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I am really mean in my head and I keep imagining my family having sex with me and is really awful and I hate it so much. It is so disgusting and fucked up. And there is always a voice telling me to kill myself, to hurt people, to have a breakdown and yell at everyone. I really can't control my thoughts. I don't know if I'm a bad person or I just have some mental problems
It's normal to have intrusive thoughts, but not hearing voice telling you to k yourself that sounds like schizophrenia
Unfortunately, intrusive thoughts can be really disturbing and also really hard to get away from. They're one of the most normal things that exist, as unpleasant as they are. You're not a bad person for having them, nor does it mean you have mental problems. I've actually heard a long time ago that they are the brain's way of testing your reaction to random wild and inappropriate thoughts and keeping "in check", which makes sense if that's true. Either way, it's a very normal occurrence that even healthy brains experience.
As someone who struggles with negative thinking, I've started just telling myself "these thoughts are not welcome" and immediately redirecting to something positive or distracting myself if need be. I know it sounds overly simplistic and it definitely isn't easy or immediate, but the more I do it (and I've had to do it over and over and have still caught myself slipping up), the better I get, and I'm hoping it'll eventually turn into habit. I think this could also be good for bothersome intrusive thoughts as well. It won't prevent them from ever coming to mind, but will help control how much thought you give them and how much they affect you. I actually just picked up a book called "Rule Your Day" by Joel Osteen (it's Christian, so maybe not everyone's cup of tea) that I'm only a few pages into so far, that talks about ruling your thoughts like this, too.
I have intrusive thoughts all the time. I’ve just learned to ignore them. I’m not interested in acting on them in the slightest. But sometimes they do stop me in my tracks.
Not a bad person. A bad person is not distressed by bad thoughts.
Those are intrusive thoughts. See a doctor and talk to them about this if you feel it will lead to action or is causing a lot of distress.