I'm bestowing myself with honorary degrees and titles. iin?

27% Normal

I'm declaring myself Master of the Universe based on the fact that I know more than the smartest guys did back in the 17 or 1800's and prior.

See, the logic is, those guys may be dead now but we'd still call them by their respective titles (Dr, Esq, expert, finest, best or whatever) even though they'd hardly compare to a modern doctor/expert/best of. So...I'm just pretending I am a time traveler who visits the olden days and rules the fucking world with all my knowledge and when I return to the modern era I retain my titles and glory.

The world is my oyster, what are ya gonna do about it??

IIN?

(please refer to me by my all-encompassing title, "HNIC", in your responses. Thanks.)

Voting Results

27% Normal

Based on 44 votes (12 yes)

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Comments ( 33 )

cantheist

11 years ago

Take your thorazine.

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dappled

11 years ago

Umm, you know the sum of all human knowledge is from people who are now in the past, right?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  But of course, each contributing small pieces to the GIANT puzzle that I have knowledge of. I clearly have the advantage.
  
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  - dappled
    
    11 years ago
    
    Well, yeah, but they're the ones who discovered it. You're not even the teacher of it. You're just the pupil who learned it. Without them nobody would have the knowledge. Without you, what changes?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      Yeah but their information came at a trickle and was spread out too thin. I've got a ton of information all at once on all sorts of different subjects.
      
      This is a completely self-centered adventure! I'm not out to change anything besides myself! I've got to go for a bit, I'm going on a mission to try to get Knighted. For me the journey will take months but to you it won't appear I have left at all.
      
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      - dappled
        
        11 years ago
        
        God knows why I'm arguing with you. This is all kind of funny. I support you in your mission!
        
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        OK, I'm back. Nailed it!!....Call me 'Sir HNIC' from here on out.
        
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- NeuroNeptunian
  
  11 years ago
  
  What a concept!
  Maybe YOU should be Master of the Universe!
  
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  - dappled
    
    11 years ago
    
    Heh! I'm not even master of my own bedroom. I woke up this morning and the covers were trying to strangle me.
    
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    - NeuroNeptunian
      
      11 years ago
      
      THOSE BASTARDS!
      
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      - dappled
        
        11 years ago
        
        I know! You'd think this kind of thing would get blanket coverage in the news but, nope, my suffering is kept under cover.
        
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        NeuroNeptunian
        
        11 years ago
        
        >=( Don't worry, we'll spread awareness together of the brutality of blankets!
        
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    11 years ago
    
    Let's not forget who's the HNIC here. I'm not taking applications at the moment.
    
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fullhouse

11 years ago

You need to get laid dude.. I guess some intergalactic sheep will do for you! :-P

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dirtybirdy

11 years ago

Did He-man approve of this?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I went back in time and gave myself that title before He-Man was created, so what really happened was....He-Man actually had to get permission from ME to use 'Master of the Universe'.
  
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  - dirtybirdy
    
    11 years ago
    
    Oh i see. That's fantastic! You rule.
    
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DADNSCAL

8 years ago

Leonardo Da Vinci is just 1 example of a true genius you can't even compare yourself to. He was a Pinter, sculptor, scientist, anatomist, engineer,,and philosopher. Her could draw with 1 hand and take note with the other BACKWARDS! So you're a moron in comparison.

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justsomekidfromcanada

11 years ago

I can guarantee you that the smartest people in the 1800's knew way more than you. So you finished high school science; congrats. You may know the basic concepts but you have no where near the understanding of a genius even from the 1600's. If you actually were smart enough to know more than them, than you wouldn't be stupid enough to make such an outlandish claim.

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dom180

11 years ago

I'm not sure it works when you tell us all you're pretending...

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I only said I was pretending because I know that laying this out as fact opens me up to too much disbelief. It's just too much for the average Joe to accept, I didn't want to spend too much time answering technical questions and having my integrity on trial.
  
