I am afraid of spiders

Even when I was a little kid, I had a huge respect for spiders. Their body control, their elegance, their intelligence. They could be fucking ninjas who break into my house just to spray me full of their sticky juice.

But yesterday I went hiking in the woods and sat on a rock to empty myself. Suddenly I feel something tickling my bottom. My whole bottom was full of spiders.

Since then, every night I get nightmares about spiders nesting in my rectum, having ninja parties there and reproducing and forming a colony and going to war with the ants in my belly button.