How to tell if a friend likes you?

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9 Comments

I love my friend. And I think she loves me, too. But I have my doubts. And I just don't know. My friend is not expressive and says her parents never hugged her and she is not used to emotion...just logic. I do drive 1.5 hours one way to see her each week or so, but here's the things she's done for me:
1. Gets me gas sometimes
2. Buys me presents for no reason
3. Offered to pay my class fee to take a course that would have led to a job. I think she would have paid it if I had let her.
4. She has treated me to so many movies and we alternate who pays for the lunches. One week she, one week me.
5. She has gotten me more into athletics and running and has introduced me to her running mates.
6. She wants me to meet her little sister.
7. She gave me a necklace that said friends forever.
8. We chat for 2 to 3 hours each night. I usually initiate these but she happily replies. She told me i would need to initiate most of them, because of her at home job.
9. She does seem to always want whats best for me.
10. She helped me find the cause to my medical symptoms even when doctors couldn't.
11. She sends me a video of her singing to me.
12. She is planning all events she wants to do with me, including one day, taking me across the US to see her hometown.

Based on what i wrote, does it sound like I have a good friend?
It is just hard for her to express her emotions and express her needs. And it is difficult for me, I guess, because I love to openly express fondness.

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 4 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Jh9856
    9 months ago

    And then, you will end up played and taken advantage of

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  • Tommythecaty
    9 months ago

    Mad obsessive.

    Go outside, meet other women.

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  • kikilizzo
    9 months ago

    Possibly. I'm not expressive either and she's done more for you than i've ever done for people i've actually dated. She sounds very expressive to me.

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  • SaddleGoose
    9 months ago

    Uh, yeah, this sounds like there's a strong chance she's in to you romantically, and it sounds like she has done so much of the work, so now it's your turn to take that leap and ask.

    Her "I don't express emotions" comment is not true, she's shown plenty in the list of things she's done for you. I'd suspect that when she says she's not good at expressing emotion that it is is her way baiting you to take the chance she's too cautious to do herself.

    There's always a chance that it may not be the case but don't be that fool that wonders "What if" in the past tense, she can and will move on if you don't take the chance. Some things are worth risking rejection for, friend. Be upfront about it, don't be coy. Tell her that you've noticed all of these things and that you'd want to take it further if she feels the same.

    The opportunity will leave one day if you don't take it when you can. Good luck! <3

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    • ospry
      9 months ago

      Women aren't that simple. If OP acts on these suspicions, the most likely outcome is that he loses both a romantic prospect and a close friend

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      • SaddleGoose
        9 months ago

        They are. People in general are that simple. I don't buy into the fantasy that women are these super complex mystical beings, my life experience has shown the opposite because we're all just people, that's all.

        She has done everything in her power to tie him in to many elements of her own life. Is it possible she doesn't like him in that way? Sure, but all these signs point to her liking him more so than the opposite, and I think the advice you're giving which insinuates he should take the chance is pretty bad. This isn't typical behaviour women do for guys they're just friends with, and if OP wants to take it further he has been given every reason to believe it's possible.

        If this isn't enough for a man to suspect a woman is interested in him, then quite frankly I can't see anything short of her just stripping down saying "Take me now" being the only sign women give to show interest, which is obviously absurd.

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        • ospry
          9 months ago

          She got OP a necklace that says "Friends forever". Everything else is irrelevant. She could go up to OP and stick her tongue down his throat in a passionate make out and she would still consider them to be "just friends"

          If a woman ever says you're friends, never challenge that. It means your friends and romantic interest isn't on the table. Questioning it will lose you your friend because she'll feel like you were only friends because you hoped you'd get in her pants

          OP can take your advice, but there's no less than a 100% chance that she'll be offended and end their friendship

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          • SkullsNRoses
            9 months ago

            The “friends forever” necklace threw me as well. It also made me wonder if OP is a woman as that’s more of a female gift.

            On the other hand if she just sees OP as a friend (regardless of gender) why does she want to fly them 100s of miles to visit her hometown? Unless it’s a major tourist town that seems like something you would want to do with a potential partner. Maybe I’m just a little repulsive but none of my friends have gone out of their way to introduce me to their family either.

            I’m going to be unhelpful and say just trust your gut here OP.

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          • SaddleGoose
            9 months ago

            Not to be rude but this is the most online thing I've ever heard about these sorts of situations. Everything the OP has expressed in this post is typical "relationship" behaviour, not friendship behaviour and you're suggesting that just because they refer to each other as friends in one way or another that romantic feelings can't possibly be a thing, which is simply not true. I know this because I went through the exact same thing with my friend before I got in to my 7 year long relationship with them and I don't doubt you've grown up seeing this exact thing happen where people are too shy to take the next step and risk rejection so they just claim they're "close friends" but then later end up dating.

            If a woman or a man refers to you as a friend that does not mean you can't take your chance and ask if done so respectfully. People are entitled to see if a relationship can go further just as people are entitled to say no to the proposal.

            If you're seriously saying that there's no less than 100% chance that she'd be offended then I'm going to be honest with you, I don't think you've had the experience in or around these topics and are solely making this stance on online discourse rather than real life experience.

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