I found self harm scars on my friend

3 Comments

I was hanging out with my very good friend and I noticed some pretty deep scars that looked fresh and painful and I gently took his arm and said "Ow, that looks painful! how did you do that?" because we are pretty close and he usually tells me about his injuries, and he was suddenly very uncomfortable and took his arm back and hid it and said awkwardly "uh, nothing, that's just... me.... it's nothing" and I clued in that he had made those himself. I just want him to be ok and to be happy, what should I do?

Tell someone who could help him (who though?) 6
Nothing, it's his problem 2
Confront him about it 10
Nothing but subtly try to make him more happy 1
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Quasar
    6 years ago

    This sounds like a situation I dealt with a few years ago. We were out for lunch when I saw her cuts. I bought her lunch and we had a long heart to heart about what she was going through after telling her I wasn't going to judge. She is getting help, still has bad days but recently she was in a good place with no recent cuts.

    Let him know he can talk to you without judgment if and when he needs you. Encourage him to get help. (Use Google to find someone local) The problem will only get worse without intervention. That being said don't expect him to be happy all the time. Even with help he will still have bad days. Just try to be a support system, it will get hard but its better than ignoring it and letting it get worse.

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  • barstool
    6 years ago

    Quasar gave a brilliant response there.
    Just to add: definitely do NOT go behind his back and tell anyone. It's a breach of trust and may do more damage in the short term.

    Don't avoid it either. Don't get all weird about it. Don't freak out. But calmly tell him that you want to talk with him about it. As Quasar said, be a nonjudgmental, sympathetic ear. Encourage him to get help.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    6 years ago

    You see, we're adults and his mom is really abusive so it would be wierd and awkward if I drove to his parents' house and told his mom he injures himself because of trauma she caused

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