I believe a married man has a crush on me

87 Comments

There is this guy I work with about 1-3 times a week. He is a really sweet guy and the things he does it seems like he has at least a small crush on me. Of course nothing is going to happen, I won't let it. Plus... I can't see him taking any actions. Come on' he has a wife and a little girl even. My instincts could be wrong but man... it's one of those moments you wish they were single. And yes I know this is "normal".

I'm sure others here have had this happen to them too. But I'm just curious to see the comments. So has this happened to you?

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Comments ( 87 )
  • DuzIt?
    11 years ago

    Does it not embarrass all of you to see such discussions on posts like these? The last one I remember was the one about accompanied men ogling other women.

    To ItDuz: it's not because YOU DON'T do it or feel it, that heterosexual normal men don't and that women are making it up to feel good about themselves for being desired. Also it doesn't mean you have to intervene and stand up for ALL MEN from evil creatures whose vaginas are ready to eat your kind.

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    • Saycheese
      11 years ago

      Yep, I sure want you sooooo badly....

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    don't listen to itduz. he has no real life experience. he's married? has a daughter? when did that ever stop a man or woman from cheating, honestly. he wants to fuck. it's your call. its a bad idea. most/all the parties in this ordeal will lose if things go badly. especially you.

    yeah this is normal. married people have feelings for others alllll the time. I know it's awkward and awfully disappointing but move on, and don't give him any signals.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      Again, reply to me instead of including me without making me notice the comment, it makes you look like a coward.

      A psychologist has no experience of being a schizophrenic, does that mean he has no knowledge on he negatives of it? If you insist on saying I don't know what I'm talking about, use better reasons, don't make it so easy for me to show up your irrationality.

      Your comment on this matter is just terrible. "He's married, he has a daughter, when did that stop a man or woman from cheating", well so does she, not sure about the child part, though. Why just target him as someone in this situation that those things won't hold him back from cheating?

      "He just wants to fuck". Good conclusion there, thinking about it. Funny thing is, you attack my credibility on life experience when your great conclusion is "he wants to fuck". Irony or stupidity? I'd say both.

      We still don't know if he actual has any feelings for her. So far all we know is that he was being nice to her, and that "she" has a crush on "him".

      How will it go baddly especially to her? Yeah, because the man has less to lose.

      It didn't shock me that you would come to the conclusion "he wants to fuck"...Only a hint of pure genius can come to such a conclusion. Modern world will change as we know it with such amazing genius.

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      • thinkingaboutit
        11 years ago

        it's not cowardice, it's not wanting to engage in your stupidity.

        you have no life skills asshole. you know little about people. It's absolutely ridiculous that you jump to give her false advice.

        He does want to fuck. That's what men and women want to do. all the time. no one talks about it, but everyone knows it.

        We don't need to know anything but she is giving and receiving signals to/from him. He is engaging, and she is receptive. Itduz, when you aren't as immature you'll realize there is little that desire cannot eventually overcome. it's not about romantic feelings; it's the animal in all of us.

        Yeah, what do you think lovers get from such alliances? Usually nothing. No marriage. maybe a bastard child. A bad reputation. a lot of waiting around. hurt feelings.

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        • Corleone
          11 years ago

          Don't pay too much attention to him. All this guy does is lurking around on IIN spouting random insults. Mostly misogynistic bullcrap.

          I think you're absolutely right. Have an upvote!

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          • thinkingaboutit
            11 years ago

            thanks. yes, I know what he does and says.

            "Ladies...you're not some super-desired species, you're not". Can you believe that? hahahahahahhaha what is that

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            • [Old Memory]
              11 years ago

              -Facepalm- If you didn't get the point of that, then wow, just wow.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            Lurk around on IIN? I do what any other user does, I come on the site and use the comment feature. I am not in college for my second course yet, which is why I have free time.

            Spouting insults? You know what, I will remove myself from IsItNormal if you can find three comments of mine that just gives out insults out of malice without explaining why I think they're wrong.

            Misogynistic? No, just because you get offended by what is said does not make it misogynistic. Again, if it's bullcrap, prove it. Why is it mainly females that think statements are enough without proving what you say to be true?

            No doubt you're just another girl upset with rational thinking that does not praise you.

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            • [Old Memory]
              11 years ago

              Your irrationality is shown by how you thumbs down a comment that is asking you to prove what you say. You dislike it when people tell you to prove what you say? So you assume it's a bad thing to ask for proof instead of just taking someone's word for it?

