I had a disturbing experience today at work

Hello all, to put my post into the best context, I'm "Mr. Wedding Crasher". I have never crashed a wedding and I don't know if there is one coming up. I can only guess. All of you know how obsessed I am with my ex best friend. I am still "stalking" all possible avenues of information. Today while I was working at a grocery store, my ex best friend's younger brother came in. This has happened before. The first time it happened was August 1 of last year. I can recognize my ex best friend's truck in a split second. On that day both his brothers were there and I talked to them. They seemed happy to see me and we had a brief conversation. I learned the town my ex was living in and where he was working. I told them to tell their brother hello for me.

I have seen only his younger brother since. His younger bother does lawn care and is now using my ex's truck that he drove when we were friends. Obviously he is now driving a different vehicle. Actually, on Holy Wednesday of this year, I'm pretty sure I saw him in an old red truck by a Walmart. I was a passenger in my vehicle and that vehicle moved before I could pass it and confirm if it was him. The whole head of this person was the same. His favorite color is red and he has never had a new vehicle, so it makes total since, especially since it was a few days before Easter.

Today, his younger brother came into the store and was only in there for no more than 10 minutes. When he got to check out, it was extremely busy. He went to lane 4 and I was bagging on lane 6. I wend towards the exit doors before he finished paying so I could say hello. I was picking trash out of the recycle bin and I said "what's up Jonny, how you doing?" I think he just looked at me and left. I know that he recognized me. I remember looking his way while I was on lane 6 while he was checking out. I'm sure that he saw me, but I don't think he looked happy.

I can't remember for sure even though it was less than 12 hours ago because I was so anxious. For a second I thought I felt hate and contempt in the air. I only tried to engage him once and that was it. Every time I see a person who is an avenue for information on him, I get a severe adrenaline rush, and I can feel heart palpitations. It takes me a long time to calm down. I'm still not completely normal yet and probably won't be until tomorrow.

I didn't persist because I wasn't "HIM" and I was at work. I don't want to get into trouble with a customer. I know that "HE" ghosted me and his mother blocked me on Facebook. He may have even blocked my number. They are almost totally private now because I can't even find anything with my fake account. I thoughts are that he did tell "HIM" hello for me and there was a bad reaction. I swear no one has told me anything to my face, when is the best way to communicate with me on these matters.

My ex's girlfriend or fiancé's birthday is this Monday May 10. Her grandparents' Facebook is almost totally public and they post a public happy birthday to each grandchild every year. They did last year, and I will be watching closely in 2 days. I also monitor their home parish bulletin, and this week when they uploaded, they mentioned a wedding for someone today and who it was. I wasn't "THEM" but I know that I will most probably find out the wedding before it happens. I sincerely hope it happens while I'm not scheduled to work. That church does Friday evenings and Saturday mornings. The latter is no good because I usually work. I have sincerely thought about crashing it. I doubt that I will have the 2 weeks notice to request off. I know better than to call in for this, but I couldn't work well knowing that it was going on.

I'm kind of scared to show up after what happened today. I don't want to get beat up or arrested. I can't let "THEM" peacefully fuck either!!! Last Thursday I talked with my therapist. I told him about everything except what just happened. We have discovered that I view my ex best friend as a person who would have completed me. I wanted him as a lover and a soulmate, whether I intended it or not. We agreed that crashing the wedding would be my final say in this. However, he recommended against it and said it would be extremely selfish to do it. He knows that I am capable of empathy. My next appointment is may 27. We have mentioned "HIM" in nearly every therapy session for over 2 years.

Deep down I want to be a good person and go to heaven. I am catholic and have been working on it my whole life. I'm so scared of hell that I have stopped masturbating almost entirely. I also fear that "HIS" family has gone entirely private because of me. I didn't mean to ruin their lives. I never said anything to their faces about this either. Since I didn't I don't know why they hate me so much. The seemed to be even better Catholics than my family. All the men being in the knights of Columbus and having an alter to Mary in their home. They seem very devout. This is why I don't understand the evil acts of treating me this way. They can only guess what I am just like I can for them since nothing was said directly.

This has consumed my life for so long. I just want it to stop. I've tried praying and letting time heal me but I still can't get over it. I do feel like parts of my life are ruined. I'm scared that new friends may do this too, I don't want anymore lives ruined. How can I get over this, should I try hypnosis? Anything may help at this point. What do you think about this situation? May the Holy Trinity help me!!!