I don't want my boyfriend to know i'm pooping. what can i do?

Okay, so this is a really embarrassing problem, but a big problem. I have Parcopresis, or a social anxiety about defecating. It bothers me especially when my boyfriend is around. I know that he knows I poop(because everyone does), but I have this irrational fear that he's going to think I'm gross and unfeminine for doing so.
THis is really affecting my life because I literally cannot use the bathroom at his home, or when he is around. Even if I went to try, nothing would come out. It's a like a psychologically imposed constipation.

As a female, I feel that women have been socialized by our society to be "pretty" and "delicate" and "clean" and "pure". This makes it hard to be comfortable doing something that is often loud, foul, and smelly. I need help, because he and I are supposed to be going to CA for a week, and I can't go a week without pooping. What can I do? Is it normal to feel this way?

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Based on 3272 votes (2069 yes)
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Comments ( 59 )
  • MercedesBenz

    They have this stuff called PooPourri. You spray it in the bowl before you go and no one can smell it. Also, try turning on the faucet or flushing while going to drown out the sound.

    But really, you need to face this fear. Human beings are living organisms. You intake, thus you have output. Everyone has to. It's life.

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    • pcryan23

      lol PooPourri, I can just imagine these primed up preppy ass bitches spraying that stuff in the bathroom and pretending that they don't poop at all. God that is absolutely ridiculous.

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      • FromTheSouthWeirdGuy

        I dont see anything wrong with it

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  • CountryRoads

    Go before you take a shower. Turn on the shower, poop, then afterwards flush the toilet so he thinks you just peed after you showered. I use this technique all the time.

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  • BoredGuy

    Moderation is best.

    Don't leave the door open, but go poop!

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  • Heh?

    If your boyfriend has any respectability, he will accept your need to poop as perfectly natural and healthy, and thus will not bother labeling it as "gross and unfeminine."

    Think of pooping with him nearby as a test of his merit.

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  • q.uarter

    Well... you might get married one day, and then the jig is up!
    But seriously I don't even want my parents to know about it, I'm so self-concious :P but the shower thing suggested above it one I myself have used before (lol I LOVE finding out that people I don't even know do exactly the same thing as I do) and also I put toilet paper in the bowl so there is no sound :| because that to me is the worst part.

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  • TheJackel

    Overcome this disorder of yours so you can live a happy life. It's all in your head. Move on and be happy. I wish you the best ( won't be easy)

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  • Rexvolt

    Face your fears.
    Watch 2 girls 1 cup.

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    • chewy

      2 girls 1 cup is so nasty

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      • Slave2Satan

        lol, i was just about to make a comment saying "After watching 2 girls 1 cup, i will never see a women as pure again" Guess you dirty minded lot beat me to it though.

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    • Strageringcrazy

      That is the most sick thing I've ever seen. Guess its my fault for having my 11 yr old daughter type in her problems and fears with her bowel movements. To think someone can't even come online to get advice without watching a porn and two nasty b****s eating a cup of human feces. Not one warning to you before a innocent child clicks the link to get information without porn.

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      • Diaperboy69

        This is not the place to come to for medical advice idiot. In fact, this topic is highly inappropriate for any social media site which this is. It is foolish for anyone of any age to think that credible advice or information is available anywhere other than in a physician's office. Get a clue!

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    • gentleone

      Talk about it with him.

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  • Gardenia

    You know what I'd do?
    I'd be like... Baby I'm gonna shower. Then poo. Hahaha! With the water on, then hop in the shower afterwards.
    He'd think I was in the shower, and couldn't hear cus of the shower water.
    Haha!! I know what you mean:)

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  • xino00

    lol!

    exactly, women have been socialised as being pretty, nice and clean.

    I wouldn't imagine a girl farting, because I've never had.

    Like TheJackel said, it's all in your head.
    You need to let it go.

