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I avoid making promises because I am really bad at keeping them. Maybe I have commitment issues but at least I try not to make false promises. But then there are people in my life who are angry when I avoid making a promise and they try to pressure me into a promise. Then they get angry again if I don't fulfill the promise they pressured me into.
Those people you're talking about, they're often called toxic manipulators. I generally don't enjoy people who try to control me, most people don't.
I'm like that too, but I'm not sure how normal it is frankly. I'm not very self-discipled, and I find it very stressful if I make any sort of commitment—I feel a lot of pressure to keep it, and yet I often don't. And then I feel really bad for lying. So like you, it just seems the best thing for everybody if I don't make them.
Makes sense.
You shouldn't make promises if you can't keep em, way too many people do that so i'd rather have more people like you in the world who were honest.
Promises should be few and seldom only made when you are going to do everything you can possibly do to keep them. And yes you should feel bad or guilty if you break one especially if you just forgot or didn't try to keep it.
You sound like a decent person with good concept of making promises.
Unfortunately it has become to common to be like a politician and promise the world with little or no intent on keeping them. As well as no feeling of remorse for not keeping or punishment/reaction for breaking it.
If the punishment was loss of a limb for not living up to your promise, there would be a lot less promises made but a lot more kept.
I've learned discretion: I only make a promise for things I actually intend to keep.
In normal conversation I normally say something along the lines of "typically in these situations I do _____; but, not always due to specific reasons"
Its better not to. One time I got in trouble for being late to work I told my boss it wont happen again. Some old head came up and was like "you know if you blow a tire or something you could be late and you just told him it WONT happen again". Now I never make claims like that.