standing up / front to back / wadding up TP 6
standing up / back to front / folding TP 6
standing up / back to front / wadding TP 4
sitting down / front to back / folding TP 38
sitting down / front to back / wadding up TP 15
sitting down / back to front / folding TP 23
sitting down / back to front / wadding TP 6
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Comments ( 25 )
  • dirtybirdy
    8 years ago | pl

    Apparently the standers don't know that the sitters exist and vice versa. As for me, I'm a fuckin bird.

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    • VinnyB
      8 years ago | pl

      I really don't care if you wipe after you poop or not. I just really wish you'd stop doing it on my car.

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      • dirtybirdy
        8 years ago

        Next time I'll hide my poops on your cars wipers. Smeeeaarrrr! That'll teach you to request anything from a cuckoo bird!

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        • VinnyB
          8 years ago

          Noooooo! Lol

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          • dirtybirdy
            8 years ago

            Sorry, I didn't mean it. I got into the catnip again :/

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  • VirgilManly
    8 years ago

    I generally scoot across the carpet.

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  • LuxM4G
    8 years ago

    I don't poop, instead I burn all the energy from inside, there is absolutely no waste whatsoever.

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  • anti-hero
    8 years ago

    I lay down, wipe side to side and fold the paper into origami cranes.

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  • BobbyTheBear
    8 years ago

    spoiler alert! I dont.

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  • charli.m
    8 years ago

    Why does this question get asked all the fuckin time? Why do you even want to know?

    Go wipe your brain with your shit smeared toilet paper.

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    • regisphilbin
      8 years ago

      no need to get so graphic

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      • charli.m
        8 years ago

        It's a poll about shit wiping.

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  • carminepersico
    8 years ago

    I use my wifes tongue.

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  • amyxox23
    8 years ago

    I didn't know there were so many different ways! I will have to try them all! lol

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  • Angelmikeal0
    8 years ago

    i dont.

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  • gloryholeflasher
    8 years ago

    I'm a guy. Back to front with folded paper, sitting down. Then, if I'm at home, I wash myself with a warm soapy wash cloth. Then put a dollop of lotion on my finger and rub it "in". Then wipe off the excess with the washcloth. That way I am nice and clean, and I feel nice and clean, and I don't get skid marks in my panties. Yes, i like to wear pretty panties! I know I may not be considered normal, but that's me!

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    • amyxox23
      8 years ago

      I don't get how you can wipe back to front...don't you get poo on your wrist?

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      • Brownblowout
        8 years ago

        It doesn't make sense does it

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    • Noahsam97
      8 years ago

      Wait?! You wear panties? Never mind

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    • Ace9
      8 years ago

      U don't use battery acid?

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      • gloryholeflasher
        8 years ago

        Never thought if that!

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  • ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
    8 years ago

    I begin with broad strokes of folded Charmin soft and strong-- 'Bout 5 or six sheets. That is from taint to just above my anus.

    I, then, use about 1 to 2 folded sheets and press slightly in to my anus with paper cover middle finger. I do this until a sheet comes out "clean."

    Sitting, yes, sitting. Am I normal?

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  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
    8 years ago

    Sitting. 3 sheets folded. Back to front and front to back. No poo escapes my wipe!.

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  • Miezekatz
    8 years ago

    before Internet existed, everyone was pooping as he wanted and noone was interested, now everybody has to be the oddest of all or the most disgusting. Just poop and keep it for yourself.

    by the way, I dont't eat since 2 years and so I don't have to poop any more. THAT ist great!

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    • Noahsam97
      8 years ago

      Have you died of starvation yet??

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