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  • mluker

    Get over it. Guys dont care. We care so little that we could watch u take a dump and not be grossed out. Your just thinking of how u would react. Your forgetting that guys love sick nasty things. It's all good. Take a huge dump with the door open. He'll respect it, and you'll feel better- in more ways than one. Ha ha. Lol

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  • ephewe

    All you filthy poop-girls make me nauseous just thinking about you. You better hope your boyfriend doesn't find out about your bomb-dropping or even the fact that you are so obsessed with your own poop. If he finds out, he'll never be able to touch you again without smelling turds and feeling contaminated by you. My advice is to hide your problem for as long as you can. Eat lots of cheese (like calzones and pizza) and drink only soda. That way at least you won't gross anyone out with your crustiness.

    If you find yourself in a position where you are with your boyfriend and can't hold it, this is what you do: open up your purse and give him all the money you have. Tell him to go out and buy something nice for himself and to also go find a slutty girl who isn't covered in feces. That way he can get busy with the clean girl and also buy a new Xbox game or whatever. By the time he comes back, he won't care that you're a stinky poop-girl. If he starts to care again, go to ATM and take out more money. I hope this advice helps.

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    • idonotasosiatewithnigers

      everyone poops you fucking retard

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  • pcryan23

    My suggestion ladies, is that you get the hell over this ASAP. My guy friends and all the dudes I have known in my life, don't give a damn if you're pooping or not. I had this ridiculous problem with several gf's of mine, they would just hold it in, get cramped act grouchy and irritated when all they need to do is just GO TO THE DAMN BATHROOM! for those of you who have said that you don't want to go to the bathroom and you are spending weeks with your boyfriends. There is no excuse other than you are just being ridiculously childish, you realize that the longer you hold that bacteria in your rectum you ESPECIALLY for a week you GREATLY increase your risk for colon cancer? It is horrible for your body to hold in crap and bile like that and if you do hold it for that long you can also risk causing impacted bowels so GET THE HELL OVER IT.

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  • ladymantoloveyoulongtime

    dont poop ever again. problem solved.

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  • la_uva_mojada

    you should take comfort in knowing he poops just like you

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    • D785

      Yeah but that's different though

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  • HowardCrane

    Has someone not mentioned to this poor girl that her boyfriend doesn't know that she poops?
    In the same way you don't know your grandmother has walls in her house because they're so common.

    When we have anxieties and phobias around a certain issue we think about it constantly, while the people without them never think about them. I'm sure, unless she mentioned this phobia to her boyfriend, he's NEVER put her and pooping together in the one thought.

    I also suggest that if you want to over-come this phobia relatively easy, you aught to re-arrange your diet to give you severe bowl problems. Then by time you come back around to health, you'll just be glad you can function normally.

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  • Carry a boombox with you at all times and when in the poddy play marching music very loud.

    Nothing covers the sound like Sousa.

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  • looneytunes

    Something you'll have to get over, and probably will after being with your boyfriend for awhile. It's something that bothers me too and I've been with my man over two years. He teases me about it, and sometimes tries to come into the bathroom while I'm pooping and I get mad. One of these days I'm gonna drop a horrid bomb and claim to be out of toilet paper. That'll fix his wagon!

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  • vchen87

    he was completely understanding and even felt bad that my anxiety was causing me so much discomfort. In the beginning, I would ask him to do something on his own for a bit like go on the patio to smoke or read a book or watch tv while i would run the shower and use the toilet. At the time I still didnt like the idea of him thinking about or knowing that I was using the bathroom while he was outside, but it helped when he assured me that he would be doing something that would completely distract him. So we started a routine where I'd tell him I needed to use the bathroom and ask for him to distract himself. Now I'm ok so long as there's a tv on outside or he's playing video games with the volume up while i've got the shower on. I no longer worry about him knowing, but I'm still scared of him hearing anything. Baby steps! it's progress nonetheless!

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  • alv1592

    that's understandable, but if the two of you plan to live together eventually, you'll have to overcome that fear. just think of it this way: everybody does it and it's all gross.

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  • camelswing

    Me and girlfriend poop with the door open at home.