              I am asking you to prove it, and you dislike it. Tell me again how what I say is bullcrap opposed to what you just done?

              No dounbt a reply with you proving your point will not follow.

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        • [Old Memory]
          11 years ago

          If it wasn't cowardice, you just wanting to avoid engaging in my "stupidity", then you would of avoided engaging my "stupidity" when called out on you being a coward.

          I have no life skills? Like what? Experiences? I beg to differ, I am willing to bet I have experienced things most people don't, including you. I am willing to bet that I have seen the best of people and the worst of people with the life situations my family and I have had to go through, ones you have no experience on. I know more about people than you do. I was thinking "Would that sound arrogant", but came to realize it wouldn't, I simply do. I have no doubt I have engaged with far more people than you due to my life style of constant moving around, and know people far more than you do by experiencing the worst of people, situations you have not been through. So before you assume things about people, use your brain, or whatever is replacing yours.

          False advice? I didn'ty give any. Knock, knock, Thinkingaboutit, are you going to live up to your username and think about it? I did not offer any advice, just mentioned possibilities.

          But, besides that little false advice part, I will assume you meant wrong information. So it's wrong information to mention how someone having a crush on them doesn't mean they share the same feelings, and that just because someone is nice, that doesn't mean they want to "fuck you"? Where as your advice is "Oh em gee, he's nice to you? He wants to toally fuck you!", yet "my" comment is ridiculous? Pfft, the irony. Arrogance only works when you back it up with that thing you and your user name don't share.

          What? You are trying to attack my credibility due to my comment, and then you say something like "All people want to do is fuck all the time"..."I'm" ridiculous? "I'm" ridiculous? Wow. I don't even need to explain that.

          No, nobody says they want to fuck all the time because they don't want to "fuck" all the time. Such a stupid claim can only be stated by someone like you, someone that thinks they are so amazingly intelligent, yet so unbelievably wrong in so many areas other than common knowledge. Actually, no, not even in common knowledge (The dictionary situation).

          What signals? You're implying that any positive engagement equals to wanting sexual interaction. There was a time when I agreed with you on something and said something along the lines of "I agree completely, glad you noticed that", does that mean I want to fuck you? Does that mean anyone you are nice to, you want to fuck? He is being nice, that doe snot mean he wants to "fuck" her. The signals she may be receiving may be misunderstood, he may just be being nice, nothing more, and she misunderstood. You are implying that if one feels something, that's how it is, which again, the ridiculous claim you made to me is just ironic.

          You're again trying to attack my character by calling me immature for not accepting your irrational and immature thought process. What's to say he "disires" her? There may not even be a desire, he may just be nice. What if it is his desire to be nice to people?
          Really, if this has been taught to you by the same college/university that taught you not to accept dictionary definitions, you need to find a new college/university. Really.

          I definetly agree that marriage is a bad thing (not thought about if relationships are, at this stage I don't believe they are bad). I asked why it would be "especially" bad for the female and not equally for the male.

          I'll assume you made a mistake in presenting a point, and will answer in regards to if it was a mistake, and you meant these things are what make it "especially" bad for the female. If you didn't make a mistake, then why did you avoid the question? So by this, her terrible outcome would be that she isn't married...? Why is that terribe exactly?
          "Maybe" a bastard child? Should used a form of birth control, and even then she can put the child up for adoption or abort it if she thinks it's such a burden. Not only that, she will also be payed for having the chil by benefits.
          A bad reputation? How so? Are you implying that he will just go around saying "She's a whore, she's a whore", yeah, that sounds like something a married man that has cheated would do when he wants to keep their get together quiet...You were the one saying "I" don't know people, then say crap like that? Irony.
          A lot of waiting around? Be more specific, waiting around for what?
          Hurt feelings? So his feelings wouldn't be hurt? He has more to lose than she does.

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          • thinkingaboutit
            11 years ago

            hahhahahaha your/our lives are not enigmas. we all have stories. I can tell by the things you say and way you think, you have not experienced much of anything. only muck.

            look at all the shit you're writing?! you already know I'm not going to read it. you expect me to believe you have a life?

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            • [Old Memory]
              11 years ago

              Don't step up if you can't stand up very long. You're nothing but a child, and this comment shows it.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            11 years ago

            ItDuz I do agree with you.

            But you seem to have taken it the wrong direction on what I was trying to say, I'm not always the best at explaining things. But like I said before I know when a guy is nice, that doesn't always mean that he likes you anymore than a friend or whatever. I didn't misundertand anything here. Why can't I just be curious? He's a very nice guy and I'm glad I have a nice co-worker like him. But there is always the possibility too, not say he does have a crush on me.

