How do you wish humans had evolved

It's really cool that we have opposable thumbs, clever minds and the power of speech, but if we had adapted one of the cool features some animals had, what would you have liked it to be? Leave a comment as to why you would want it :)

Elephant trunk 0
Tortoise carapace 0
Porcupine quils 1
Duck bill 2
Carnivorous jaws 2
Fluffy tail 14
Cat claws 10
Fish gills 14
None (people would look silly with any of these) 8
Other (tell me!) 19
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Comments ( 77 )
  • Terence_the_viking

    Wings to fly with.

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    • dirtybirdy

      Aww, to be closer to me? Hehe

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      • Terence_the_viking

        Hehe :P

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    • Ixu

      Haha I don't know why I didn't think to put that one down. I want wings! But I'm afraid of heights :/

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      • shade_ilmaendu

        You're not afraid of heights, you're afraid of falling.

        And even then, you're not so much afraid of falling as you are of hitting the ground ;P

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      • Terence_the_viking

        If you had wings you could hover when you fall

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  • dirtybirdy

    Night vision and the ability to turn your head all the way around. Climbing up walls would be fun too.

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    • howaminotmyself

      I want night vision!

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      • dirtybirdy

        It would be SO awesome!

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    • myboyfriendsbitch

      Haha! So creepy.

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    • Ixu

      lol the 2nd one is like an owl. Owls creep me out..

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      • dirtybirdy

        I love owls!

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        • Ixu

          haha but they are so weird!

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          • dirtybirdy

            So am I ;)

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  • Clambones

    More arms. Multitasking as it is is way too hard X.X

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    • Ixu

      Ah so true! I want that, I don't care how crazy creepy that looks

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  • From the list it would either have to be carnivorous jaws or cat claws.

    My own would either be wings or being able to live as long as the tortoise (I think it's them) that live for more than two hundred years.

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    • Ixu

      yeah tortoises are as old as the hills. why does nobody want elephant trunk? I just want to curl up under my blankies but it get's difficult to breath

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  • shade_ilmaendu

    I've always wanted a fluffy taiiiilll. Or wings. Can i has both? And big ass ears to go with the tail O.O

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    • Ixu

      haha I like the wings and tail, but I think the ears may obstruct the wings :/

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      • shade_ilmaendu

        Nahhh... I'll tuck them into a scarf or an aviator helmet!

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        • Ixu

          dawww this person/creature as I imagine it looks very cute ( ́・ω・`)

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  • РодинаРоссии

    Its weird. If a single person had any of those features, the'd be considered a freak. But if everyone had them, your social status would be determined by how fluffy your tail is or how big your wings are.

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    • Ixu

      lol so true

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  • bananaface

    I've always really, really wanted a tail. Like maybe a monkey tail, those look pretty useful. And I could whip people with it and stuff. Aww, man, I wish I had a tail so much!

    Although, all the comments so far are way more impressive. I'm going to think and see if I can come up with anything better than a tail. A tail is just one of the only things which I felt like was sort of missing from my body, which is really stupid, but I just want a tail!

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    • Ixu

      I've always really wanted a big fluffy tail :) I just think it would be really great to curl up in my own giant fuzzy warmth

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      • bananaface

        If only!:( I want helicopter hair too.

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        • shuggy-chan

          Haha I love u NA as, u made me pee a little

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        • SirSlenderMan

          Like Tails from Sonic? That sounds awesome.

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  • Azzaza

    Gills and wings.

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  • CloudyPachinko

    A second set of eyes.

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  • iscreamman02

    It would have to be a chamillion.defenatly.For lots of reasons. ;)

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  • SeverusFan23

    I don't believe in Evolution.

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  • I don't believe in Evolution. Sorry.

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    • GoraIntoDesiGals

      Seems odd. Your views on abortion etc seem to reflect that of an atheist. If you don't believe in evolution then what else?

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      • SeverusFan23

        she's not a atheist. She told me she's a agnostic. ^_^

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  • hairyfairy

    I wish that humans hadn`t evolved a vomit reflex, then our streets would be a damn sight cleaner, especially on sunday mornings!

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  • q25t

    Echolocation as in the type that bats and dolphins use.

    Or the secret sense that sharks have to sense electrical impulses from other creatures.

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    • Ixu

      interesting. i hadn't even considered things that don't make a difference in the physical appearance, these are super powers (yes weird animals have super powers)

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  • Avant-Garde

    There's a old children's book this reminds me of. If my memory serves me right, it's about a lion who meets other animals and wishes he could be like them (example: He wishes for butterfly wings so he can fly, Kangaroo legs so he can jump high, a elephant trunk so he can spray water all over the place,etc.) Eventually, he alters himself with so many wishes that he realizes that he's become a monster. He meets another lion who makes him realize that he was fine the way he originally was and he turns him back into a normal lion.

