I built myself a life of grandeur

10 Comments

This isn't a change of identity, I was always a grandiose person, but something snapped forcing me to have an ultrasimple success in a grandeur way. Do you see with my fancy things and fancy lifestyle it doesn't get all taken away until I'm deceased? Persistence in annoying and mean, cruel things, the truth is that makes you successful, the things that get rejected I will persist without obstacles, that's why I have bigger fish to fry.
Everything else is complete nonsense.

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Comments ( 10 )
  • [Old Memory]
    2 years ago

    I think it might be worth exploring why you feel inclined and safe crafting these coping mechanisms. It's not necessarily bad, but you don't want to build these mental constructs and rely on them too heavily. It's not impossible for someone to say something that makes us think, and if our entire person is built on things we can't handle being challenged then you're gonna have a bad time

    I watched a Buddhist priest or something talk about dependency and its harm. He said if you need a chemical to be okay then you are not okay. The chemicals could be anything, weed (struggling with this right now), food, or even things like dopamine. Narcissists for example derive much of their pleasure from their brains releasing chemicals when they perform their shenanigans.

    I'm not saying you're a narcissist, I just want to show you that it is possible to have a fix in this way. I think it's possible your desire for acceptance stems from something else in your life, and that maybe you're creating scenarios that allows for self fulfilling prophecies. It's possible your subconscious could be trying to help you develop by doing this.

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    • normal-rebellious
      2 years ago

      Coping mechanisms, pfft! It's not a sickness, therefore it's good to have an ability. Why should I have your acceptance? I have everything I need right here: a study from Anthony Robbins, nah! What's the point? I'd rather be treated like a normal person than a sick person, I promise you that this stuff is a rejected piece of junk, I'm not doing it anymore, this believing in myself.

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      • [Old Memory]
        2 years ago

        I'm not trying to accept you, your posts seem to come from a place of hurting. I'm trying to understand as it seems similar ish to stuff I've experienced

        I'm not saying having faith itself is sick, I can see how it can be productive. What's not good is answering a crisis with a red herring.

        But maybe you can tell me more about what's going on?

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        • normal-rebellious
          2 years ago

          Faith? Yeah, faith! Doing what you want means to never see your parents again, as I achieve the results I want if I'm free and solo, but then I wasn't hurt at the time, what's going on is always telling me what to do when I should finally get my way and for the next 50 years I won't have anyone there to tell me what to do, success means I can do what I want!

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          • [Old Memory]
            2 years ago

            You're leaping too fast for me. Doing what you want means you take responsibility/ accountability for yourself. If you want to have control over your life you have to find a way to get that.

            What's going on with people telling you what to do?

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            • normal-rebellious
              2 years ago

              It's with my parents, especially my mother, success is lip service to her, I tried to stay at her house till sunset because of my puritanical religion of the Sabbath day, tried to make her respect my religion, that's not going down very well because Christianity always fails at having its authority or freedom respected, but I'm the average Australian guy living with a housemate who chooses a Christianity in honour of his family, a true blue Aussie who will do anything to fight for his country even at the expense of coronavirus and the Aussie blokes call me an asshole, that's not a misprint, they say asshole rather than arsehole and I'm not getting in the shit, for getting the results I want there isn't one thing you can do about it, that's what's going on.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    2 years ago

    well lets hope nobody takes away your fryin pan then hans

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    • normal-rebellious
      2 years ago

      Ha har har, that's funny, and my decisions, doing what I want is success, it's not other people's rules I should do, success is doing what you want, but I'm glad nobody's going to take the things away from me, do you see that we're getting precisely the survival mechanisms we want?!

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      • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
        2 years ago

        the rollin stones said it long ago

        you cant always get what you want

        but if you try sometimes you just might find

        you get what you need

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        • normal-rebellious
          2 years ago

          Yeah, it's true.
          I will get what I need.
          I need to have no boss and to get things done in the house and to be told how to make life easy.
          If life is suffering I'll end it, it ends not by getting what I want but by talking to a therapist.

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