How to show interest best when dating?

This year I got rejected the first time and it was due to a lack of chemistry and now I want to avoid it. I am a standoffish person so its easy for it to happen for me unless i'm dating someone who finds that attractive. I dont know how women usually act with a man they are dating but they are likely more physical than me. I get along very well with men as friends since I am happy to play video games together and most men ive met has been into video games, apart from one who thought he was too important for anything fun and constantly had to prove himself a serious business-type man. The guy ive just started dating we had a very nice first date. We have just realized we are into the same video games which is great too because its a way of having fun together inbetween dates. He seems on the shy side and maybe kind of like me in not being very flirty and if two people are like that I am guessing it is harder to develop chemistry. I guess that means I should be more stereotypically woman which im not sure what it means but according to my mom women dote on a man they are into a lot and to give him compliments. I am a shy person too so I find it uncomfortable to act like that so I dont bother.
Our text conversations are normal, I dont know if I should try to send cuter texts or something and I wonder what is most important on a second date - to laugh a lot or to have deep conversation? The guy who rejected me this year I thought we had a great second date because we had deep conversations but afterwards he expressed that having made him uncomfortable so now im not sure if that is good.