I just decided, i want a hilarious epitaph. iin?

80% Normal
37 Comments

I was just thinking about my tombstone, and I realized I need to act now and make sure I have a hilarious epitaph put on there. I'm so serious about this that I am going to begin thinking on it NOW and actually making it an official legal requirement to have done upon my death.

Of all the times I've been to a cemetery I've never actually seen one (I know they exist but I've never seen one), so I am asking, why??

It's apparently NOT normal to want this?

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 49 votes (39 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 37 )
  • mousie
    11 years ago

    I really like "Be Right Back"

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • myownopinions
    11 years ago

    Just google hilarious epitahs. Here are some that I found:
    -What part of "cremated" didn’t you understand?
    -Born 1960. Buried 2001. Died 2002.
    -Here lies the world’s fattest man. Part 1 of 3.
    -The joke’s on you. I gave it all to charity.
    -See you at the exhumation!
    -You put me in a home and look what happens.
    -Did the insurance company pay? Can I come out now?
    -Beloved wife (pre-op) and brother (post-op).
    -Thanks for giving me my keys back, barkeep.
    -My last words: "Look, ma! No hands!"
    -Here lies a man driven by his quest for immortality.
    -Let the bickering over my estate begin.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • flutterhigh
    11 years ago

    "Help! Someone turned me into a rock!"

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • flutterhigh
      11 years ago

      "Warning necrophiliacs: I have AIDS."

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      2
      2
  • Robinhood
    11 years ago

    I like this one:

    " I TOLD YA I WAS SICK!"

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    Last words, "Hold my beer and watch this shit!" (I hear that a lot where I live)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    You are here.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Shackleford96
      11 years ago

      And then a map of the graveyard below it, lol.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • NoraBaker
        11 years ago

        To get directions please pick up the Ouija board.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Captain_Kegstand
          11 years ago

          HA! I like this XD

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
        • Shackleford96
          11 years ago

          That gave me an amused snort XD

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    "see ya later alligator, in a while crocodile"

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • suckonthis9
    11 years ago

    I'm still alive.
    Death is so overrated.
    I might be dead now, but wait 'till I get home.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Ono
    11 years ago

    Spike Milligan's was always my favorite.

    "I told you I was ill"

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • dappled
      11 years ago

      I never imagined I'd see Spike Milligan quoted here but also I never imagined the best thing he could wish Chris Evans was an early death. I know it sounds harsh, but Spike Milligan was Spike Milligan. If I live long enough to be outspoken, then I'm going to do it too. :)

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • joybird
    11 years ago

    Get off my feet!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    You should read the book: Last Laughs, by Kathleen E. Miller
    That should give you some nice ideas:)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • NoraBaker
    11 years ago

    "LIFE: What happened while I was planning this epitaph."

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Avant-Garde
      11 years ago

      That's a good one.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    Here are some suggestions that you can put on your tombstone as your famous last words:

    "Nice doggy, nice doggy."
    "Hey is that an ambulance"
    "Hey look at what I can do"
    "Please don't break up with me, we can working it out, no don't hang up the phone."

    Here are suggestions that would just be funny to see written on a tombstone but you never actually said:

    "Partying up in heaven right now."
    "Here lies Squidwards hopes and dreams."
    "He was #1"
    "If you're reading this it means that you're my next target to haunt"
    "Don't eat the burritos at Ricky's"

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Shackleford96
      11 years ago

      I like the haunting one :)

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Anime7
        11 years ago

        thanks

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Shackleford96
          11 years ago

          You're welcome :)

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • Gasmasker
    11 years ago

    "To The Necrophiles: I Consent!"

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • theabider
    11 years ago

    Don't worry, you won't miss me, I'll be haunting your bedroom every night.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • nightmare28
    11 years ago

    "Here lies old JD, the good news, he is dead, the bad news, he bred."

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Dulse.
    11 years ago

    "Please, don't go! I'm so Lonely."

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • dalmationUntoyourSoul
    11 years ago

    i don't know i was too busy masturbating

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    My great-grandfather had one that I presume my great-grandmother thought was fitting (although not exactly hilarious). I'm not going to type it exactly because MI's are becoming ever more discoverable, but it's something along the lines of:

    Now he's dead
    He lies here forever
    Cared about by nobody

    They had a tumultuous marriage and he died not long after her fracturing his skull with a pan.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • NoraBaker
      11 years ago

      And does hers say: "I practically murdered stupid." and have an arrow pointing at his? <--

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • dappled
        11 years ago

        If it did, it would have a rather astonishing meaning because in a past internet life, I went by the name "stupid". Genuinely true.

        Although I'm not sure why she'd perpetrate this on her great-grandson.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • NoraBaker
          11 years ago

          Umm... I'll guess you've gone by many in several Internet lives, like a cat with an infinity of 9 lives. ;)

          But your great-grandma's would only be a funny epitaph if it actually referenced the "I'm with stupid" --> bit.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • Anonymous Post Author
            11 years ago

            Ha....you know what, I just might do "I'm with stupid ---->". I used to have the T-shirt, always made me laugh. I guess I have to check into cemetery policy to see what they'd say about that, I'd probably have to at least purchase 2 adjoining plots to even have a chance at them approving it.

            I also have these buttons, one says "Ugly ---->" and the other one says "No, you're ugly <----". A definite possibility!!

            Thanks for the idea!!

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • Faceless
    11 years ago

    Are you living with Herpes? Do you want to find your ---Long Term Relationship---? You are not alone. Dating with 650000+ Herpes Singles in your area Now! 100% Anonymous Herpes Dating.

    ---HerpesLTR dot c om---

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Justsomejerk
      11 years ago

      Funny, but I don't know about putting it on my gravestone.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0