I hate my birthday but my girlfriend wants to make it a thing

I can relate. Anyone older than ten who makes a huge deal out of their birthday is pretty sad. From what you say about your girlfriend and her friends, I think they're all well beyond being merely silly and childish.

If anyone had ever tried to force me to celebrate my birthday, I would have flat-out refused. I've made this clear to all the women I've ever been involved with, and told them if they were ever to try to set up a surprise party, I'd walk out.

If you really find it a huge pain to deal with their daftness, tell your girlfriend in very clear terms that you don't want to make a big deal out of your birthday, and you feel that she should respect your right to make this decision. It's your birthday, not hers, and you should have the right to decide if you celebrate it at all, and if you do, what happens.

You gain nothing by letting the past hold onto you like that. I understand childhood shit can be painful and shape who we are; hell I got a terrible ass beating on my birthday because my mom was having a bad day. Something as small as birthdays shouldn't make you so negative.

Plus think about it, she's celebrating your existence, you bring enough joy in her life to include you on their birthday traditions. Guess what? When or if you two have/adopt children, they're also going to have the same birthday traditions. Are you really going to be like, "Nah, I was beat a lot as a kid and made to feel worthless 24/7, so... don't celebrate my birth." Your children are going to be like, "Mom... The fuck wrong with Dad?"

I'm not saying you should do a 180, but at least talk to a therapist about your feelings or something; because it seems like your girlfriend is a very sweet girl who likes to celebrate shit, and that's not a bad quality to have and certainly not a deal breaker.

Lighten up, try not to let bad experiences bother you.

There's nothing wrong with having a nice celebration on your birthday and also nothing wrong with not wanting to have one. Definitely talk to a therapist about this if you can afford to, if not maybe journal about it, but it's not something you have to "get over" for her sake. It's your birthday and what you want should go within reason. So long as you are still participating in other celebrations like her birthday and major holidays, she should just respect that you're not a "birthday person".

Normal. Just play along cause you love her tho.