I'm obsessed with my friend

3 Comments

I am unhealthily obsessed with my friend and I don't know what to do. This isn't a poll because I know it isn't normal. I think about them all the time and message them at least twice an hour, and get anxious when they don't respond quickly enough. We tell each other all our secrets. I'm not attracted to them but I feel like we have a special connection and they're the only one who really gets me and enjoys being around me. I know they have other friends but I don't. They were busy with some friends the other day and I became terrified that they hated me because I said something wrong during our last call which logically makes no sense because they call me all the time and have told me multiple times that we'll be friends forever and they could never hate me, but I still fell into this state of horrible paranoia and depression at the thought of losing them. I can't see a therapist right now but I know this needs to stop. Does anybody have any advice?

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Comments ( 3 )
  • shoka2322
    2 years ago

    I am totally obsessed with my now ex best friend. I was used to seeing him every day at college. He abandoned me in the summer of 2018 because he found a girlfriend. He never explained why so it's just speculation. I have only seen him one time since. He acted like nothing was wrong between us, but continued to ignore my attempts to reach out after. I noticed that over time, it took him longer and longer to respond to my messages, until it stopped altogether. When I found out in January of 2019 that he was dating someone, I got depressed for a month and lost 20 pounds. My life has not been the same since because I am preoccupied with thoughts about him daily. I don't really have other friends either. That's why him leaving me was such a big blow.

    My understanding is that you haven't lost them yet, right? There is no need to be depressed until it happens, but I can understand being very anxious. When I went to college and didn't know where he was for 1 day, I got very anxious. I was very fearful of him getting a girlfriend. I joined this site because I wanted to know if my obsession with him was normal, and that was nearly 5 years ago.

    I can identify with everything you have posted here. When he would hang out with other friends I was also terrified. I wanted to always do things with him. One time he did something with friends last minute and didn't invite me so I was very upset by it. A few days ago, he made a snapchat post that all his added friends could see. I saw it because he has never removed me. This was the first post I saw from him since the ghosting began. Apparently, he was in times square in New York. I hope he continues to post more. I also really hope he dumps his stupid girlfriend of nearly 3 years and stays single.

    When I was around him, I felt special and cared for. I miss him so much. I check his name on google and social media daily just incase there is something new. I won't know exactly why he ghosted me unless he tells me directly.

    My advice for you is do your best not to be too overbearing and possessive. You don't have to agree with them hanging out with other friends, but don't force them into changing plans. I was used to following my friend everywhere, and I guess this could be why he ghosted me. I often wonder if I hadn't done that, would he still be in contact with me. Feel free to do everything they invite you to. I totally understand what you're going through. I truly hope that you don't end up like me: ghosted, upset and alone. Good luck!

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    • helpermonkey2
      2 years ago

      Just ask him why he dumped you. Sounds like you had something beautiful going on. I guess he wouldn't mind.

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  • RoseIsabella
    2 years ago

    You need to get out more, and meet more people.

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