I don't keep in touch

I think it's neat you've already recognized that you have a fear of rejection that makes you do this.

I too struggle to put any effort to keep in touch with people, but if they make the effort, I don't necessarily push them away. Which means I never take days to respond to a text. (Alas, I rarely or never initiate) In my case the fear was that I might become this delusional possessive/obsessive person that would never let someone go no matter what, therefore losing my rationality and groundedness. And guess what? Turns out I could still be level headed no matter how much I emotionally invested myself in someone.

Give yourself some credit. Meet people until you can make a friend who's so caring and genuine that being rejected becomes an impossibility. In due time you may realize that your fear of rejection was much greater than what would happen to you if you were actually rejected.

Social inertia. The longer you go without social interaction, the harder and more effort any social interaction will take. You forget how nice and energizing it feels to have a conversation with someone. Maybe you're even scared.

Force yourself to get the ball rolling again. You'll be glad you did.

I know how you feel. I have no problem making friends but they NEVER last. Like I go on thinking it's my fault and I screwed it up somehow. But then I realize friendship is a 2 way street and if they wanted to hang out they would've asked me at least once. My siblings get pissed off that I'm never around, but hey why the f is it my fault. You're my big sister it should be on YOU. Sorry I'm venting a little.

So I literally have 1 "good" friend that I've had for many years... but we're related and that's the only reason we are still friends. Every other friend I've ever had in my entire life is no longer there. It gets frustrating, but at least knowing that I asked my friends to hang out (several times..) and it never happened...I know for sure it was their fault. You don't want to end up like me, so just make the effort while you still have friends.

Is there a question here somewhere?

I always feel like I'm bothering people if I don't have anything major to talk about. I know that's probably wrong but I can't get over it. So, yeah, I just stay quiet most of the time.

I have a side of myself that's like that.

Is this serious? I mean, it is very strange how you don't see your bf in months and still have no desire to answer his text. Are u sure you're still in a relationship? xD