I don't think like a normal person
I don't know how to really socialize, im okay with being in groups, but it's hard for me to be a part of a conversation with multiple people. I'm fine with my immediate family, we can talk and discuss for hours. But when it's people at school and such, it's like I shut down and observe everything. I think I have a touch of social anxiety, but that's not all that I'm trying to explain.
Whenever I'm in public social situations, I become quiet and think. I talk more with myself in my head than with people it seems. I see everything around me and I just analyze EVERYTHING... for example if someone around me is talking some sort of shit, all I can think about is why they would be talking horribly about someone else,,, are they Insecure with themselves? are they trying to fill their own ego? Or what did this person do to deserve so much hate from this person?
I tend to think about the psychology of human interactions more than I actually take part in the conversations.
I think I'm really weird sometimes. I know im not a weird person, I'm mysterious maybe, because I dont like letting people into my life, I'm quiet and I'm shy. I always have walls up.
Another thing is I hate pointless conversations and small talk. It has no value and it has no benefit to myself or the other person. I also hate complaining. Like the weather,, I live in a very cold place in the winter time and a very hot place in summer time. People just never seem to be able to be happy, and everyday I'll hear someone talking about how much they hate the cold, letting negativity leech out from themselves and bring the vibe down of the room. I just irks me. What I love is deep, meaningful conversations, it doesn't always have to be philosophical topics, it could be what their favourite thing to do is. I love hearing about others and their life, good or bad.
I am very in touch with myself I think. I know what I want and don't want. If I want sex, I find sex. If I want fun, I go to a party and get wasted or I go an adventure with myself or some friends. I don't waste any time with useless things, because I always think about how we only live once, and just because your breathing doesn't mean you're alive.
Something I never do is judge a person on how they look, talk, or act. What I will judge a person on though is how they treat others.
I love music, I love art, I love science, I love psychology, I love philosophy, I love everything that makes me happy.
It just bothers me on how I act in social situations sometimes, how I analyze everything and become an observer. Am I odd for this?