I’m scared to have sex again after 4 years?

100% Normal
2 Comments

My last relationship was absolute trash. I was cheated on, lied to, constantly gaslighted and sexually abused.
He basically messed me up to the point were I completely shut myself off to dating.

I finally started opening up to the idea again after years of celibacy.I feel very free, and no longer tied to my shit ex boyfriend. I swore off to men forever but life had other plans.

I met this amazing men at a friends get together a couple of months ago. We started hanging out a lot afterwards. At first I just wanted to be friends which he was okay with after I explained to him about my past, but I started to realized that he made me feel things I hadn’t in so long.

We’ve been together for 3 months now and it’s been the best I’ve had in forever. He hasn’t pressured me into sex but a couple of times while making out he will try to take my shirt off and it freaks me out. It’s not I don’t want to have sex with him, it’s just I feel like I’m a virgin all over again. I know I won’t be very good and he might be turned off by me.
He says he doesn’t care about the sex but I know it’s bothering him. I’m pretty scared he will leave me if I don’t give him anything.
Is this normal? Or is there something wrong with me?

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100% Normal
Based on 3 votes
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Comments ( 2 )
  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    Talk to him about your past relationship and how it is still affecting you.

    Ask him to be patient, take is very slow, and assist you to slowly reconnect to normal.

    Any decent guy will go along with that...

    If that does not work (even after he has gone along with it) I suggest talking to a counselor experienced in such trauma and one that you are comfortable working with.

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  • MonkThousandWords
    2 years ago

    It's trauma probably?, best wishes for you to get over it.

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