I have a problem cleaning up after a number two. grossness level: 100

21% Normal
16 Comments

Please only read this if you are not easily grossed out. After a bowel movement I cannot wipe myself like normal people with some dry toilet paper. The consistency of my poo is like you would imagine wet cement, and cannot be cleaned up properly without baby wipes and tons of soap. I cannot flush wipes down the toilet so I would have to dispose of my wipes in my bathroom trash which would be fine if I had a trash shoot or something but we don't. Mostly though I hate the amount of time it would take to wipe myself clean. Wipe after wipe after wipe comes back icky and the process is endless. So I do the only other thing I can, I do my business every night and then I hop in the shower. Showering is much more efficient but still quite disturbing as I must use my finger rather than a wipe to clean small clumps of poo out of as deep up my anus as they go. They land on my shower floor and despite my attempts to get it go down the drain shower water and clumps of bodily waste don't mix and I can only imagine the toxic fumes I must be breathing in. It is also very hard to travel. I'm worried about my health and the cleanliness of my shower. Any suggestions that might help me live normally?

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21% Normal
Based on 70 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • kydprodigy
    8 years ago

    @VirgilManly coming in clutch.....
    Okay I've had this type of poo once or twice and I totally understand. I'd definitely go get that checked out because your food may not be being digested properly, or you have a poor diet. Just an suggestion, try to hold one of your cheeks to the side so you can poo more fluently and not have it stick . There are disposable wipes that you can buy that are flushable. Good luck I hope this helped!

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  • imacomputer
    8 years ago

    there's noting wrong with poo or pee going down the shower drain. It has the same journey as your toilet waste.

    Also buy a bunch of flushable wet wipes. I use "mom To Mom" brand because theyre fragrance free, for my delicate skin, and they are safe for flushing.

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  • seaturtle
    8 years ago

    Get yourself some psyllium husk fibre. It should improve your poop's consistency.
    So, just take 2 tablespoons of it in a mug, mix it up with a tiny bit of water and it it with applesauce or something that you like.
    I personally don't like the taste of it, so I eat it with applesauce, but you could as well try eating just the mush.

    I think it's gonna help you.

    Also, soups and salads are great addition to your meals. Try to have either daily.

    It's pretty gross just to think what's hiding in your drain. Drain cleaner once in a while is a good idea.

    :)

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  • Darktown
    8 years ago

    Why not just make a habit of only using public restrooms or other peoples toilets. Try to go to the bathroom whenever you are in public so that when you come home you don't have to go. This way you can use as much toilet paper as you need

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  • GiveMeAFuckingNameAlready!
    8 years ago

    Consult a nutritionist.

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  • CountessDouche
    8 years ago

    If you're shitting a bad consistency, the easiest way to fix that is by adjusting your diet. If you eat healthy, your shits will be glorious and easy to clean up, but most people don't want to bother eating healthy.

    It's a wonderful thing; you'll feel better, have more energy, and take less nasty, time consuming poops.

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  • mypenisinyourmouth
    8 years ago

    Try using a vaccuum cleaner

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  • 53739
    8 years ago

    In lots of countries, people clean their butts with water instead of toilet paper. Not advisable to do so in the shower because, like you said, unwanted particles can go down the drain. You are probably better off using water to clean back there while you stay on the toilet.

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  • VirgilManly
    8 years ago

    Try eating human food.

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    • anti-hero
      8 years ago

      Soylent green?

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      • VirgilManly
        8 years ago

        Yes. That'll work.

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  • 53739
    8 years ago

    Number two is pee.

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    • RoseIsabella
      8 years ago

      Nope, it's poo.

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      • 53739
        8 years ago

        Really? I always thought that was number one.

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        • VirgilManly
          8 years ago

          That's why some peole say "I'm going drop a deuce.".
          Deuce=2.

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  • LittleGirlBrutallySodomized
    8 years ago

    After I shit I'll sit on the sink and "use my finger rather than a wipe to clean small clumps of poo out of as deep up my anus as they go". It's easier this way and there's hand soap right there for cleanup.

    Anyone that wipes their ass with regular toilet paper is fucking nasty. After I shit my ass is so clean I could face sit on you and you wouldn't smell ANYTHING. Try that with a regular toilet paper user.

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