I don't think like a normal person

I don't know how to really socialize, im okay with being in groups, but it's hard for me to be a part of a conversation with multiple people. I'm fine with my immediate family, we can talk and discuss for hours. But when it's people at school and such, it's like I shut down and observe everything. I think I have a touch of social anxiety, but that's not all that I'm trying to explain.
Whenever I'm in public social situations, I become quiet and think. I talk more with myself in my head than with people it seems. I see everything around me and I just analyze EVERYTHING... for example if someone around me is talking some sort of shit, all I can think about is why they would be talking horribly about someone else,,, are they Insecure with themselves? are they trying to fill their own ego? Or what did this person do to deserve so much hate from this person?
I tend to think about the psychology of human interactions more than I actually take part in the conversations.
I think I'm really weird sometimes. I know im not a weird person, I'm mysterious maybe, because I dont like letting people into my life, I'm quiet and I'm shy. I always have walls up.

Another thing is I hate pointless conversations and small talk. It has no value and it has no benefit to myself or the other person. I also hate complaining. Like the weather,, I live in a very cold place in the winter time and a very hot place in summer time. People just never seem to be able to be happy, and everyday I'll hear someone talking about how much they hate the cold, letting negativity leech out from themselves and bring the vibe down of the room. I just irks me. What I love is deep, meaningful conversations, it doesn't always have to be philosophical topics, it could be what their favourite thing to do is. I love hearing about others and their life, good or bad.

I am very in touch with myself I think. I know what I want and don't want. If I want sex, I find sex. If I want fun, I go to a party and get wasted or I go an adventure with myself or some friends. I don't waste any time with useless things, because I always think about how we only live once, and just because your breathing doesn't mean you're alive.
Something I never do is judge a person on how they look, talk, or act. What I will judge a person on though is how they treat others.
I love music, I love art, I love science, I love psychology, I love philosophy, I love everything that makes me happy.
It just bothers me on how I act in social situations sometimes, how I analyze everything and become an observer. Am I odd for this?

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 7 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Inkmaster

    Perhaps you have autism.

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  • ellnell

    I am the same. I don't know if it's due to my aspergers, general introversion or social anxiety but I can't talk in groups. I always either wait too long with saying something or cut someone else off because I can't tell when it's my turn to speak, plus I get tired quickly from being surronded by constantly talking people. I think is probably mostly due to my social anxiety. I go to CBT for it and many of the practices are learning how to small talk with other people and actually how to enter a group conversation. I analyze everything in detail in my head so i'm a very quiet person. I overanalyze the tiniest of things and end up not saying them out loud, I notice immadiately if someone is acting different with me and feel hurt by it. It's frustrating but i've come to accept that I will never enjoy groups of people. I am only taking CBT in order to get rid of the anxiety that causes the overanalyzing everything.
    I don't have groups of friends. I see all my friends one on one and my friends do not know each other, that way there's never any reason to hang out in a group. My exes has been introverted and had small social circles or like me friends spread out here and there and preferred one on one.
    I hate small talk also, don't understand it, yet I find it incredibly hard to relate to and open up to anyone so any social interaction usually only consists of small talk and it drives me insane. I have 2 people in my life currently that I have deep, meaningful conversations with one is the guy i'm seeing and the other one of my friends.
    And I also am very in touch with myself. I have goals and know exactly what I want with my life and i'm always working to achieve my goals. I know exactly how to get what I want at all times. It's just anxiety, and at least for me, a disinterest in people unless we connect on a deeper level and also not being able to cope with many people at once for too long at a time.
    It's very normal to feel that way though. Many people are introverted or socially anxious or both. You just gotta find what works best for you and stick to it. Don't try to copy extroverts if you're not one.

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  • Nikclaire

    I don't know. I am very much like what you described and I consider myself to be odd. Most people seem diff from me so I guess I lean towards is not normal. Everyone seems content to be superficial in conversations. I suck at small talk and mostly listen too.

    I think you hit the nail on the head when it comes to nasty people. They have low self esteem, hate themselves and will do basically anything to fit in and boost their own ego, all so they don't have to actually look at themselves.

    Pray for them.

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    • I honestly really disagree with the second part. Some people actually like to be nasty and cruel. It's not to fit in sometimes. It's just their nature. I work with someone like this and there's no hope for the guy, but he sure as hell loves violence and is your basic sarcastic asshole.

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  • Shiki

    You are not, I am the same.
    Except for the sex parts and such :II
    But I am in the same with socials and get distracted.

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