I don't want friends because i'm angry and confused

I don't want friends because in the past I've noticed that I will do out of character things to try and fit in, and also there's been points in life where my friends stab me in the back. I think that it's just easier to not have friends, especially as now I am suspicious of people and I'm holding onto grudges with my old "friends". I'd rather be lonely than have company. Is this normal?