I have a friend with cancer

8 Comments

My friend has multiple types of cancer, as well as fibromyalgia, RA, Endometriosis, and tumors that grow non-stop. They just had a tumor removed yesterday and while that was going on they found a new type of cancer affecting their stomach. The thing is I care so much for this person that has been battling illnesses non stop. They come from a country where people tend to be more prideful, so their mom just got into an argument the other day about their health being constantly poor.I know this is a stressful time for this family because they just lost the dad recently. I really wish I could absolve this person's pain but I cannot, in fact our conversations have been growing slower and less frequent. I love this person and I feel very selfish but I almost feel like ghosting them because I can't stand the reality of them dying. Of course I'm not that selfish, I know I should be here until the end, and these days I don't ask how they are doing or to get well because I realize that they don't like conversations like that. But I need to know what would someone else do if your friend was chronically ill? How do I go about engaging in conversations like we used to, I just feel so socially awkward

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Comments ( 8 )
  • horny_simpletons
    6 years ago

    I would send prayers and positive vibes, and let the person know I'm here if they need emotional support. Sending positive vibes to you and your friend!

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Pray for your friend's health, pray for her family, and pray for your own emotional strength.

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    Don’t ghost them. They need you now more than ever even if it means you quietly sit together for a few hours.
    You need to be strong and face the future with them, they’ll pull from your strength and find comfort in it.

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  • Hateful1
    6 years ago

    What did you talk about before they had cancer? That's what you talk about.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Starting to think they are depressed and that's why they are giving me one word responses. I just didn't realize but it's so obvious now. This makes it so awkward when all I can think about is their demise, I think they have that feeling too

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      • Hateful1
        6 years ago

        What is probably happening is they are sick and tired of thinking about it. If the only people you are taking to keep reminding you your going to die and only want to talk about that, you'd get sick of it too. If this is the only conversation you are having with them then there is something wrong with you not them.

        Also when you are sick people act different. Don't. If you go to see them but spend every moment counting the minutes before you can go, don't go to see them.

        Oh, and call ahead to see if they want a visitor. Can't stress this one enough. If you're in earth shattering pain you might not want to talk to someone.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          Yeah that's what I try to avoid, we don't talk to each about it I think it just sits in the air. They always say a little thing like I am am going to miss.. and so on but yet they don't want conversation like that. The first time they got diagnosed they were so confident. This is the second time and I think they feel defeated almost. You're right they could be in pain and not wanting to talk much or do much as well, I will be considerate of that

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    • RoseIsabella
      6 years ago

      Bingo!

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