I am an involuntary asshole

13 Comments

I have a passion for dancing, modern jive to be more specific. There is a girl who has been very interested in me for almost 3 years now, who happens to be my dance partner. I can’t be with her due to cultural restrictions on my side and I have informed her about it years ago when I started picking up the hints. I always remind her that I am always there for her, but only as a platonic friend and I can’t offer her more than that.

Last week, I informed her that I’m moving home to my own country. She broke down in tears and I held her in my arms for over an hour, telling her that I will always be her friend. I have been feeling like an ass ever since, as I have probably been around too long while knowing about her feelings. I did my best to communicate the situation to her, but I have failed miserably and the only right move would had been to quit dancing as soon as I saw her feelings, instead of thinking that a friend zone would work.

You’re an ass 1
You did your best 10
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Comments ( 13 )
  • [Old Memory]
    2 years ago

    You havent done anything wrong.
    You didn't lead her on at any point from the sounds of it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      I tried my best. Whenever she got too close, I reminded her about my situation

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  • RoseIsabella
    2 years ago

    No, dear heart, you have done nothing wrong! It sounds to me like you have been the exact opposite of an asshole, and as far I'm concerned you've done everything right! 🤗
    *hugs and paws up*
    ☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡

    Don't let this girl make you feel guilty!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Thanks Rose, it’s such a relief to know that at least I did my very best! A part of me says that I should had quit dancing already when I knew she had feelings for me, but that would hurt her feelings in other ways. She is a very dear friend of mine and I thought friend zone would eventually work out, but it seems like I underestimated her feelings

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      • RoseIsabella
        2 years ago

        Hmm... well, whether, or you choose to quit the dancing thing is totally up to you, but the thing is is that you are not responsible for this person's feelings, and you have just as much of a right to be there as anyone else!

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  • Tommythecaty
    2 years ago

    “modern jive to be more specific”

    I got that far before I agreed. 😂

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    2 years ago

    Thanks for an awesome post. It’s spot on in every possible way. I did try to bid farewell in the best way possible, but she ended up crying and I have been shedding a few tears myself during the week when thinking back on it.

    Saying goodbye is never easy. I guess we all have difficulties with bidding farewell

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  • Somenormie
    2 years ago

    ..... And how does that make you an asshole?????

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      I feel like I should had left earlier to not hurt her feelings

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    were yall having sex?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Nope, purely platonic.

      I wouldn’t use her that way, it’s just wrong. She means so much to me, but as a dear friend as I couldn’t offer her more.

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        2 years ago

        Ahh, you didnt do anything wrong. Id feel bad too but it was not your fault. Had you have stopped dancing with her that would have been hurtful to her also.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          2 years ago

          I always used to tell her “let’s enjoy our time together, but don’t dwell on me when I’m gone. I have my constraints, but I will always be your friend”.

          Leaving a dear friend sure is hard. I held myself together while she was crying in my arms, but I have been shedding quite a number of tears daily at home, where no one can see me ever since.

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