I find it unreasonable how men and women hate each other

67% Normal

At least according to the internet. It's unreasonable, stupid and honestly kind of disturbing people cannot have sympathy, understanding and respect for each other completely independently on gender. Its also disturbing if true, that most men cannot genuinely care for a woman they know they cant have sex with (I personally dont think that's true for the majority). And why does so many always side with their own gender on any issue related to it. Both men and women think they are the ones treated most unfairly in a society where people generally have the same rights. And somehow their side suffering some injustice means injustice on the opposite side is invalid (its not, both are valid). Men and women seem to naturally have different preferences when it comes to dating and relationship (and that's far from the only gender issue), but why cannot that just be accepted as something that just are a natural occurring difference. If internet is right men are also generally treated unfairly in cases like divorce and child custody, and risk getting sentenced to jail for rape accusations without actual proof they did it. If so that certainly needs to change. In what cases are women in the western world treated unfairly in the law system? (not denying, there could genuinely be issues that need to be treated).

This is not what I observe in real life, where I live both men and women can be friends and generally aren't assholes. But for some reason the rest of the world seems overly divided and hateful.

Anyone else finds this trend and mindset actually disturbing?

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67% Normal

Based on 3 votes (2 yes)

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Comments ( 10 )

Correction

2 years ago

Some fun facts for ya:

-38% of rapes are reported to the police
-15% of reported rapes lead to an arrest(5.7 of all rapes)
-19% of arrests lead to prosecution(2.8% of reported rapes, 1.1% of all rapes)
-54.5% of prosecuted rapes lead to jail time(1.5% of reported rapes, 0.6% of all rapes)
-*5% of reported rapes are false. (More on this in a minute)

Now, let’s say false rape reports lead to arrests and incarceration at the same rate as the real thing. (Even though the rate for false accusations is likely considerably lower, obviously. One study showed only 3% of false reports lead to arrests and less than 1% lead to charges.)

But let’s say the rates are the same. Add it all up and for every innocent man that goes to jail for rape, there are 3,300 rapists who go free. Even if you take out the unreported rapes, there’s still over 1,200 women who are raped and report it to the police and their rapist goes free for every innocent man who goes to jail. You tell me who the justice system treats unfairly.

By the way, that 5% “false accusation” number includes women who changed their mind and decided not to pursue the case, which certainly doesn’t mean it didn’t happen(anybody who’s ever known anybody in an abusive relationship knows they will recant even when it did happen), and any other case where the police simply decided the report wasn’t true. There are several known incidents of women reporting being raped, not being believed, being charged/convicted, and later it being proven that they were telling the truth the whole time. This is one of the reasons why women are so reluctant to come forward.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  It's not a matter of which happens ofter, and 5% is still way to high for something like that. It is a matter of how is it right that the law system should work. Does it really seem right to you that it should be possible to have people sentenced without proof if someone decided to accuse you? There just wont always be a chance to catch every criminal, and in order to have a an actually justful system thats how it has to be (not a good thing, but its better than the alternative), its not exclusive to rape cases, that is just treated like an "unique" crime, but what if we apply the same logic to murder and you can go to prison because someone accuses you of killing?
  
  If they refuse investigate properly then you have all right to complain and I support you on that. I would also support giving actual proven rapists either death penalty or life sentence in prison, and that probably would discourage it a lot, as there is always a chance to get caught. But the stricter the penalty, the more important it becomes that nobody gets wrongfully convicted to that penalty. You are not asking for a very just system overall.
  
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  - Correction
    
    2 years ago
    
    You asked for cases of women being treated unfairly by the legal system. That was the entire basis of the post, so of course which happens more often is relevant. I digress. Who said it was possible for someone to be sent to jail without proof, or that it should be possible? The problem is people who don’t go to jail even when there is proof. Nobody’s going to jail without proof, short of corruption in the legal system, but that’s a whole other topic and no standard of proof is going to help in a situation like that.
    
    Since you brought up murder…one study found 52 rape convictions that were later overturned in the last 25 years. For comparison’s sake, the same study found 790 murder convictions overturned in the same time period. If you’re concerned about people going to jail for crimes they didn’t commit, false rape accusations isn’t even in the conversation.
    
