I have no friends in college i feel so alone and extremely depressed

YESSSSSSSSS...............Finally someone I can relate to...... Your words are my words and I totally know how you feel......... People are stupid for not liking you because you seem like a normal, sensitive, and compassionate person.

And I'm glad dat i came across dis page...coz i realized i'm not d only one wid a f*cked up lyf at college...

I'm afraid I can't really offer much advice, being a bit of a loner myself. But one thing I have learned is that people treat you nicer when you make more of an effort. Smile a bit. It might seem weird at first, but it really does work. And you shouldn't assume that everybody is staring at you or talking about you. And I'm sure your roommates don't really hate you. You have a lot to offer people - you're just not advertising yourself very well.

What I'm saying is, if YOU saw yourself walking down the street; slouched, head hung, not making eye contact, not smiling, giving off that *the whole world hates me* vibe, would YOU try to make friends with you?

awee im soo sorry. listen i feel the same way. im a freshmen at college.only im commuting. i go to class then walk around campus alone. its act kind of hard to make friends. but the thing is, it takes time for different kinds of people. try joining a club, or possibly do some hw in the library and sit with someone.. trust me in time u will make friends. i know its hard but you will make friends

This will probably be me later on this year :(

I've had people laugh at me in the street for no particular reason...until I realised that the wind was making some of my fringe stick right up. Ahhh good times.

Jerks! I hate people like them. I know how you feel. I've been a loner most of my life, it seems. I hope you make friends. It took me a while, but I eventually did in college, and now I'm still friends with them, and it's been almost 10 years. So good luck, and at least you always have us to talk to on this site :)

I can relate. I've been pretty much alone for the 4 years i was in college (I'm INFJ) By the time of my graduation all my close friends has either changed majors or moved and being the only Asian in most of my classes didn't help either.

My advice to you is, try to occupy yourself with a hobby, i mainly focused on Gym/jogged/running you'll be surprsed how good it makes you feel. I also put the rest of my attention more on my acadamics. That is what college is to GET A GOOD EDUCATION.

And do not worry, you have your family you can lean on when you are lonely, or feeling down. This is a life experiment, a way to help you be INDEPENDENT in your future.

Best of luck to you.

fyi, those group of punks that were making fun of you are doing so out of their own insecurity. they are just as afraid, otherwise they wouldn't have stooped so low as to pick on you. we all want to be accepted and have a place to belong.

man, my situation is pretty similar to yours. in my high school i used to have two or one friends, i know that is not too many but at least it was satisfying in sense of social need but after i got into university i have not had a single person on this earth that i can call a friend and so i think that was one of the reasons that caused me to fail my first year courses. Now, i am in second year and i am really afraid that i fail or struggle in this current year too, because everything is still the same my contact list in my cell phone is still empty and i am still so alone even though i could be able to achieve little improvements somehow.

Yeah same here dude, we're all in the same boat.

I used to have a nice bunch of friends in the first year...but guess what, they all graduated. And they're now working/extremely busy.

I go to school alone everyday, and there's no one for me to talk to. My old friends from high-school, well they've emigrated too.

Bummer.

Anyway most days I talk to my cat.

Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself in my head. Its creepy, but its the only way I cope with the loneliness.

I try to talk to other people and we stay friends for a while. But the odd thing is that after 1-2 times they just disappear. And avoid or never contact me again.

I have no idea whats going on. And to make matters worse, now I'm constantly sick everyday. I am so tired. Okay bye guys, think I'm going to sleep.

