I feel uneasy when somebody describes the place i'm in as 'run down'

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For example, I've just come to a hotel or restaurant and I may feel fine...until somebody (usually my mother) mentions it 'looks/seems run-down' and then I start noticing every little flaw like Gordon Ramsay on Hotel Hell and I can't help but feel uneasy, as if I am in a haunted house/ abandoned building and then I begin to... pity the building as I see that it was not maintained as well as it used to be and I want to leave, since I cannot renovate/tidy it.
So that nobody gets a bad impression about my mother, she is a very kind-hearted person and by no means a neurotic, but she has always had a keen eye for architecture and renovation, her favorite pastime being house flipping shows. She also takes care of an investment property for my grandmother.
Sometimes tenants would come and leave the place looking run-down because they disobeyed the house rules or didn't upkeep a consistent cleaning schedule which was disheartening (especially as I lived there for the first five years of my life).

As for me, I usually already feel an uneasy atmosphere in a place she describes as run-down but for some reason, those two words together amplify those feelings.
But please don't get the impression that it is my mother's fault. It's the word 'run-down' and not my mother. This started when I was about nine years old.

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Based on 8 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Boojum
    4 years ago

    It sounds like your mother is perfectionist (although she probably says that she just has high standards). As a wild guess, I wonder if what you experience in situations like those you mention is an internal conflict between seeing things as they really are, and seeing things as the perfectionist you grew up with sees them. She's your mother, so you want to believe she's right, but on the other hand, what you initially saw doesn't match up to her nit-picking assessment. Maybe you take what she says as an implied criticism of you, since you didn't spot the things her eagle-eyed gaze immediately picked out?

    As for you personifying less than pristine buildings as the poor victims of uncaring people, I haven't the faintest idea what that's about.

    If being in public places with your neurotic mother causes you to be anxious, then the solution is pretty obvious.

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    • BubbleTeaStan
      4 years ago

      My mother is a very kind-hearted person and by no means a neurotic, but she has always had a keen eye for architecture and renovation, her favorite pastime being house flipping shows. She also takes care of an investment property for my grandmother.
      Sometimes tenants would come and leave the place looking run-down because they disobeyed the house rules or didn't upkeep a consistent cleaning schedule which was disheartening (especially as I lived there for the first five years of my life).

      As for me, I usually already feel an uneasy atmosphere in a place she describes as run-down but for some reason, those two words together amplify those feelings.
      But please don't get the impression that it is my mother's fault. It's the word 'run-down' and not my mother. This started when I was about nine years old.

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  • AMERICANsavage
    4 years ago

    Id rather be in a rundown building than a rundown part of town. Atleast you're safe.

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    • BubbleTeaStan
      4 years ago

      I've been to rundown parts of town before and always find it terrifying, daunting and mesmerizing all at once.
      I feel sympathy for everyone who lives there and even the buildings there.

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      • AMERICANsavage
        4 years ago

        I was lost in Miami once on foot and took one wrong turn onto this street and it was like skid row. I was the only white dude and I was young. This black dude came up to me asking me if I need drugs and said he had everything. Im pretty sure he was trying to rob me. I made it clear I had 0 money

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    I’ll be alright till I see bloody sheets or some fucking pubes on the sheet then It really sets in, this place is nasty. Last condo I went to had a pair of underwear under the bed.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Dr. Phil?? You hear mate?

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  • Ellenna
    4 years ago

    I found your second paragraph interesting, as I have an attraction to old and derelict houses with rusted corrugated iron roofs and sagging verandahs and have no idea why, except if I could I'd fix one up to live in.

    If I hadn't felt this attraction since I was young I'd psycho analyse myself as it being projection because I wish I could renovate my ageing derelict body and live in it for a lot longer!

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  • raisinbran
    4 years ago

    Run down can be thought of as quaint or authentic.

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