How to tell him im not straight

I havent dated in ages because ive known for years im not sexually attracted to men and I don't know where to meet lesbian women. Then my family has kept bugging me to find a man because i'm lonely and i've been more depressed. I felt guilty to worry everyone so I went on tinder because maybe I could find some guy willing to hang out, I have before. I find a guy and he turns out be desperate. He told his family about us after our third date even though I said to him that I didnt think that would be okay. He's telling things to his family about how i'm his girlfriend and I dont know what he's saying exactly...
We dont even have chemistry. We see each other and sit quietly for 2 hours staring infront of us because we have nothing to talk about but apparently that is hot to him.
I thought I could do this but I cant.
He is an inexperienced guy who is anxious as a person so how do I tell him i'm a lesbian?
I may have turned down entering a relationship with him already (because we've only known each other 1 month and we barely talk) but i've told him my aim with tinder was to find a relationship, and we do kiss and hold hands. I was not lying though, as part of me was hoping that if I get to know a guy well enough i'll be sexually attracted to him and we can enter a relationship. I should've known that wouldn't work though, as i've dated so much in the past and gotten to know guys I really liked yet nothing changed inside me. This was my last attempt and I already cant do it anymore. I've never kissed him myself, it is him who insists on kissing me.
Ive never even had sex with a man. Just thinking about it feels like violation.