Story of my life. I moved from downstate Ny to wayyy upstate Ny. Aside from seeing people my age talk about how shit-faced they got over the weekend and how horrible the person who just left the room is, I can't make friends.
I'm commuting to a community college.
The first semester, I focused on my grades. I wasn't looking to make friends, so I wasn't even friendly to other people. But the second semester, I began to need to socialize, so I started acting as my usual, laid back self. People here can't handle being disliked. And they love talking about themselves. So they'll talk to you for an hour about stupid shit, or stuff you're both interested in. Whether the conversation is great or you're just nodding your head because you're happy to be socializing; the second you suggest hanging out, they act as though you're asking them to marry you. They'll give you a fake number or give you their actual number. Either way, when you text- they never say anything back. EVERY TIME.From where I'm from, when you meet someone you have a good talk with, you hangout with them. If you don't like them, then you don't hangout with them again. That's all.
I've even gone up to the local 4 year University and tried to meet people, but 4 year school kids are usually sheltered. So, of course, it's impossible to make any friends.
Here I am in my 3rd semester and it's all weighing down on me a lot. I don't talk to anyone in person unless I'm home, (I actually had a normal social life before I moved). I actually stopped trying to make friends this semester. I'd rather not try than try and fail.
I hope you didn't read all that. I just needed to say it. Good luck, OP

yea thats pretty cold, i used to get fully reected in school and i mean this in the best way, its cos i was fat and a total pussy, i was n easy target, so i lost weight and stopped taking everyones shit, things got better, got worse first but eventually got better.
best possible advice i can give ya mate is try and be more confident, people really do respond to it, n on ya room mate side of things, just ignore him, if he dont like u dont give him the time of day. things will get better mate, trust, and like hotchickie says you still got people online to chat to so ya aint always on ya own.
best of luck mate

i feel the same way. you can be my friend. the people at my school are fucking wierd

The one thing I can suggest is use one of your hobbies and join a club or group where you can find like-minded people. I personally am attracted to people who are independent and not needy. As you get on in life I think you come to realize how many people are actually worth your time and energy. If you have family you are not ever alone. Appreciate what you do have. There is nothing wrong with being a happy loner!

dude just try not worrying about it so much. i know it's way easier said than done, but really it helps. you can try going to lunch or dinner and sitting by other people that are by themselves. just remember you're never alone and there's always someone thinking the same way you are.

Dude, Ive been through the fire. The first year in college, people hated me. But guess what? I NEVER GAVE UP. I DETERMINED THAT WHATEVER THE FUCK ANYONE DID, I WOULD MAKE FRIENDS BEFORE THE NEXT SEM. And beleive it or not, the NEXT SEMESETR, I was one of the most POPULAR GUYS AROUND!!!!!!
How did I do it?
The magic of Self beleif. Please try this, I dont want you to miss out on turning ur life around just cz u waana think "this guys a crazy nut, this is BS".
Beleive that people like you. Thats what I did. Whever I saw someone, I said in my mind, "You like me. You like me" Over and over. And I BELEIVED i was popular.
And today, I am.
Its simple. You know you want to have the kind of change I did. Going from loner to Most wanted guy in college! Just BELEIVE, and itl happen. God luck :)

i had the same problem, but now i have ''friends'' who i dont like. they never hang out with anneyone and are just as lame as me

Wow. I can completely relate to this one, but this has always been my situation. But guess what? One of my biggest regrets is that I put so much time and attention into trying to make friends that I never focused on being a friend to myself. Yes, I know we are suppose to get along with others and be sociable, BUT it is so important to love yourself first. I'm not saying you don't, but I do know that if you are constantly getting rejected by worthless people it will wear you down. My suggestion is find out what YOU like to do. Do you like to read, sing, play music, help the needy, exercise? Whatever it is YOU like to do, go do it. And if you do like to do activities that are more solitary like reading, then find a book club and join it. If you never have close friends, so what! I find that having social relationships; people just to hang out with from time to time are better because you will avoid having people too deep in your business. But you will still have social outlets and that's all you need.

Don't worry about it everyone at one point in there life has felt the same way you are feeling. I'm actually feeling really alone myself right now because a lot of my friends have back stabbed me and lied to me so i cut out a lot of my friends. It really sucks right now but just remember you have your family and that is all that should matter because they care about you for you are. You just need to be open to people and trust me you don't want to be friends with those kind of people who make fun of other kids. I use to be that guy and i regretted making peoples life miserable. Be friends with people who accept you for you are and you will find that i promise you. Just lift your head up and be confident in yourself. I really wish i could talk to you to help make you feel better :P but you'll do just fine yourself im sure

You're not at UW are you? I vaguely have the same problem, but it's totally the school. Just don't worry about it so much. Sounds impossible, but you know - College is a pain in the ass no matter what, even with a lot of friends.

