I don’t know what to do

23 Comments

I'm a 24 y/o living with my mom (yeah i know) thats pretty bad but lately I've been feeling depressed for a while now and when the new year came I had this mentality of feeling refreshed and hopeful for the future and I started working out 3x a day and sometimes ill drop to once or twice a day if I was too sore to work out.

I was eating one meal a day and I was losing a lot of weight to the point where I was noticing a big difference after almost 2 weeks.

but then my mom let my cousin move in and she took up 3 FUCKING ROOMS IN THE BASEMENT (including my workout room) so i couldn't work out or anything for the past 2 months. i'm picking up weight so much now i looked at myself in the mirror and notice i had picked up all the weight i lost in the beginning of the year like it was all for nothing!!!! im feeling fucking depressed!!

I completely lost that positive mentality i had at the start of the year and i honestly did want to better myself and now i feel lost and hopeless.

i have been told i looked ugly all my life and including by friends and family and i just laughed it off and kept a smile on my face but that shit really hurt.

i can't leave my house because i have social anxiety so thats why i don't go to the gym or anything.

i had dreams i wanted to accomplish before i reached the age of 25 but it looks like thats no happening

i wasted so much time in my life just laying in bed being depressed and fantasizing of being someone one day and time is something you can't get back

the older i get the more intense my anxieties and depression get its like i have a fear of getting old

my cousin literally took over my workout room and acts too fucking good to even talk to me at all she goes to the gym all the time and acts like a snob to me and shes family so theres nothing i can do.

Idk i don't want to ask for professional help i feel too embarrassed and ashamed

i just feel i'm at the end of my rope.

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Comments ( 23 )

IrishPotato

4 years ago

Therapist. Go.

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CountessDouche

4 years ago

I'm really sorry about your situation & I know it's hard not to let things like that majorly set you back, but you can motivate yourself again.

You need to ditch your "all or nothing" attitude towards weight loss. Just because you have a setback or a fuckup does not mean that you should just give up. That stuff will happen along the way; its inevitable.

Just because you've lost your workout space doesn't mean there's nothing you can do.

First of all, 90% of weightloss is just diet & nothing more. You can still lose weight just by focusing on healthy eating at a caloric deficit. I don't personally think the 1 meal a day route is particularly healthy, but that might be what works for you. I find that if you do some research, pay attention to caloric intake & get an idea of what your TDEE is, that you can get creative & cook good, healthy meals that are veggie heavy & low in calories. All it takes is cutting around 500 cals a day to lose 1 lb a week. Reddit "lose it" is a really great resource.

As for exercise, not having a gym does NOT mean that you are out of options. For cardio- get outside! Swimming, walking, jogging, bike riding are ALL great & spending time outside will probably help a TON with your mood because you'll be away from your frustrating home situation. As for strength training- there are tons & tons of weightlifting exercises you can do using your own body weight as resistance l, no equipment needed. Check out reddit "body weight fitness" for some good exercise plans.

You can still do this. I know you're sad & incredibly frustrated by your situation & the setbacks you've had- anyone would be. Giving up is easy, but you will thank yourself every day once you decide to take control of your situation. You'll feel good. You'll feel proud of yourself for not giving up, as you should be.

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[Old Memory]

4 years ago

You need to understand and prepare for broken bridges along your path.. You can be unwell and have a mentality of doing things to better yourself but as soon as there is a broken bridge (your cousin) you crumble and fall. You need to put yourself back in the mindset you had when you were loosing weight, but this time you need to tell yourself that you will be tested and you will have a lot of unexpected broken bridges that you will have to deal with and don't let it bring you down! Get angry at it, use that anger to force yourself out in the world.

Anxiety is like the boss monsters in video games. You defeat one just to have another one to fight down that path. You treat anxiety like silent hill. When everything changes and the monsters come out, you just keep fighting to you win. Yes you will get knocked down, but they will still be there so you may as well keep fighting.

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- Thisisnotmyrealname
  
  4 years ago
  
  and i wanted to lose weight fast and i was doing it until this bitch moved in and now i got nothing to do and im going crazy!!
  
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  - obeach
    
    4 years ago
    
    lmfao you sound likem now
    
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    4 years ago
    
    You can't find somewhere else to exercise? Maybe even using your own weight, like jogging on the spot, situps, pushups, walk/jog around your block, so on.
    
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- Thisisnotmyrealname
  
  4 years ago
  
  It's so hard to get back in that mindset especially since i lost my workout room and i literally have no hope what so ever i just wanted to lose weight and be a better me by the summer time so i can get out in the world without people judging me
  
  now it looks like im gonna be staying indoors all summer while everyone else is out enjoying life.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    4 years ago
    
    I'm not having a go at you but you seem to always have excuses for your problems. Instead of thinking like "everything sucks, lifes bad, my cousin did this or that" or just thinking of the bad things, think of what you can do. Maybe if you have bad social anxiety try just walking a few houses down your street, then slowely work your way up to walking further and further. Pick quiet times to do this if you want, but I suggest you start forcing yourself to mingle with people. Dont use your weight as an excuse not to be seen in public because the way you are going there is going to be excuse after excuse and you will never get nothing done. You need to shut your mind up and stop thinking "what if" all the time. You need to let go.
    
