I can't stop negative daydreams

Ever since I can remember I've would daydream for hours before I went to bed. The only difference is in the beginning I had control. I could make up people or use someone I really knew. I could make it good or bad. And I was okay with that.

As life went on, tragedies really happened (I escaped a guy who wanted it without my permission, my mom passed, my family divided several times several ways, my daughter was in the nicu, 2 car wrecks one when I was 18 and not driving, and the other back in January with my daughter in the car me driving, and most recently my father passing, plus I went to jail for falling in love with the wrong guy several years ago and followed his path)

That said, it has made me grow into a very fearful person. The daydreams feel more like 4D visions stuck on repeat mode. I'll try everything smoking, breathing exercises, counting in my head which I never make past 20, I've tried just writing it down. I been talking more and more to my husband about it. I know my trigger alone laying down by myself which when you work opposite shifts good luck taking that trigger away. I know it's not normal.

What I want to know is it normal for me to not want to find out why I'm like this. I know, like I feel it constantly there is a deep dark family secret and discovering it could change my perspective on one's gone already. I know my parents were not perfect, but why do I fear knowing!

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Comments ( 5 )
  • riffraffy

    2mg of Melatonin will fix that right up. Try to refrain from bright lights before bed (your phone or computer for example).

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  • Anewbis

    Always question the past. Hell, always question the future.

    Without questioning we are nothing.

    Question everything.
    Especially your own sanity...

    ...daily.

    It's the only way to be sure. Once you stop questioning your own sanity, it's pretty much a given that you've lost yours.

    'luck

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  • Gretchen12186

    My husband keeps telling me that I need a counselor that whatever is buried deep is trying to come out in an odd manner. As for medicine it's hard to decide if I should. I've tried lookin up to see if anyone has bad visions of things that more than likely won't happen and is about loved ones dying or seriously injured but I couldn't really find about the same thing so thinking medicine couldn't happen until a professional was 100% sure what this condition is if it's even one.

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  • Ellenna

    It seems to have an important choice to make: continue as you are or try and find out whether or not your feelings about your past are based in reality.

    Some counselling just to make that decision would be a good idea.

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  • sandnigga

    Whats past is in the past.

    You could slap yourself and tell yourself "everything is fine"

    It's self-discipline. You gotta get control of yourself though.

    Nothing bad is happening right now right? See everything is fine.

    Gotta relax your mind.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A08dscNRFDk

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