Did you have good friends in high school, or has it always been like this? Sometimes it takes awhile. I know I didn't make any friends my first semester of college, but 2 years in I've found the perfect social group and I'm really happy. So it may just take a little patience until you find a group of people you fit in with.

If you've always had trouble making friends, you might want to change some of your behaviors. Confidence is everything. If you don't have it, just pretend that you do for awhile. Smile more, speak your mind, and look at people when you talk to them. People love talking about themselves, so if you find yourself struggling to think of conversation topics, ask the person something about their life. Think of activities you like to do and try to find a group that does them to join.

Are you sure your roommates hate you? The key to having roommates that like you is to be a good roommate yourself. Keep your place clean, do your fair share of the chores, and be nice to them. Also, they might dislike you if you're always moping around the room, because it means they never get it to themselves, and most college newcomers really miss having any privacy. So go out sometimes, even if you're not sure what to do. You can go for a walk or to the library or something, which will give you more chances to meet people anyway. You might never be friends with your roomies, but at least you can get along well with them if you make an effort.

Most of u are in ur freshmen yr, I'm starting my 3rd yr at college..and I still don't have too many frnds, especially in class. I practically sit all alone in class during free hrs or before classes begin or even during lunch. At first it was weird, now I'm kind of used to being alone. Tomorrow is the starting of a new semester and I'm really sure dat its not going to be gr8.

Being alone has made me a better person as I realized my mistakes and also I'm more focused on my academics. So don't worry, everything happens for a good reason.

story of my life!

I haven't had a big problem making friends since I was in middle school. But I've always felt like making friends came easier to me when I just relaxed and didn't really care that much about what people thought of me.

Now that I have friends, I've also noticed that most of them were the same way, and were confident enough not to let such things get them down.

much easier said than done, I'll admit. But try to be yourself, stick to what you belive, and talk to people when the opportunity arises, and most likely, eventually, somebody who has some similair interests will take notice and you may make a friend or two.

I go to the college of st. rose in Albany, and I totally feel the same way. Everything that you have described it is happening to me. Each time I go to the Dining hall its all eyes on me, I hear whispers, and people laughing at me I really don't know why. I don't have any friends in school, and my roommate also hates me because he used to always have sex in the room while I was there, and that pissed me off.

The people who used to be my friends in school doesn't want me around them because they think I'm so lame, and I know it hurts, I just wish you the best of best though, and keep your head up.

By the way, I've actually had a group of 3 guys RUN from me. I was talking to these guys at the local 4 year University. We talked for about an hour. They said they were going to a party and when I asked, they told me I could text them and they'd get me in. Cool. I text them and get no reply. So later, I'm driving, about to go home feeling like a failure, and I see them walking. I pull over and open the window.
>"What happened, dude? I texted you guys".
(Maybe because I'm from downstate, I'm a bit too straight forward for upstaters. Oh, well. I think that's a respectable quality).
>"Oh, hey, bro. Yeah, the party's on this street".
(He's sticking his head in the window talking to me. He lifts his head out, looks at his friend and says quietly "...ya wanna just sprint? it's right there...")
They very, very, briskly walk away.
Now, I don't know if they were afraid of me or they just didn't wanna say no. I mean, shit, I'm their fucking age. I don't look like a perv or anything, fuck. I look completely well adjusted and normal, without looking like a typical frat boy my age. And if they didn't want another dick in a sausage fest, or they didn't think they could get in with me, then they could've told me. I get that, I know how it goes. *To be honest, I could've put on my "Mr Awesome" persona and helped try and get them laid, although, I'm not the kind to hookup with random girls myself*
Once again, that's not really advice, I'm just hoping OP will feel better about himself while I take this load off my chest. Shit

