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I just feel like the physical body being dust is so massively depressing and makes me ill to think they're now in a jar as dust.
There is a culture in which the body is placed up on a hill and the vultures eat it. I think it's called a 'Sky Burial', but I'm not sure.
Cremation has existed for thousands of years. Most cultures have not kept the ashes.
My mother kept my dad's ashes as she wished to have her ashes buried together with his in a common grave.
I did that last fall; we actually had most of the family together for the burial. My mom's funeral was over 2 years ago. Both my dad and mom donated their bodies to medical research or education. When they are done they cremate the remains and send the ashes to the designated family member (that was myself for my mom). I got the ashes last summer (and had the ashes for dad from mom's apartment that I cleaned out in early 2019).
We buried them in early November, and the stone was not placed until June of this year (this is a winter state and the ground must thaw). I've taken pictures of the stone and sent them to all the family members and other interested people.
I don't like it either. I would prefer to be buried raw, no casket either, and turn into a skeleton. I hope my family honors my wishes. I know I'll be dead and probably not know or care at that point, but I care now, which I think counts for something. I like the thought of lying there, my whole unadulterated body, in the dark, cold ground, for maybe hundreds of years before somebody accidentally digs me up. I hope I frighten them, or even better...maybe they'll think they're cursed now for disturbing me.
Once a person dies, they're gone. The only thing left behind is the organic machine that they occupied.
Bodies have to be disposed of somehow. If you look into the alternatives, cremation is by far the least disgusting option.
The idea of keeping an urn of ashes indefinitely has always seemed borderline ghoulish to me, and I think it can be a way of denying what's actually happened. I scattered my late wife's ashes in the holes I dug to plant some fruit trees a year or so after her death. That seemed more respectful than keeping them forever, and I'm sure she would have appreciated the circle of life thing.
It's extremely disgusting to me especially the keeping the ashes part, that's the scariest. I don't understand how anyone could place an urn in view in their home and think that's their loved one in there it's a really morbid thing to me.
I'm sorry your wife died
I've often wondered what if they harvest and sell your loved ones body parts on the black market and hand you an urn with ashes from someone's last cookout. It could happen, you never know.
It's normal...I am speaking from experience on that too, and the good news is that you learn to heal from it eventually and appreciate what you still have. Just keep living.