I have been battling a voice in my head

29% Normal
4 Comments

Let me start by saying I will be fully blunt and graphic with my words and I won't hold back. For many years now I always felt different like I have another person inside me but he has always been a trouble maker. When I turned 27 it felt like he was trying to take control of me. But then I meet a guy and I use to call him my cure because I felt the other me inside but I was mostly in control and he was there for the ride . Let me add I didn't do drugs or drink alcohol. But after I broke up with my boyfriend I got depressed and the other me came back. There were times I would wake up in someone's bed not knowing how I got there. But later on I start remembering everything I did. When I turned 31 I was introduced to drugs, first started with pot and I thought I was using it to help me stop the other me in my head and it did at first until it got very sexual and he would invite random people to come have sex with me, it felt like the tables turned and I was there but he was in control. Then he meet a guy that gave me meth and since that I feel I lost the battle with him but holding on to some hope even though I'm losing that too. Crazy part is that i have control I'm able to write this, or even talk to my friend about it. Before I would not be able to talk or even write about it he wouldn't let me. god this all sounds crazy but this has been my life for as long as I know I'm just now able to talk about it. I have lost or am losing the will to go on. My friend doesn't believe me but he humors me. I am lost not sure what else to do. I don't do drugs much maybe 2 times every month. In fact I'm coming off the high of meth right now which is why I'm writing this now because I'm scared and the other me is there just not acting on this so I'm free to write. I just don't know what to do the worse thing that lately he has been doing and I think it's because I'm losing my will to continue but I have been having sex with guys that are HIV positive for him it's become a thrill for me it's a way out I sometimes don't know who is in control. I want this to stop but i feel like I'm losing no matter how I see it Help

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29% Normal
Based on 34 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    7 years ago

    I fight walls of text but i keep losing because they are too big.

    Paragraph bitch.

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  • Ass_gas
    7 years ago

    You're a schizo. You need prescription medications; probably SSRIs. Talk to a doctor today.

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  • natalie.lim
    7 years ago

    ok so firslty i hope u get better, and secondly i suggest u go see a therpist, u might have schizophrenia? please please go talk to someone professional about it before it gets even worse than it is. and u might not believe in god, but still pray it does help and makes u feel better.

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  • Chilllbanana
    7 years ago

    i want someone in my head so i have an excuse of being a rock star and die at age 27 <3

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