I respect all the comments in here cuz everyone understands what it is like.. for me personally, i know how you feel and what ur going through. When i was in hs i had a small group of people i could call my friends.. but with time they started to dissipate and before i knew it.. bam college and they are all gone. I feel lonely but i dont think about it too much.. i just feel bored all the time. And when i feel a certain way, i want advice and reassurance but i got nobody to turn to. my family offers me a lot of help but it can only go so far. And about the comment where you talk to urself in ur head.. well i talk to myself out loud .. lol.. yes i do and as weird as that sounds.. that is probably the main reason why i made an account.. is to say that. Honestly i do think im crazy for talking to myself.. but thats the only way i can vent and get my mind straight...my only other coping method is playing basketball and xbox 360... thats it... so i guess my irrelavent advice to anyone who takes it is that you should do what ur passionate about and occupy ur time so you dont think about all the negative shit.. trust me it will help you sleep at night... and just vent off all the crap that builts up in you, dont hold it in.. it wil show and other ppl will be repulsed by it... and lastly lol, just dont give ppl the power to lugh at you.. laugh bak at them.. act crazy .. or if worst comes to worst punch them in the face .. after all what do you got to lose

i understand how each and everyone of you feel. im an 18 year old freshmen in college and find it very complicated to make friends. it's like I introduce myself to people, have a nice conversation with them and get to know them very well, but after a while they just act all stand offish and when I say hello to some people, they say hello back like why is this guy talking to me and I can sometimes tell they are uncomfortable being around me. I am a very caring and friendly person, but no one seems to understand. for instance, i met this guy at pride and we had a nice conversation, asked for my facebook added me as a friend and he told me he was going to email me his phone number because he had to meet up with different people at the park. so on the next day, he deleted me as a friend and i was shocked, i almost cried. i found that rude. i dont get it! is there something wrong with me? i spent about three months not making friends in college and i felt emotionally depressed. people are so mean, rude and fake in this world. i may cry up a storm, but unfortunately i have to be my own best friend. life sucks being alone, but that's just how it is and i wish it weren't that way. back in high school, i didn't really have friends. everyone would be seperated into their so called "cliqy groups". it was hard for me to fit in. a lot of guys were uncomfortable being around me. my life was horrible. ive been picked on ever since the sixth grade about my homosexuality. in high school, the friends i had would treat me different by cursing me out and talking about me behind my back. in college, im still going through this process of trying to make friends and no one seems to have an interest in me. im naturally friendly,funny, caring and outgoing and i just dont get why people dont want to hang around me.

AN HONEST ANSWER THAT WILL MAKE PEOPLE STOP WALKING AWAY/STARING. Look in the mirrior. do you look like everyone else? no, im not saying you have to conform. But if you have greasy hair, or you need to wash your face, people are going to notice. do you smell? how often do you shower? if you're a guy-shower every day DO NOT FORGET DEODORANT. if you hair is longer than your ears or its cut weirdly... get a new hair cut. if your a girl- try putting on make up. look up makeup tutorials so you can get an idea of how to do it. straighten your hair, dont forget deodorant. TO BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS:clothes dont really matter as much in college... but dont where the same thing everyday. if you're poor, go to a thrift store. anything is better than wearing the same thing. ALWAYS give yourself an hour to get ready in the morning. this is still america, and people feel uncomfortable talking to people who look/smell like they dont take care of themselves. but if your hot, then bitchez will always be jealous and keep doing you

Join a frat or a club. Once you get with a group of people you will feel like you belong. The first year of school is pretty tough but once you feel like you belong it will all right.

