I feel like i'm losing control of my life

33% Normal
4 Comments

I am in my early twenties and I have been living with my dad for the last few years. I was previously living with my mother but I moved out because the living environment was toxic and taking a toll on my mental health. I still have some contact with both my parents and my cell phone plan is still under my mom. I don't have my own car and i've been using my dads car since I moved in. I don't have much of a social network irl so i'm fairly dependant on him.

I have been wanting to move out and my co worker and I have been discussing renting an apartment together. But now my dad is asking me to move in with my grandmother to take care of her, and has been guilt tripping me and trying to make me feel bad for not wanting to move in with her. Then I got a text yesterday from my mom telling me she went ahead and scheduled me for a vaccine appointment, without even mentioning anything to me.

this whole thing has been extremely frustrating and I feel like I have no control over my own life. I can't address him about this, because any time I try to talk to him about issues I have he'd get defensive and mad just for bringing it up. I want to move out but i'm scared to bring it up because I don't know how he will react, but I don't know how much longer I can keep living like this.

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 9 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    Good ol family drama. Everybody has it. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad taking care of granny if you got free rent. If you move in with your co worker make sure you get a shorter lease because people are different when you live with them

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  • S0UNDS_WEIRD
    2 years ago

    Ask your dad why he won't move her in with him. She raised him, right?

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  • SwickDinging
    2 years ago

    I cannot even begin to imagine telling one of my children that they ought to move in with my mother to look after her. That's really shitty parenting. If your Dad is so sure that his mother needs someone to look after her then he can move in with her himself.

    He's trying to get you to do it because then he doesn't have to, and it absolves his own guilt. It's really that simple. It's his own problem so please don't get bogged down in it.

    Move in with your co-worker. Try and find somewhere cheap so that you aren't struggling to keep a roof over your head- don't forget that bills and food usually end up costing more than you think. Either move somewhere with good transport links or buy your own car. And if your dad keeps pushing you about moving in with his mother, maybe start taking less calls from him.

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  • sillygirl77
    2 years ago

    That's tough. Can see taking care of your parents, but I'd think your grandparents care is your parents responsibility

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