I'm afraid of having a boyfriend

61% Normal

i'm a teen and i never had a boyfriend , i mean..i want to but i think i'm just afraid . if i like a boy i do my best to get him to notice me and become his friend and open up to him , flirt with him and i hope that he asks me out , really get related to him but when he asks me out i reject him like i don't think of him this way
i always reject boys that asks me out even the ones that i like or the one that i love .and i keep on liking them or loving them and i don't want them to move on and i don't want them to keep asking me out cuz it makes me nervous . but i still want a boyfriend not anyone,a perfect one. i konw that no body is perfet and i'm not perect but that's what i feel like .and if anyone asks me if i ever had a boyfriend , i always say that i had boyfriendss before . is that normal ?

Voting Results

61% Normal

Based on 33 votes (20 yes)

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Comments ( 26 )

Crμsades

9 years ago

Stop leading people on you dumb cunt.

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- molk
  
  9 years ago
  
  thanks for understanding is this your advice for me , i'm not trying to lead people on me for fun , if i do something to make a guy notice me that's mean i like him okay i'm just afraid of having a serious relationship and having a bf , i wanted advices that why i wrote that. u don't have to be rude
  
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mountain-man82

9 years ago

If you are afraid to be in a relationship, then stop flirting with them and work on yourself first so that you can be ready for a relationship and wont always be leading these guys on.

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- molk
  
  9 years ago
  
  thanks for the advice :)
  that why i already chosen to get back
  
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  - mountain-man82
    
    9 years ago
    
    Honestly I dont understand what you just said. Im not trying to make fun of you, just wanting to understand what you just wrote.
    
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    - molk
      
      9 years ago
      
      i mean that i took a step back , from boys
      i stopped leading boys on
      just that cuz i couldn't work on myself
      
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      - mountain-man82
        
        9 years ago
        
        Well that it a very good thing.
        
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green_boogers

9 years ago

Try a double date with a female friend and her boyfriend. Perhaps, the 4 of you could go to a football game.

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Whiskdow

9 years ago

You're probably worried about breaking up.Or ending it that you just avoid it.

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- molk
  
  9 years ago
  
  guess so
  
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-_-

9 years ago

I know what you mean.

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- molk
  
  9 years ago
  
  i hope u really mean it
  cuz no one understands me before when it comes to this !
  
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CoraCook

9 years ago

As well you should, my dear, as well you should.

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- molk
  
  9 years ago
  
  i don't understand what u just sad !!
  should what !
  
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thegypsysailor

9 years ago

Thanks for taking the time and investing the effort, so that your post is easy to read and comprehensive. It really makes one want to jump right in and take the time and effort to offer you constructive advice, NOT!

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- molk
  
  9 years ago
  
  thanks i really appreciate that
  
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zoffix

9 years ago

Sounds like you're a plain and simple asshole :) You lead guys on just to reject them? Bad.

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LAR23

9 years ago

I used to do the same thing, and I ended up rejecting the only guy I actually really liked. I would say to take a step back from dating (which you said you have) and wait for some you REALLY like, someone close to your "perfect boyfriend".. OR just dive into it. If you think you'll regret holding back, just do it. If you think it's not worth it, don't. Whatever won't leave you with regrets later.

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- molk
  
  9 years ago
  
  i ended up rejecting the only guy that i actually love he's saying that he still love me but he'll never come back ! the reason why i reject him is that he broke my heart before he was my only and first love . and that's what makes me more afraid of dating boys cause i don't wanna get hurt anymore .but even the one that i love comes back to me i think i would reject him again even i love him but i think i did the right thing cause he can hurt me again and again . in the same time i still think of him .
  i'm sure that love is an amazinf feeling but once u get hurt this would destroy u for good . that's why i choose to get back but is this really a solution !!
  u sad that i have to wait but love won't search for me
  i really don't know what should i do ? i'm so confused !
  for now i'm taking a step back but this is only for now !
  i really wanna have an honest relationship , i wanna love somebody and he loves too but without suffering ! is that so impossible ?
  
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  - LAR23
    
    9 years ago
    
    I think it is possible, when you find the right person. :) It's hard to wait but don't settle for someone you know will hurt you.. you don't deserve that
    
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green_boogers

9 years ago

TRUST is the issue. If they ask you out, give them your phone number instead. Try talking on the phone with boys for an hour or so every night. After a few months, you will feel more relaxed around some of them.

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- molk
  
  9 years ago
  
  even when boys that i feel relaxed around ask me out the first thing that comes to my mind is to say just know cuz this makes me nervous!
  the problem is that i have trust issues with everybody not only boys.
  even when i really like the guy i think of him all the time and i wish that he asks me out but when i really think about it , i change my mind i'm just not sure ! maybe the problem is that i can't make a decision especially when it comes to dating.
  i know this seems weird or some of u would call this cocky or immature but i'm really honest about it! when i meet some guy and i like him , in some point i want to start a relationship with him!
  but once he didn't ask me out in this period of time, in some way i move on and don't come back only when it comes to dating him but i keep on having some feelings to this person .i don't know if any of u have the same problem but i'm sure that's not normal
  i really need some help!!
  
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  - green_boogers
    
    9 years ago
    
    Hey kid, you're normal. Of course you like guys that don't notice you. It's an imperfect world. Same is true for most 40 year old women.
    
    What you need is practice handling boys. Social artistry is the vitamin for life. Get practicing. Learn to be nice to boys you don't feel a connection with and put in the "friend zone" gracefully. Learn to adjust the social distance between you and other people. The way to learn social grace is practice, practice, practice. It isn't easy, expect to stumble and fall. Call a guy tonight - a march of a thousand mile begins with the first step.
    
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    - molk
      
      9 years ago
      
      thnx for the advice ,i really appreciaste that
      i will work on that.
      but u don't know what ! i don't mind talking to boys!
      i have more guyfriends than girl friends , i feel relaxed arownd my guy friends more than my girl friends
      even my best frien is a boy
      if i like a boy more than friends, i do talk to him all the time but only by texting him , i feel nervous when i talk to him face to face
      i am nice only with my guy friends and boys that i like more than friends ! why ? cause i can't be myself with stranger boys and cannot feel relaxed arownd, so that's my way to deal with them and that's a problem
      so i'm gonna try to work on ur advice about trying to be nice with strangers . and maybe i'm rejecting everyone who asks me out cause i'm really afraid of being a heart broken girl again , i've been through that before . it's sucks and u cannot get out of it easly , even when u think u moved on some memories came back and destroy u again and again .
      my problem is just thinking about some guy asks me out makes me nervous so i immediately say no !
      
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      - green_boogers
        
        9 years ago
        
        Those boys need to become social artists as well. You need to learn to put your attraction to them on the back burner, and figure out what their personality is really like. Practice will get you there. Adolescent hormones (both for boys and girls) makes it a difficult job.
        
        Try to get comfortable in your own skin.
        
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        molk
        
        9 years ago
        
        i'll try to
        thnx
        
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I'm afraid of having a boyfriend