I've felt this way many times. When I lived in San Francisco for 2 years I was so withdrawn. Any attempt to make a friend seemed to fizzle. I never felt 'cool' enough for others even though deep down I loved who I was. I have an introverted personality and it took me a long time to accept it. Once I did I was able to start making friends who were respectful of my ways. Try reading the book Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe. It really helped me to accept who my true self. It's ok to not have tons of friends. The media makes it seem as though everyone has this amazing college experience with lots of friends, but in the real world this isn't so. There are a lot of people just like you! There are so many people who just want to meet someone they can be around comfortably. The way I've come to meet people is by participating in some sort of activity with them, whether it's a yoga group, bowling team, photography class, etc. It's a lot easier to meet people when you're doing something you both can relate to. It might be uncomfortable at first to open up to others first, but the more you do it the better you will get. Much love*

Damn bro that's fucked up. JOIN a club or a few youll meet people you actually can relate to and have things in common with. Also see if you can get new roommates if they are dicks

Haha first month? Sounds like being alone is a relatively new feeling for you. No that does not make it any better I know, but sticking it out may be your only option. Keep your mind off of it, work out, watch anime, eat food. It's been almost a year since I started at my university and I do not have a single friend to my name. It's normal to feel alone ESPECIALLY in college, in fact it should be expected (I hope incoming freshmen can take this advice).
LIFE IS UNFAIR. PERIOD. But it's those who can reverse those odds and come out on top who find happiness and success further on in life. ACTIVELY PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. To me that's one of the scariest things you can tell me to do, I am guessing you are in a similar position. You cannot expect friends to come to you, if they don't even know you exist! In highschool I had one friend, before that basically the same situation, so its kind of my nature to have a smaller circle, however if you are transitioning from having a wide circle it can be traumatizing.
YOU CANNOT EXPECT EVERYONE TO LIKE YOU OR BE ON YOUR TERMS. Imagine if you had to be friends with/ happy to everyone you come into contact with... Pretty insane right? That's not how society works and it's great it doesn't. CONVERSATION allows people to understand each other better, letting them MUTUALLY decide whether or not they should continue having connections. Without it people will always question your interests and motives, disabling them from knowing your true self.
I know it sounds like a meme but BE YOURSELF. If you don't, you will attract the wrong people and detract the right ones. Based on the information you gave us its apparent you are pretty displeased on how your society is treating you, IF you put effort, be yourself, and GENUINELY NICE/ UNDERSTANDING OF OTHER PEOPLE, people will hesitate to reject you harshly DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE BY THEIR COVER, EVERYONE HAS HARDSHIPS, STOP THE SELF LOATHING AND SEE OTHERS AS YOUR EQUALS. NO ONE IS OUT THERE SHAKING THE HANDS TOGETHER NEFARIOUSLY TO RUIN YOUR LIFE. HELL I DOUBT THOSE KIDS THAT GAVE YOU SHIT GAVE YOU A SECOND THOUGHT AFTER ABOUT 10 SECONDS.

AFTER TYPING ALL THIS OUT I REALIZE THIS WAS 7+ YEARS AGO LMAO.

Hey it's normal..but it's not easy as saying this..I m a final student and m facing the same situation. I don't have friends in class. I sit alone while sit in groups. I feeling so weird ....actually it's social anxiety. I seriously count days that how many I do have to attend. Guys now I have to go to class just for a month...hostel is okk...i thank God for that.

Hey! I feel like this, I can talk to you if you want, as we can help eachother out?

Wow man I thought I was the only one, this is my second year at college, but I transferred from another college this summer, and Its my second day here and I don't know anyone. I only talk to my roommates but they are just roommates, aside from them I don't know ANYONE. It is hard to make friends in college, and I don't really know what to say, hopefully our luck will change sometime, but if not, that's the way it goes I suppose...

