I'm depressed, hate myself.... but i don't feel "broken".

83% Normal
3 Comments

It's the one thing that has nagged me in all the years I've researched online about various mental health issues, especially ones revolving around negative states of mind, personality, or feelings.

A common one is people feeling apparently "broken". Especially if they're depressed, su!cidal, so on.

I'm definitely in the lowest period of my entire life. I'm not suffering from heartbreak but I have experienced grief and losses. But I've never felt 'broken'. I can't relate, whatsoever. There are times when I think there's something wrong with me, and maybe there is on some level, and I spend endless hours trying to fix myself or my problems - but never do I ever think, or feel - like I am some shattered mirror that they always conjure up the image of.

Honestly, not relating to this makes me doubt how severe my mental health actually is, but if I'm not 'broken', I must be better off, right? I've not gotten to the boss stage of depression yet. I've definitely felt defeated from life, sick, tired of doing things, bored, anhedonic, and just like nothing matters, quite hopeless, helpless and powerless at times.

I think feeling 'broken' relates to certain personality types who have felt those feelings since childhood. I've had depressed episodes throughout my life, but I've always felt there's something wrong with OTHER people, it's OTHER people who are messed up, and despite my issues, I have my shit together. Until now. Sorta. But I'm not broken!

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 6 votes (5 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 3 )
  • HoooBoy
    1 year ago

    >Honestly, not relating to this makes me doubt how severe my mental health actually is, but if I'm not 'broken', I must be better off, right?

    There are no suffering Olympics. If you don't feel broken, you're still suffering. Whether you're in 4 inches of water or 10 feet, you're drowning either way. And when you say the problem is situational, you're not entirely wrong. The world is a hellish place right now with a few elites getting more and more money by throwing the rest of us through the meat grinder, with all the daily bad news and war, etc it is actually because of other people as well. What I've been told when I start to feel miserable is to focus on the things I have control over. Sure, I can't rescue all the innocent people in Ukraine, but I can take care of my cats and partner and volunteer in my community. It makes me feel like my life is worth something when everything else is too much. I have Bipolar II so my episodes are mainly long, deep depressions. If you can,try to get into a few therapy sessions so that you can learn some more coping skills. I hope that you feel better soon. People are surprisingly resilient, and you,too, are a People!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Iambillythemenacetosociety
      1 year ago

      "The world is a hellish place right now with a few elites getting more and more money by throwing the rest of us through the meat grinder, with all the daily bad news and war, etc. it is actually because of other people as well."

      I really like how your kind complains about how people in power "throws everyone in the meat grinder" in order to make their money, like you and everyone else wouldn't do the same if it guaranteed to make you a lot of money.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • ospry
    1 year ago

    Some people feel broken, some feel lost, some feel alone, confused or any combination of feelings like these. The fact that you feel depressed but wouldn't describe yourself as broken would suggest to me that you're secure in who you are and what you're capable of. That doesn't make your mental health any easier than anyone else's depression because that's an entirely subjective measure

    This was an interesting read. I hope things improve for you

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0