I almost got to finally talk to him after 4 years

Hey, it's "Mr. wedding crasher" again. On Palm Sunday, i was working at my grocery store gathering shopping carts. I happened to glance out into the back of the parking lot. I saw two trucks and two men talking. It seemed like they needed to meet somewhere just for a minute. I saw a white GMC truck with a browning deer head decal and a fishing pole in the truck bed. I looked at the guys who were there. One was blonde with longish hair and he was wearing an orange and white hat. Within 3 seconds or less I at least 75% sure it was HIM. But i wasn't 100% sure. This is what did me in. I saw him glance in my direction and then enter his truck. I walked out there and watched from a distance. His windows were very dark so i couldn't see him anymore once he got in. Then, he backed up and drove right past me, leaving the store parking lot. I regret not running up to him. If i had been 100% sure, he would have not been able to leave without talking to me. I was just scared that i would be approaching a total stranger. I have been going over this and kicking myself in the ass for this since then.

I really wish i could have talked to him and finally found out "WHY"?!!! I wasn't afraid of doing it while working because he would not come back if he didn't want to see me. He would not complain to the store because he wouldn't want to escalate things and see or deal with me again. I just need a final conversation, which i have never had a chance to officially have.

He is not married yet. I have been checking his church bulletin weekly and googling his name daily. Same for his girlfriend. Nothing yet, THANK YOU GOD!!! I often wonder if he knows that I'm obsessed and still "stalking" him after 4 years. He didn't bother to say hello as he was driving away. I wonder if every time he gets an unexpected sign in attempt, does he assume it was me and just brush it off?

I tried to see his medical records once. Now i have impersonated one of his girlfriend's friends on instagram to try to get her to follow me. This is so i can see her private account. The bitch didn't follow me back. Even worse, instagram wants a fucking phone number for my damn fake account. What a bunch of shitheads that run that site. I'm considering getting a second phone so i can do this. they seem to know online phone numbers from real ones.
Surprisingly, we are still friends on snapchat, though he never posts. I tried to log in to see his location, but it didn't work. I wonder if he really HATES ME. he is a devout 4th degree knight of Columbus catholic. It would seem that he couldn't hate anyone. I don't hate him, i just hate what he has done without me and what he hasn't done for me. My obsession was getting better but has majorly been aggravated by me seeing him.

I just don't think he deserves my ex therapist's daughter or any other woman. Not after what happened with me. I still see my ex therapist in my store. She sometimes checks out by me. I never bring up this subject to her but i always wonder "what does she know"?!

I really need to have my final conversation with him. I'm hoping that i will run into him again but it probably wont happen at work. I passed by the sporting goods section in walmart at least 10 times. I will try academy next. I can't deal with it anymore. Me checking the social media accounts and church bulletin is as routine as breathing.

I suppose is shouldn't be beating myself up about missing this opportunity. I just don't want to have to wait until after his penis in inserted in her. If this happens then i will be so furious i may not be civil at all. I would be civil now. Since he's a devout catholic, no marriage = no sex. I still have a decent chance. My Easter wish is to be able to talk to him one more time. I just want to be done with being obsessed with him. May God help me.