I hope that all of us are gonna meet each other up....so that instead of getting depressed and pissed off by our fucked up lives.... we rather meet up and just laugh at each others stories and faces :)

I also have the same confession and I also have three championship titles,,1.lame 2.loser and 3. weirdo...it was all about not having a common mindset which makes me a not typical teenager. I was only good at acadamics in highschool and I got 4 unique(weirdo) friends. we split up when we are already college students. and I had still 4 friends, 1 is a playboy 2 is a rocker girl and 3 is a fat jolly but good singing guy. we all got fail and delayed. so they transferred school and i was alone then in the same school. my other classmates got turnedoff at me at the first days because of my being too overconfident and I didn't know that it makes people feel insecure w/c I am just trying to be a good example and like them Im also working things out....I got weirder and weirder everytime I get older...but just never forget your positive side. even just one thing that you should know about yourself that makes people like you and always have that thing with yourself :D

well i dnt exactly understand my own case. i tink its the college im in,ery1 here acts like der still in hgh scl n dat sucks!i came here wt an open mind,and intention of makn tons of frends n hvn a blast.but that is not the case. mybe it has to the with the fact that i dint come for springboard or any sort of orientation like that,the first week ery1 was nice and all n willing to actually get to knw me.but after that errthng chnged,I wud c som1 i met the previous day n try smilling at dem or waving,but they would just pass by n act like that dnt know me.iv tried erthn,tlkn to ppl,nothn is wrkin,there was ds girl i met the first day i moved in,sh was nice n sh helpd me find my classes but den d follown week i saw her n she hid her face so i wdnt talk to her.ery1 here is so fake.itz been a month nw n ihvnt realy met any close friends,i cried erryday of my first week here cuz i was soo depressed. i tot i was friends with ds oder girl i met,sh claimed to be nice n real n all wrth not,but den sh decided to rush a sorority n sh sudddenly chnged her behaviour sh strted actn weird any tym sh was wt any of her sorority members. it hurts d most cus i was actually very popular truout high scl n had tons of friends,i dress very trendy to class almost everyday so ionno wat d problm is,i only hv ds one person i cud actuly call my frend but d tin is sh dsnt stay in d dorms sh stays in one of d on campus apartments n its far away from d dorms n i actually met by her accident. i need to atlest mk a frend dt stays in my dorm or a dorm close to mine.its so depressing,my roomate is d wrst sh dislikes me n i dislike her too i asked for a switch but all d slots were filled alredy so it has to b next semester. im js so depressd i tink it might be affecting my grades. ppl always say go out der,b confident make frends join clubs,its not so hard,well easier sed dan done innit?

I am the same way except I'm in high school. Way back in the 7th grade I was pretty much at the top of the popular charts, and well I guess the group of girls I was friends with since the 1st grade didn't feel the same way about the friendship as I did. And well lots of crying and begging for them to take me back later, I never did get them back. They said they didn't want to go back to their old friends, as in me. I never did the mean things they said I did. And I believe they emotionally hurt me more than I ever hurt them. And now everyday I sit alone on the bus, I sit with a group of girls that don't know or really like me at lunch, and I sit with random people in classes. Trust me, after my old group of friends told me to "go get new friends loser", I tried. I mean I think I'm pretty, but boys still pick on me saying things like go shave your face and shit like that. So things like that brought my self esteem pretty low, and now everyday I cake make up all over my face and wax every hair off my body. So anyways the point is, people have never really liked me, I don't know why or what I ever did, but I guess I'm just supposed to be a loner. I have not had a friend over my house or hung out with anyone outside school in about 1 and a half years. I don't know what is wrong with me. If you read all that thanks, I just needed to get it off my chest.

I can relate to you, but trust me, you should make a effort at being nice with people, sometimes people ask for my help, i begin talking to them and we laugh, and they are all like "whoa, you talk a lot when you want, you are always so scary, almost like you want to murder someone"

So yeah, sometimes the fault is mine, i am a little shy, even trough i can make people laugh when i want, i guess i just look angry because of my work, my best friend said i have a "fuck off" aura around me sometimes.

I can so much relate to you. I am having a real hard time here at college because I'm feeling so lonely, I'm always alone, in the breaks, outside school, no body to go to in the weekends, so hope this makes everybody feel better who are the same like me. Let's be friends ? :(

Trust me I know how you feel I have the same problem sort of anyway. I tried making a friend and he refuses to hang out with me. I cannot help you out sorry.