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  • eastbeast

    She should phone him up when she needs a shit and scream down the phone,

    'I'M GOING TO HAVE A BIG SHIT'.

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  • Zalenn

    Put toilet paper in the toilet. Poop on the paper. No sploosh. Wipe and flush.

    Eat a proper diet and this should be a minute long process tops.

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  • lotuspetals

    I see this happened two and a half years ago. I wonder how her vacation went..or if they are still together. Or if he gave her an ultimatum..haha.

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    • GoraIntoDesiGals

      She died of constipation.

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      • lotuspetals

        Lol

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  • cilv

    dude,I had the same problem, I went for like 5 days to see my boyfriend, I COULDN'T TAKE A POOP!!!!!I tried when he got out of the house for like 4 hours and I was alone, but still, I feared he will come back and here the "ploop" sound :P
    This is really embarassing.I think the best solution is the shower one.but what if you already took a shower??????Just put some toilet paper inside the toilet :D life's hard huh? :P
    p.s If you want to relax just try to carry ur ipod with you or a magazine,or even a cigarette if you smoke.(without being seen!!)

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  • Memehoney

    I actually have the same problem.. Not the disorder and all just the issue with pooping @ his house I hold it until I go home which isn't good but I cant seem to poop around him let alone even pass gas.. Out of the 4 years we've been together Ive only pooped at his place once and even then I was scared out of my mind that it's smell, be loud, or he'd think I was super gross..... & I haven't done it since just can't I'm too scared... Then I think of u's moving in together like what am I gonna do then go to my parents house to poop? I don't think he would look at me any differently but who knows. I just feel embarrassed 2 poop while he's around.... I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know your not alone....

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  • robbyjoe

    It is normal as far as I'm concerned, I too used to be poop & pee shy, I wwould have to be sure no one was around, my family & friends & especially my g/f. However, I had a woman pooping fetish, known as coprophilia and she would usually let me accompany her while she was on the pot. One time when she was taking a dump & I was with her she asked me why I never went to the bathroom when she was around, I told her I dont know & she was coaxing me to tell her, al

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  • vchen87

    hi, i had the same problem too. The best thing to do is to just talk to your boyfriend about it. Tell him about your anxiety and maybe the two of you can try to figure out ways to overcome your anxiety. Try having him watch tv really loudly while you have the shower running. I also like to have music playing in the bathroom. It might sound strange or weird to talk about this, but communication is really the only way for you to overcome this anxiety. What if you start spending days at a time with you bf? You'd be constipated for days which is unhealthy and extremely uncomfortable.

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    • SomethingNotRecognisable

      That's what I do :(

      I just spent 6 days at my boyfriend's house and couldn't go. All last night I couldn't even sleep because my stomach hurt so bad. I was so uncomfortable, I wish I just didn't care like him!!

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      • Diaperboy69

        Go see a therapist and stop revealing your personal problems to a bunch of idiots.

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  • davegrohl

    ahaha
    This happens to me and i'm a man.
    I guess it would be better with time, but for now, i just can't move on.
    Try that shower stuff or do it before hand, if u know that you'll be all day at his house or whatever
    and try to mention that in front of him, to be more natural about that stuff, because it gotta happen someday, the sooner the better :)

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  • D785

    Two of my boyfriends broke up with me over something like this. I tried to jokingly fart around one of them, and he stopped laughing and his face immediately looked serious. He talked to me less and less over the following weeks until he finally broke up with me over the phone. The other boyfriend heard me in the bathroom. (I thought he was still asleep.) When I got out the was like what the h*** was that? Gross. He didn't want to have sex with me anymore and ghosted me about a week and a half later. That's why I've developed some really good tricks to hide it. I'm pretty good at it now. No more issues!

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdGuy

    As a man it would turn me off more knowing my girl is holding poop in her bowels. It's better to get that out of there. Especially if he's into anal.

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  • Bratz

    Stop pooping

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  • raptor642

    say your going for a shower and turn the water on, then shit and get in the shower after ur done

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  • Hunkbeef

    I have the same problem! I can't even go pee with my boyfriend in the same house..