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    • Ixu

      well self acceptance is a good lesson we should all learn. But thinking about the strange possibilities is always fun :D when I was a kid we played a game we called evolution, where at certain intervals we'd choose(pretend) one item to evolve (defence, legs, wings, horns etc) and it was a tactical game to see who would be the ultimate survivor, and in order to remember all of these we would draw our appearance, which is what your lion story makes me picture :) fun times!

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  • VioletTrees

    I'd be happy with a normal, functioning body.

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    • Ixu

      me too

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  • dom180

    Pleasant, kind-spirited personalities.

    Or wheels. Wheels are better.

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    • shade_ilmaendu

      Oooh, ever read His Dark Materials?

      There are this race in one of the worlds they visit that kinda look like elephant horses but they have a triangular body so their legs are positioned oddly. They had these big hook claws on two of them and they would stick it into a giant seedpod and use it as a wheel.

      Pretty awesome stuff

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      • Ixu

        This makes me think of adventure time.

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      • dom180

        I have, but I'd forgotten about them! :O Such wonderful books, thank you for reminding me :D

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    • Avant-Garde

      Oh no! Then, you'd be like one of the dreaded Wheelers!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM0RFE3QGAU

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      • Ixu

        Aahaha I want those wheels! :D ..that childs pretty creepy

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        • Avant-Garde

          I remembering her being really creepy when she grew up and played in The Craft.

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      • dom180

        OH MY GOD THEY'RE CREEPY. They must get bad backs though :(

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        • Avant-Garde

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBfmR4rEeHU

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVasO9ndqcc

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        • Avant-Garde

          I've never thought about their backs before. It may be hard to believe but they weren't the frightening thing about that film. There's a scene where Faruza (Dorothy) gets locked in the tower with Tock and Jack and they make a plan to escape. Jack tells them that Princess Mombi has this "magic powder of life", that makes anything inanimate come to life, and where it's stored. Faruza goes into Mombi's bedroom to retrieve the key and to her horror (mine as well) Mombi is headless. She gets the key without waking Mombi up and goes into this room where she has countless of sleeping heads that she stole from the female citizens of OZ!

          The magic powder is all the way at the end of the corridor and it's stored in a cabinet with Mombi's true "head". While Faruza is trying to get the powder she ends up doing something that wakes up Mombi's true head and the other heads which start screaming unison. She tries to run out of there and Mombi's headless body comes and tries to stop her. Of course, she makes it out of there and manages with some difficulty to make to the sofa come alive. I was on the edge of my seat with that.

          There's another scene where the Gnome King tries to kill Faruza and her friends and the her chicken lays an egg which rolls down his throat and kills him.

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    • Ixu

      Yeah if only..

      I actually watched a pretty interesting video recently on why animals could never evolved wheels

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      • dom180

        I watch something like that too. Wheels require an axle, which would require the animal growing separate parts from it's body or making use of it's environment in a very ingenious way to sculpt one out of wood or stone. Wheels also need roads, and building roads is too time-consuming and difficult for it to be worthwhile (especially when roads would be as beneficial for other species as the species which builds them).

        May I also suggest a fire-breathing penis?

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        • Ixu

          Do you watch Vsauce?

          Lol NO that would scare away all the dames~

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          • dom180

            Ahhhh, yes I do :) I couldn't remember if it was Vsauce or SciShow I saw that about the wheels on, or something else :P

            But it would be AWESOME o_O

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            • Ixu

              Ah that's superb! I like Michael and his mysterious ways of popping up into the camera, I wonder how he does it... It might have been scishow, i dunno.
              haha well don't come crying to me when some brave heroine dares to slay thyne beast

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  • LilyAmongTheThorns

    Wings, totally! How is "wings" not on the list? I want to fllllyyyyy so bad it would be the best feeling in the world! =^-^=

    My favorite dreams are ones where I can fly. Having one puts me in a good mood for like a week straight!

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    • Ixu

      I am terribly sorry it simply just didn't occur to me at the time but I'm sure a lot of people would like that one :D

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      • LilyAmongTheThorns

        All good! ^-^

        Flying would just be wonderful. But I like a lot of answers I read here, very cool question!

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  • Orthanc

    Retractable genitals, so males don't have such a vulnerable spot on their bodies.

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    • Avant-Garde

      There's a martial art technique where you can make your balls retractable. I think there was a contestant on Britain's Got Talent who could do this.

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    • Ixu

      That's a pretty good one

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  • dappled

    The ability to power electrical devices from our own energy.

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    • VioletTrees

      That would be really convenient for people with pacemakers.

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    • howaminotmyself

      Bicycle generators don't count?

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      • dappled

        Only in the same way that a Boeing 747 means human beings have developed the ability to fly. :P

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        • howaminotmyself

          Parachutes would have been a better rebuttal. :P

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          • dappled

            I'm lucky there was a rebuttal at all. I almost called it squirrel-win and stalked off. :P

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            • howaminotmyself

              I'm not convinced I lost...but squirrel has a cold and little energy for debate.:(

              If only there was a way to harness the power of my sneezing.

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  • God made man,but a monkey supplied the glue.Self explanitory.

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    • Ixu

      blegh

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