I don’t think i’ll miss my dad when he passes

My entire life my father has been egotistical, narcisstic, has anger issues and is low-key racist and sexist. He rarely admits to his faults and has little to no patience. He and my mom came to visit recently and I can’t say I was too happy to see him... as a matter of fact, i’m NEVER happy to see him. Right away as I pick him up he has to be control of the situation and tells us what we’re doing and to do it immediately. We went to go get my oil changed and when it was taking too long he started yelling at the manager instead of asking politely what was going on. We got into a shouting match afterwards and the next day we got into a car accident because he was too impatient to take a u turn up ahead and instead cut across three lanes, I nearly got crushed on my side of the car.

Was he physically abuse? No. Was he a horrible father? No, but he’s still an asshole and I feel like my entire life whenever he gets frustrated over one minuscule thing that goes wrong he’ll go on and on about it and do everything to belittle me. When I was younger I used to internalize it but now I just bark back and he usually shuts down. I just feel like he’s Toxic and I can’t feel any real love for him.