I hate my professor

2 Comments

I absolutely hate my professor. He's incredibly two faced. He's either your friend or your worst enemy. Constantly agitating me and stressing me out and making me feel ashamed in class has driven me to utterly despise him. Last Tuesday it reached it's peak and his antics had me leave the class and hide in the bathroom gushing furious tears of anger after he embarrassed me in front of the class. I returned only at the end to grab my things, to have this asshole professor hover over me once again, this time badgering me saying I and him had to talk as I was clearly upset. I refused and he pushed me further, to talk. I finally lost the ability to keep my anger in and screamed in his face, calling him out and saying his methods were a useless waste of my time and I stormed out of the classroom leaving him stunned. Suddenly the other side of him came out. Since he's been playing up the good side, acting hurt and upset over my behavior, instead of returning it with the aggression he previously displayed. A faculty member attempted to resolve our disagreement a day after it had occurred and my face was still full throttle. I attempted at first to stare in a straightforward unfeeling manner, all of my grievances with him but the more I spoke the less both the teacher and the faculty member listened. Our conversation devolved into bickering and I got harsher and harsher, sinking cold comment on his failures as a teacher and arguing he was childish and had some of worst communication skills I'd ever witnessed. Again, he acted hurt and defenseless. I should have stopped. He was no longer being aggressive to me, he was letting me rip him to shreds with my words and taking everything I threw at him but I didn't. I knew I was getting to him. I was doing real damage to his esteem. But I just couldn't stop myself. It felt so cathartic. It felt every person I'd ever wanted to slam with such cold stabbing words, became him and I took every bit of anger out in him in that conference room. Of course the faculty member too this behavior as hysterical disregarded all my serious concerns, and become unloving demanding I just appease the teachers wishes and play nice. The teacher hardly said anything but occasionally blinked and gave me stunned looked like he was deeply wounded by my words. I didn't care. There was something about him that was easy to hate. I've never been so spiteful in my entire life. It so good but a part of me could feel his pain and was trying to shake me out of my rage.
Now I have to face him this following Tuesday, after solving nothing, and showing my ugliest cruelest self to someone who, deep down I know, did not deserve it. A part of me wants to just behave apologetically. To settle with his requests and mind my own business, a silent acknowledgment of "I took it too far". But a part of me, for once, felt a power I'd never felt before. Never in my life had my angry words and cold demeaned really phased anyone, at least not anyone who I felt deserved it. A part of me wants to twist the knife out of sheer spite, show up with my work complete, going overkill on all his requests, not for an apology, but for sheer spite "Is this good enough?! Happy?! Will this shut you up?!" And crank up my music and tune out him entirely, knowing no matter how much work I do in his class, he will be hurt that I refuse acknowledge him as a person. And he has no right to demand anything from me but work. It would be so cathartic. A final dig at him. A final F- U at the end of class. Getting a solid score on the final, and shunning him completely. And he'll have nothing to complain or argue against, if the work is complete and I'm causing no disturbance. I've never had that power over someone that's hurt me before. They always couldn't care less how I treated them. It feels like the chance for me to have the last laugh at someone. And after a life time of abuse and neglect, for once, letting someone face the consequence, and lie in the bed they made, is so tempting. I'm not sure why I wrote all this. I'm not asking if it's normal. I just needed it off my chest.

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Comments ( 2 )
  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    Wow. You actually have a professor who gives a shit about your feelings.

    In my experience, most of those working in higher education see their students as an endless parade of faces that are here today, and then out of sight and out of mind in a few months. This guy you so despise actually cares enough to recognize that you were upset and invited you to tell him what was wrong. But rather than dealing with this as an adult (which I assume you are), you spewed all kinds of crap on him, and now you're still nurturing your temper-tantrum because... Well, that's not at all clear.

    Maybe this will be news to you, but educators are not required to be surrogate mommies and daddies. They don't have to be nice to every one of the fragile snowflakes sitting in front of them. They're there to try to help said flakes learn about some particular aspect of the world. That's all. If a student feels they're being victimized by an educator, there should be official procedure to follow in order to resolve the issue. Usually, scuttling out the door and "gushing furious tears" in the nearest bathroom won't be part of that process. (What do furious tears look like, anyway? Are they a special color?)

    I wonder if you expect to do something similar when you're out in the real world and a colleague or supervisor says or does something that upsets your delicate sensibilities or violates your frail sense of self-worth.

    Grow up. Accept that you didn't handle this situation well. You don't have to apologize, since I'm sure the professor will have encountered lots of irrational, uber-sensitive, foolish students over the years (it's part of being the age you are). Do the work he expects of his students, and don't be shocked if he gives you no breaks at all when it comes to his grading.

    Finally, understand that your rage is not really going to affect the professor. You're just not that important to him. At the moment, you're only a tiny part of his life, and soon you'll be no part at all. He will have completely forgotten about you in a couple of years at the most.

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  • suckonthis9
    6 years ago

    It happens to the best of them.

    Your Professor is quite clearly showing signs and symptoms of dementia.
    This has become quite common and prevalent throughout society.

    It is due to the gradual weakening of the world's geomagnetic field; inferred to probably be a precursor for a geomagnetic pole reversal event.
    As a result, everyone is being exposed to elevated, harmful energy regimes, and particles, of and from space, respectively.

    Unfortunately, if other people around him are suffering from the same condition, even mildly, they might not recognize that he has developed dementia, until it has progressed to a severe level.

    Be grateful that you are still in control of your own cognizance, because most people in society are not.

    Use your time wisely, because if you don't learn at a young age, you probably will not be able to learn anything additional when you are older. You will need to use what you learn now, to survive in the future.

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