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  • JimmyBoyy

    u can layer toilet paper over the water in the toilet, u can turn the sink on while u use, or u can constantly flush the toilet.

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  • Diaperboy69

    I don't believe you and if there was any validity to this post, you wouldn't be asking idiots on this site for help, advice or anything else that motivated you to write such trash. Anyone who knows what they are suffering from had to be diagnosed by a doctor. That doctor or any qualified medical professional is where any normal person would go for help. You could even do a google search and do this at home. But please don't insult my intelligence with this bullSHIT story.

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    • SomethingNotRecognisable

      Are you serious ?

      I'm here for the exact same reason, of course it's believable. How many people go to the internet rather than a doctor ? I know I'm the first. Every single problem I've ever had, I've googled first.

      Why wouldn't you ask idiots on this site for help ? That's what the site is FOR. And besides, it's not that easy to speak so easily about anxiety about poop especially when you have anxiety about poop !!!!

      Don't be so rude and stupid.

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      • Diaperboy69

        Rude & Stupid? First of all, I am neither. Secondly, the first thing anyone with a problem related to physical or psychological should know is, seek help from a trained and licensed professional. Not on a stupid website like this one. If you were sincerely suffering from a clear psychological issue as you describe, you would be smart enough to not expect goofballs on this or any other social media site to have the background or training to help you. Next, any medical professional requires a one-on-one in person meeting in order to ascertain personal info about you in order for them to make a proper diagnosis and course of treatment. The fact that you don't know this and responded calling me rude and stupid says more about you than me. Unfortunately, youth of today in the internet age lack the common sense and intelligence to make informed decisions and think that the answers they seek are going to come from a place like this. This is a playground not a qualified source of information. You should know better. In other words, you are the stupid one. Now if you can figure out how to do a google search, enter keywords related to info you are looking for. The results will include professional resources where you can arrange to see someone who is an expert in that area. YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM A MENTAL PROBLEM DIRECTLY RELATED TO BAD UPBRINGING FROM A VERY EARLY AGE. This is NOT normal and people understand that poop smells. But it is how you feel about yourself that is concerning me because you have been traumatized in such a way that it has effected your judgement. I will take a leap here and say, I have no doubt that you are a beautiful normal person who is deserving of a happy life. However, if you are being honest about your post then the sooner you get REAL help the sooner your life will turn around and tge happier you will be. Take my advice to heart. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. But, calling me rude and stupid isn't going to help you get help. Anyone else would know what I said makes sense. Would you go to a auto mechanic to have a tooth pulled? Of course not. So why come here and expect a bunch of dummies to know anything. This is the last place you should come to for help, advice, solutions or answers that affect your well being.

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  • redfastlad

    Try lowering the larger turds by hand!! They won't make that splashing sound then!

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  • nabilov

    How do you want to Tngot without the smell of excrement of some people is stinky and defect Lada Hedda very natural
    Faeces excrement is always stink I personally do not care to others who wanted to smell I do not care

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  • wistfulmaiden

    Tell him "oh Im not pooping in here"...that ought to work.

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  • megadriver

    LOL! This is the biggest load of crap i've seen! Honnestly. Who asks this? Is it normal to poop?! You are a human being right? You eat right? So you poop...
    It's normal.
    And if it helps, guys don't care about your pooping.

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    • SomethingNotRecognisable

      That's not what she said.

      What she said was "is it normal to be so paranoid and anxious about pooping around your significant other"

      Don't twist things around and be more respectful !

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      • Diaperboy69

        NO IT IS NOT NORMAL! If it was then millions of people would be getting help for a problem that is not normal.

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  • robbieforgotpw

    Did you say you poop loud?

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  • jlweathe

    Thanks for your suggestions everyone. Unfortunately, this problem isn't getting any better and I'm starting to worry for my health. I even talked to him about it, and he was great about it, but it's still not helping.

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  • jlweathe

    vehen87, did you talk to your boyfriend about this? How did he respond?

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