    If you want a legal system where there are zero wrongful convictions, you might as well say you want rape(and every other crime) to be legal. There is no punishment that would make the risk outweighs the reward for criminals in a system like that because the chances of anybody being convicted would be so astronomically low. Even DNA evidence isn’t 100% accurate and foolproof. Hell, even confessions aren’t 100% reliable(see the Unbelievable story I referenced in my last comment), so that wouldn’t be enough to send somebody to jail.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      2 years ago
      
      Okay, I can maybe agree to have someone sentenced when there is at least majority of actual proof, if the convict rate would be extremely low otherwise. If someone is found innocent or even that the original court didn't do a good job (despite no new evidence) then they should be set free and compensated. But proof beyond accusation is a minimum in every crime case.
      
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1234tellmethatyoulovememore

2 years ago

What I see a lot is the "men can be abused too!" narrative. Ironically, I've only really seen feminists take it seriously and men only tend to bring it up to discredit conversations about male on female abuse.

"Men get abused too!"
"They do. Let's talk about it."
"Fuck you bitch we don't need you to save us!"

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1WeirdGuy

2 years ago

Also what you dont see is how many false rape accusations are swept under the rug as well! Im not advocating for rape obviously (idk if anyone serioisly does) but you can not just say "oh this girl says she was raped lets lock her ex boyfriend up and ruin his life with no investigation." Women do this all the time. Ive heard women falsly claim their boyfriends beat them. Ive had a girl accuse me of something similar. Ive had friends girlfriends that even fake being pregnant. It absolutely does happen and it should be condemned by everyone and like rape it shouldnt be swept under the rug

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Anonymous Post Author

2 years ago

I never said it matters in the setting what she's wearing and it doesn't. Nor does it matter if she was angry at him for an unrelated reason. If the cases are nearly always properly investigated and nobody actually gets sentenced without proof that goes beyond the accusation then maybe I can change my mind on that a little. But how do people end up wrongfully convicted then?

By the way, I'm actually a woman and never said otherwise. Doesn't mean I have to side with my gender in every cause.

And maybe normalizing casual sex with strangers was a mistake on societies behalf, because you should be able to trust them among many other issue. I dont want to make it illegal still.

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Anonymous Post Author

2 years ago

That's not good either, and I would be for stricter penalties to deter rapists, when it is actually proven. But it's not a matter of what happens after. In law you have to make your mind, should it be possible to sentence someone based on an accusation with no actual proof? If you have to settle that question once for all I think the answer is obvious... And it especially would seem obvious (to most women also) if that actually went both ways and women can go to prison because a man accused them.

The problem with rape is a matter of dealing with individual rapists, there is neither a law or an overall culture for men to encourage or accept rape (unless you mean those crazy actually stereotype incels maybe, but most of society oppose them)

In cases where rape cases are "thrown away" as you say, is it due to lack of proof, or due to actual refusal to investigate?

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1WeirdGuy

2 years ago

"I'm just saying that people love to focus on the false accusations" I feel you were doing exactly that by focusing only on the rapes and discounting false accusations. Just like others only focus on false accusations and not real rapes. This was his whole point its always one side or the other. Women vs men. You were doing the same thing in reverse. Its all good though.

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Anonymous Post Author

2 years ago

I'm not focusing on false accusations in order to say men have it worse, but because it is horrible and very unjust in itself when someone actually innocent goes to prison. Imagine if that was you. And it also makes large numbers of men (that aren't rapists) afraid to date, which I think is bad for both genders.

And people can and do lie. Its something especially bad when the law system does something like that, abusing their power when they should protect the innocent and should be able to be trusted with their power. This has nothing directly to do with gender, people should be innocent until the opposite is proven. But if they simply refuse to investigate, that is a problem too. I am also for supporting potential rape victims in other ways, in case what they're saying is true, but at the same time not punish the potential rapist in case what they're saying is not true and you ruin the life of an innocent person.

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Are You Normal?

I find it unreasonable how men and women hate each other