I feel very guilty if i tell my mom i'm too tired to make her a coffee

33% Normal
10 Comments

I love coffee and have an expensive machine at home it takes a bit of work including clean up to make a cup but its worth it for the taste. My mom actively refused to learn how to use it so that I would make her coffee when she wanted it, however she wants one everyday and I'm busy with studying a lot and if I tell her which I do frequently that I'm too tired she goes on about the fact I wouldn't make my own mother coffee for up to 5 minutes sometimes, other times I can see her sigh and look deflated, its left me feeling guilty if I say no and made me get up from resting on the sofa to make her one when I really feel exhausted. Is this normal?

I would like to add outside of this shes extremely accommodating and loving it sometimes feels as though she feels I aught to make her one every time she asks because of everything shes done for me and I'm happy to when I have the energy but it doesnt really feel like a choice most times.

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 6 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    I have a feeling it's not really about the coffee. It's about you making the effort to do something just for her.

    I also suspect you not making coffee for your mother isn't really about you being too tired. How much effort and energy does it really take to make a cup of fucking coffee? And if you're truly utterly exhausted, why the hell are you sitting on the sofa when you should be in bed sleeping?

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  • Mini69
    3 years ago

    You sound like a horrible person if you’re too bone idle to make your mother a cup of coffee. Think of all the times she did stuff for you as you grew up. When she made you food, fed you, changed your dirty nappies, dressed you, taught you your basic life skills, looked after you and comforted you if you were sick or distressed, got up in the middle of the night to see to you when you were a baby and thousands of other things. Do you think she was never tired when doing those things? Do you think she sometimes would have relished a day off or even a few hours? Now she is older and can’t do all she did years ago, she needs a little help and compassion from you, but you are too lazy and selfish! Do you think that makes her proud of the way you turned out?

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    • RoseIsabella
      3 years ago

      Good grief! You're really hamming it up with the guilt trip! How hard can it be for OP's mom to learn to make a cup of coffee? Her mother should just pay attention, learn how to use the machine.

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      • Mini69
        3 years ago

        I’m not suggesting she shouldn’t learn how to use the machine. I just think if the OP is too lazy to make her mother a cup of coffee it’s a pretty poor show and they should feel pretty ashamed of themselves. I would love the opportunity to make my mother a coffee and spend time with her. You never know how important those things are until it’s too late.

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        • RoseIsabella
          3 years ago

          The fact that OP has made coffee for her mother in the past shows that she's not too lazy... AND NO OP SHOULD NOT FEEL ASHAMED!!!

          I'm not a fan of people putting guilt trips on other people about this kinda stuff! If you want to make a cup of coffee for your mother then go do it, and if that is an impossibility, because she has passed on then I'm sorry for your loss, and please accept my condolences. I'm just requesting that you not shame OP, for something related to an issue that seems to be more about you, and your life than what OP is currently going through.

          I happen to be of the opinion that maybe OP's mother should be more gracious, and less manipulative with the guilt trips. When a person does another person a favor it's important to show gratitude for the favor rather than to become so accustomed to it as to take it for granted, and then just expect it.

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          • Mini69
            3 years ago

            You’re entitled to your opinion. Doesn’t mean I will be changing mine anytime soon.

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  • jethro
    3 years ago

    Oops the expensive coffee machine just broke and you have to get the regular Mr. Coffee coffee maker that anyone can use. Or better yet get a Keurig machine. If that fails, get your own apartment and move out. Then your mother wont be bothering you for coffee, or anything else, for that matter.

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    • RoseIsabella
      3 years ago

      Hell yeah! If it were me I'd be down to say the machine broke, and then hide it away just for fun. HAHAHA! My mom used to chase me with a belt when I was a kid, and now that she's really old she acts like that shit never happened. I do her little favors like manicures, and pedicures, and the occasional facial, but I'm not lifting a finger in the kitchen if I don't want to for someone who used to abuse me verbally, emotionally, and physically, then conveniently forgets in her old age. Nope!

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    I think your mother should just make the effort to learn how to use the fancy coffee machine. Seriously, how hard can it be to learn to make a cup of coffee. I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about!

    I don't make coffee for anyone, because I don't drink coffee therefore I have zero reason to care. I can probably make coffee fine, but the truth is that I prefer tea. Besides my mom is Colombian so if there's one thing she can do it's makes coffee! My mom is kind of the independent type in a lot of ways so I don't have to worry too much about her. Although when we had to take care of my sister's elderly, blind, diabetic poodle I would be in charge of grooming, and taking the dog out to do his business, but mom was in charge of administering insulin shots, and feeding the dog. I gave the little dog a couple of baths, trimmed his fur with the clippers, clipped his nails, brushed his teeth, and gave him his special eyedrops.

    I'm really not a fan of people trying to lay guilt trips on me for random stuff.

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  • litelander8
    3 years ago

    Yeah, make the ol lady a cup o joe.

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