I asked her to do one thing...

Hello...

I recently went on vacation to the coast. Now I needed a place to stay so I started looking at pet-friendly hotels. I called and booked a room and asked the receptionist to confirm the pet friendliness. It was indeed pet-friendly

But mind you this: I have a pet chicken.

I told the receptionist what type of pet I had and suddenly I wasn't allowed to have "that type" of pet because it didn't meet the criteria of what was appropriate to have there.

So in short notice I had to ask my longtime friend Karen to watch over Jane-- the name of my chicken, for me. Karen and I go way back, and I mean waaaaaay back. We were born in the same hospital on the same day and our moms are friends too. We're two peas in a pod.

I could go into detail but that is not what the story is about so I'll stay on track.

Karen agreed to watch over Chicken Jane for me so I could go on holiday. She was more than delighted to do so. I gave Karen the key to my house and gave her all the chicken goodies and a list of things to do for Jane while I wasn't there. "No problem!" she said.

Mmhmm okay... Uh-huh

Big problem.

I come back a week later and get to my house to see Karen sitting on the couch and watching the telly, looking quite pleased with herself. I didn't really pay any mind to the expression on her face. I just thought she was happy for watching over my little bird, like a good friend should do.

The house is quiet-- Jane usually greets me when I come home but not this time! I get a little worried and ask Karen where she is and Karen nonchalantly says she doesn't know. This sends me into a panic and I start frantically searching for Jane. I check all of her hiding places like the cupboard, her chicken coop, the cat house! Everywhere! This goes on for about three hours and Karen searched with me the whole time. Jane has only run away from home once but she came right back.

I sit down overwhelmed and start bawling! I mean, I've had Jane for about five years the thought of her being gone killed me.

I go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator but Karen tries to stop me. I just moved her aside and proceeded to the refrigerator. (No one is going to tell me what to do in my house) when I open the door I was not prepared for what I saw...

LEFTOVER CHICKEN!!

I'm a vegetarian

I look suspiciously back at Karen to see her sweating nervously. I approached her and went off on her asking her how that chicken carcass got in my house and all she could do was stammer and stutter like a halfwitted twit! Out of rage I told her to get out of my house and never come back.

Two days later she confesses to me over the phone that she ate Jane! Why!!! I specifically instructed her to watch over her while I was gone and her greedy ass had the nerve to eat her! She probably didn't even use proper seasoning either! I'm just so overwhelmed with emotions and I can never forgive her for what she's done. For now I consider Karen dead to me.

Is it normal this happened???? This is just freaking terrible!

Voting Results
21% Normal
Based on 56 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously

    It's obvious. You now have to eat Karen. It will make you both feel better.

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    • Tempest-au

      Hmm, eat Karen, two peas (or pees) in a pod. Has potential.

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      • Ass_gas

        Eat Soylent Green as the chickens watch the poetic justice.

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  • KingTermite

    Somewhat imaginative but ultimately just a troll.

    Two main problems:

    1) Most people wouldn't have the slightest idea how to take a living, running around trying to escape chicken and turn it into food. If your friend has this sort of history or background then obviously you made a very poor decision about your pea pod pal watching your pet.

    2) Didn't use the right seasoning. This is the other give away. If you were that distraught, as if this had really happened, you would not make that sort of comment.

    The third problem isn't proof of troll so it doesn't get a number but what sort of fuckwit has a chicken as a pet? Of course hotels don't let you bring in livestock.

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    • 1) I have let Karen care for Jane before, we live in somewhat of a country town so it's not uncommon to have a pet chicken, duck or goose. Karen and Jane got along well and she always snuggles her and gave her kisses. All of that good stuff

      2) I'm trying to use a little comic relief to get over this tragedy and it worked a little but it still hurts knowing Jane is gone now. I don't think any other chickadee can replace her she was a one-of-a-kind bird, I pretty much considered her family.

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    • Tinybird

      I have 11 chickens as pets :)

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    • Tempest-au

      They really should teach skills like dressing chickens and other small animals in schools, particularly schools from non-rural areas. Make it a combined biology/home economics class. Certainly more "practical" than cutting up frogs.

      That being said, having the skills to turn Donald Duck into Duck a l'orange shouldn't preclude someone from caring for said duck. I'm from a rural background, and find the insinuation I would automatically want to eat someone's pet a little upsetting.

      Damn, now I want duck....

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      • KingTermite

        I think you've run with this in entirely the wrong direction. If my friend had a background in butchery I wouldn't leave a pet of the variety often butchered with them without at least a bit of conversation covering the sort of care I had in mind. He said he asked her one thing. Presumably that was watch the chicken. This one thing does not preclude "watch the chicken... die.", "watch the chicken... cook" etc.

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        • Tempest-au

          Okay, I concede your point.

          (Plus, I'm laughing too hard to type effectively)

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  • D@RKT0WN

    Poor Jane. that wasn't right to eat her

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    • I don't know what came over her

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  • Tempest-au

    This should be a children's book - "Fun with Chicken Jane (No Dick)".

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  • mysistersshadow

    I prefer the attempts at amateur erotica this was kinda dull.

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  • ComboverKing

    This friend of yours is no friend. But didn't you have some sense of that before you asked her to pet sit?

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  • hamster.in.a.jug

    Now you should eat one of her most beloved plants. That'll teach her.

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  • Exterminator2

    What a lovely troll! Wish it had a happy ending. I know, rewrite this piece of shit and post it after the holiday!

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    • I would tell you to rewrite your face but I don't think anyone would want to see it a second time.

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  • IMissMary

    Reminds me of the time a guy fed his ex-gf her dog.

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    • Tempest-au

      I bet she was barking mad when she found out! Seriously, feeding your ex her dog is a bit ruff. Howl did he make it taste "not strange"?

      So many questions, I'll have to bone up on this story. I don't suppose you could give me a lead, or even fetch me a link now that I've collared you?

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      • Omg

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    • I remember that story

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  • Protagoras

    I am literally in tears of laughter right not, when I read the part about you bawling I fucking lost it.

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  • jethro

    Hey who could resist a good fricassee. Besides a chicken that old would be really tough.

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    • Tempest-au

      That's why they have pressure cookers. ;)

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      • jethro

        True.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Cool story.

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    • :(

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      • RoseIsabella

        Maybe you could sue that awful Karen bitch?

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