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Asatchi

4 years ago

Hi sorry you feel so sad. Do you work? Maybe it's time to branch out and make your own life? You can't live at home forever. Is that a possibility that you can work towards? Don't ever be ashamed to ask for professional help. It's worth it. Life is difficult all alone. We need the support of others. Try not to listen to the negative thoughts and don't internalise the shit others try to put on you. You're so young. I'm more than twice your age. You have your whole life ahead of you. It's never too late to change. I found your age so difficult because youre at a time when you're trying to create some independence and your own life and it's tough out there. But don't give up. It gets better. I promise you that.

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- Thisisnotmyrealname
  
  4 years ago
  
  I did branch out so many times since i was 18 but life just got the best of me every single time i don't know what to do.
  
  I had dreams i wanted to achieve before i reached the age of 25 but how am i suppose do that with this mindset? i was so hopefull at the beginning of the year.
  
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  - Asatchi
    
    4 years ago
    
    Hey, dude the only way to do anything in this life is keep trying. You have to just get up again and try. Failure is part of life. It's OK. We learn by our mistakes. 25 is so young. You still have so much time. It doesn't matter if your dreams haven't come true yet. For most people life doesn't pan out how we had hoped but it's all good. You can do it. My dreams didn't come true either but I found a way to feel OK with where I am at. Try to look for things you're grateful for every day. Go for a walk and just appreciate the beauty of nature. It's the small things that count. You'll get there. 😊
    
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    - obeach
      
      4 years ago
      
      love your mndset
      
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RoseIsabella

4 years ago

First off I want to offer my most sincere, and deep condolences with regard to the issue of your cousin moving in to your household, and taking over your workout room. I have a room in my house that would make a lovely exercise room, but it's full of boxes that belong to my folks, and I. The additional Florida room that was added to this house is basically just storage which really bums me out!

I can also relate to your struggle with social anxiety. I joined a gym in the beginning of the year, but haven't really went in to work out which is a fact of which I am not proud. I will say that one really good thing about the gym I chose to join is that it's open 24 hours so that I can go in the middle of the night, or the wee hours of the morning when no one is around. I do really miss the gym I used to belong to in Las Vegas, because it had a swimming pool, and the place I joined here doesn't have a pool which of course really bums me out a lot. I actually really love swimming, especially in a pool at a good gym, it's just me, and the water, and I hate the bright sunlight of summertime!

Please know that I truly hope, and pray for the best for your in your struggle for self improvement, but I do have two areas of concern. I'm concerned that you might have an eating disorder, and an addiction to exercise.

I certainly hope that the situation with your cousin improves!

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- [Old Memory]
  
  4 years ago
  
  I'm like you. I walk my dogs at night 9pm 10pm, even in winter. Get my exerciser in at night. I love it, its quiet, no one around, have the beach to myself. I walk my dogs along the beach then run back along the beach on my way home. Gets the old ticker pumping
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    4 years ago
    
    That sounds lovely, what kind of dogs do you have?
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      4 years ago
      
      I have 2, both are kelpie x Labrador. but I really mean pure lab with pure kelpie. Not how some say this crossed with that but really its 4 different types :)
      
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- Thisisnotmyrealname
  
  4 years ago
  
  Thank you so much
  
  she literally piled everything in one room for storage with my treadmill, weight bench, and weights and i live in a small town in the middle of nowhere with no gym so i can't join a 24-hour gym :(
  i have such a negative mentality right now
  
  how am i suppose to go after my dreams when i don't even feel comfortable in my own skin? the reason i wanted to lose weight was so i can feel confident
  
  and i wanted to at least reach my dreams before i turned 25
  
  i may have an eating disorder because i am stress eating so much right now. and i was starting to love working out.
  
  i use to listen to motivational speeches and workout for hours and the high i got after a workout was the best feeling ever.
  
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  - obeach
    
    4 years ago
    
    you can reach it before 25, however if you dont make it by then you cant get angry because your body type can just be that way
    
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    - obeach
      
      4 years ago
      
      also, you can't want to achieve a goal let alone a dream and put a time stamp on it. Yo have to have faith. however long that may be for.
      
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    4 years ago
    
    Is there a way that the can talk to your mother about all of this mess. It would be much better if your cousin could rent a storage space.
    
    Also, what about the gym that she joined? It can't be that far away if she's driving there all the time.
    
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Bratz

4 years ago

The answer is simple

You need to kill your cousin

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brutus

4 years ago

Take antidepressants plus benzos.

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- Thisisnotmyrealname
  
  4 years ago
  
  nah ill get even more depressed with that.
  
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I don’t know what to do