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Avant-Garde

11 years ago

I read "Titles" as "Titties". a sure sign indeed that it's late and need to sleep.

To answer your question: No. A much better "Master of the Universe" would be Stephan Hawking or even better, why not make a Superstring the "Master of the Universe"?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  You can't bring a wheelchair through the time portal. Besides, Stephen Hawking has NO street smarts.
  
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robbieforgotpw

11 years ago

Hey OP:

I'm king of Dumps, I am second to noone at that. I can fart anyone including you under the table. I have the crown...king of Dumps.

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Faceless

11 years ago

Head Nigga In Charge, Im a Jedi Shaman. We should team up and fight evil. Evil like aggressive panhandlers, Jehovah Witnesses, Micheal Bay movies and such.

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- robbieforgotpw
  
  11 years ago
  
  The useless Michael Moore's movies too.
  
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suckonthis9

11 years ago

Dear all-encompassing HNIC:

This "Master of the Universe", is quite a claim.
I think that there might be Very Highly Advanced Technological Civilisations (VHATC's) elsewhere in the Universe, that might take exception to this claim.
They have no qualms with you regarding this declaration, however, they inform me that in order to be a "Master of the Universe", one first needs to understand the Universe. For this reason, they humbly make a request for all your knowledge regarding the Universe, and that you should share this knowledge with others on this web post.
Furthermore, they have informed me that it is Unethical for a creature to have a desire to rule a planet or the Universe, according to their accepted practices. They will, however, waive this, should you be able to prove that you have greater knowledge of the Universe than they.

Your humble and Enlightened fellow human,
suckonthis9.

Post Script: Please provide information as to how time travel is possible, both towards the past and towards the future.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  It's astounding, time is fleeting
  Madness takes its toll
  But listen closely, not for very much longer
  I've got to keep control
  
  I remember doing the Time Warp
  Drinking those moments when
  The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling
  Let's do the time warp again...
  Let's do the time warp again!
  
  It's just a jump to the left
  And then a step to the right
  With your hands on your hips
  You bring your knees in tight
  But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,
  Let's do the Time Warp again!
  
  It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me
  So you can't see me, no not at all
  In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention
  Well-secluded, I see all
  With a bit of a mind flip
  You're there in the time slip
  And nothing can ever be the same
  You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation
  Let's do the Time Warp again!
  
  Oh, oops, did I get my time travel device mixed up with my iPod again??
  
  Clever ruse, sir, but not clever enough!! You'll never get my secrets, and any peon out there in the universe who wishes to challenge me may do so directly by visiting me here in my lair. You and I both know there's no one out there who dares (or is able) to challenge the HNIC.
  
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  - suckonthis9
    
    11 years ago
    
    Dear (Now Diminished) "Amateur of the Universe" HNIC:
    
    I would be very careful if I were you, as to who you are calling a "peon". They have informed me that they will visit you in your lair. They have also asked me to inform you that they regard you as a "slow, stupid human creature". Dare they will, they will challenge you, and there is virtually nothing you can do, except vacating your lair and never returning.
    Furthermore, the lyrics that you have cited, from the song "The Time Warp", from the 1973 musical "The Rocky Horror Show" and later adapted (1975) to the film "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", should have been credited to the composer, Richard O'Brien. It seems that you do not even have a knowledge of the music universe, let alone the actual Universe.
    
    Your humble and Enlightened (now distancing myself from you) fellow human,
    suckonthis9.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      I waited up all night, they didn't show. Title retained!
      
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      - suckonthis9
        
        11 years ago
        
        I had not said that they would do it tonight.
        They could do it at any time in the future, as long as you're in your lair.
        You have invited them.
        
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kelili

11 years ago

HNIC thanks for the laugh. At nearly nine in the morning it's rare that somebody can make me smile like that.

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Are You Normal?

I'm bestowing myself with honorary degrees and titles. iin?