            Also you have to agree that at times you do go overboard with your comments.

            I myself have seen quite a bit of men do the same things as women. I'm rather straight forward and trust me I've run into plenty of guys who have over thought comments that I've made when I'm just blunt and honest I didn't mean it the way they thought I ment it.

            P.S.: You actually know me on here somewhat, I use to be on here a lot more and I have most certainly agreed on most of your comments and I'm sure you don't disagree on most of my opinions.

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            • [Old Memory]
              11 years ago

              Ok. You are being respectful, so I will be in return.

              I agree, there is a possibility he does have a crush on you, and I think if you want to know, you should ask, but be aware of the things that can, and most likely will follow up next.
              My point was that just because someone is nice does not mean they have a desire to be with the person they're being nice to. I may have sounded harsh in my original comment, it's just that I see these things quite often on here.

              Sometimes, yes, I very much do. I do believe that most of the times I don't, and that sometimes my negative comments are deserving to people, this may not be one of those times, though.

              I agree that men do this aswell.

              If it means anything, I apologize. I was wrong to make a negative comment as such.

              I am curious as to who you are. Would you be able to tell me? Understandable if not.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    I have had this problem before, except for, in my case, the married man tried to make actual physical contact with me. I asked to be removed from the site and never have to go back again during those hours.

    I'm not saying that you should do that, I had the option. Just put it out of your mind and treat him the way you would normally treat a co-worker. If he tries anything unusual, tell him that you're not interested and that you will not put up with that kind of behavior.

    Or maybe, he is like my husband. My husband is a very friendly guy, I have 100% faith in his faithfulness but he treats everyone very kindly, male or female. It's easy to get the wrong idea about him, and this may be the case for your co-worker, so assume the best unless he gives you a reason to believe otherwise.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    This sounds like you have a crush on him, not the otherway around. Just because "you" have these feelings does not mean he shares them.

    Females seem to have this whole idea that if a guy is nice to them, he wants to fuck her, and it's just irritating.

    He most likely does not want this, nor has a crush on you. Just because he's nice to you doesn't mean he wants you.

    Ladies, stop getting this whole mentality that anyone that makes contact with you wants you, you're not some super-desired species, you're not.

    You make it sound like guys only be nice to people if they want to have sex with you, which is far from the truth.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Since when did I say he for sure has a crush on me? I was just curious on if anybody has had this happen to them. And it obviously is true.

      Also I know that guys can just be nice, I don't think when a guy is nice he has a crush on me. Someone is angry.

      Like I said up there I can careless if anything will happen. I don't want anything to happen between us two.

      Some reason it normally happens the other way around to me. When I'm nice to a guy he always seems to think I like him more than I do. So don't just blame women, ItDuz!

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        11 years ago

        Also I never did say I didn't have a crush on him, I know I have a small crush on him. But I really don't think much of it. It'll go away, NOTHING is going to happen.

        You always act as though that "most" women are stupid or something.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        You said he might have a crush on you simply because he is nice to you, so the comment still stands. Curious if what happened to them? That a guy was nice to them?...My point still stands.

        No? You only indicate he is being nice, and somhow that is an indication of him possibly having a crush on you? No, not angry, just fed up. Females do this too much, it's stupid.

        No doubt men do this aswell, but women do this far more. A guy isn't going to think "she wants me" if she shakes his hand like a lot of women do on here.

        And you never said you did have a crush on him.

        Well "most" women I encounter are stupid when it comes to debating and deductive reasoning. Do I think women are stupid? No.

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        • KeddersPrincess
          11 years ago

          I just got finished watching "The Little Vampire" the other day, and I was curious about what he looked like now. And then I saw him, and I just noticed how similar he and the picture of you in the profile look. ItDuz, you look like The Little Vampire all grown up.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          I do agree with you that there are quite a few women that take things like that too far. Men never really think much of things at times, but there are still men who do it. I've just had trouble with my guy friends, because I can be rather nice and next thing you know they thought I liked them when I can't help be nice and polite.

          But all I was trying to do was put a small story up and make it sound like he might possibly have a crush on me, thats why I said my instincts might be wrong. I'm not going to think much about it like I said, just do my job. I was just curious. And this shit has happened before, but it's the dumbasses it happens to most.

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  • [email protected]
    11 years ago

    If I ever found out a married man had a crush on me,I'd beat the shit out of him and set his ass on fire!

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