I'm scared of scratching my a**hole

24% Normal

Is it normal I'm afraid of scratching my asshole? I think it will swallow my hand whole or bite it or I'll get a smell on my fingers or someone will see me and record it or I'll tear my anus or my finger will slip inside or I'll fart loud or I'll crap myself or there might be a tracking device on my finger that will crawl up my ass and aliens will find me or a little kid will see me and imitate me or my boss wil fire me for scratching my ass while cooking.

Is it normal this paranoid

Voting Results

24% Normal

Based on 411 votes (99 yes)

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Comments ( 215 )

Mister_Nobody

10 years ago | pl

Perhaps you should spend less time musing over the endless possible consequences of sodomising yourself, and pay more attention during English lessons.

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- oioioioiT_T
  
  2 years ago
  
  aha!
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Freak !
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  GO HOME AND LEAVE MY DIAMONDS ALONE!
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  SHHHHH!
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  MAKE ME AND MY DIAMONDS A SANDWICH AND IT BETTER BE GOOD!
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    10 years ago
    
    Give back the diamonds which you stole, Aku!!!! *brandishes sword*
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      I HARVESTED THESE DIAMONDS FROM MY DIAMOND MINE MYSELF!
      
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      - Avant-Garde
        
        10 years ago
        
        Let me guess, your diamond mine is really your asshole? No wonder you don't want anything going near it… I hope you pay that mining team well. High pay and no less is what they deserve after witnessing such horrors!
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        JEALOUS!
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Served!
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Mmmmhmmm
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  GOT IT!!
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Before you wreck yoself!
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    9 years ago
    
    Shake ya ass! Watch yourself! Shake ya ass! Show me what you working with!
    
    (I hope I got his pronunciation correct.)
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      GUUUUUURL
      
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Check yoself!
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    10 years ago
    
    You were never meant to be a rapper!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO HAVE DIAMONDS
      
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      - MasterOfWaffles
        
        10 years ago
        
        They are not heat resistant enough. Cubic zirconia or boron nitride crystals are just about as hard and more heat resistant.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        What the hell are you talking about you nerd
        
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      - Avant-Garde
        
        10 years ago
        
        But, diamonds are a girl's best friend! Which means that men aren't supposed to have them!
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        IM GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO TWERK!
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  So don't try to correct me!!
  
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confusedandworried

10 years ago | pl

I'm also scared of scratching your asshole. I vote normal.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Good! I'll let you have some diamonds you slave!
  
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CozmoWank

10 years ago

This post just doesn't smell right to me.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  It smells like your mom's boobs!
  
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  - CozmoWank
    
    10 years ago
    
    My mother is deceased.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      IM SORRY
      
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      AND IF YOURE JOKING YOU ARE A FUCKED UP PERSON!
      
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      - CozmoWank
        
        10 years ago
        
        Not as fucked up as you!!!
        She's very much alive and well!
        Maybe next time you'll think twice before you post shit.
        
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        [Old Memory]
        
        10 years ago
        
        That's not cool actually. **throws CosmoWank into armodillo pit**
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        IM NOT FUCKED UP
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        ILL THINK ABOUT IT....
        
        NOT!
        
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dirtybirdy

10 years ago

What a load of shit.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  No!! STOP IT!
  
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[Old Memory]

10 years ago

It is only normal if you are a butt slut.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  I don't want to be a butt slut!!
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    10 years ago
    
    Oh, but you will be. You will be!
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      10 years ago
      
      That is probably pretty close to the truth actually....one of these days...
      
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        GO GET A DILDO!
        
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        Avant-Garde
        
        10 years ago
        
        http://www.randyxboy.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/bad_dragon-tentacle_02_full.png
        
        There's something very endearing and heartwarming about this set. *sheds tear*
        
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      No! YOU JUST WANT MY DIAMONDS!
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        10 years ago
        
        ButtSLUT!!
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        HORSE SLUT!
        
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        10 years ago
        
        Oh hell no!
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        STAY AWAY FROM MY DIAMONDS!
        
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      NO!
      
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    10 years ago
    
    You can't escape your fate!
    
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iflex4lyfe

10 years ago

First off if your hand was swallowed whole by your ass you may find it not so unpleasant.

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megadriver

10 years ago

Dude, you feeling ok?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  NO!
  
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RoseIsabella

10 years ago

I call bullshit on this one!

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- MasterOfWaffles
  
  10 years ago
  
  Smells more like human shit to me.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  TOO BAD!
  
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  - MasterOfWaffles
    
    10 years ago
    
    TOO GOOD!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      TOO
      
      FUCKING
      
      BAD
      
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Mersaphe

10 years ago

It means you like having things inserted in your anus, like in prison for example.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  I BET YOU DO TOO!
  
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  - MasterOfWaffles
    
    10 years ago
    
    So do you.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      I BET YOUD LIKE A 12 FOOT DILDO IN YOUR ASS
      
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      - Avant-Garde
        
        9 years ago
        
        Foot dildos, eh? Just when I thought that I see everything… There's not just one of them but, there are twelve of them! *hops into ship headed for Mars*
        
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

Oh dear god. I think that the girl might be stuck her box!

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- Avant-Garde
  
  9 years ago
  
  It fell apart but she managed to get out in the end.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    Thank God
    
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JDA13realornot

10 years ago

Haha, LMFAO! Just scratch it!!! It'll be fine

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Riddler

10 years ago

I know which troll this is.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  YOU!
  
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  - Riddler
    
    10 years ago
    
    Thats funny troll.
    
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robbieforgotpw

10 years ago

I power dumped my undies full

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  GROSS! STAY AWAY FROM MY DIAMONDS!
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    10 years ago
    
    He's not after your diamonds.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      YES HE IS
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        10 years ago
        
        Naw, now you're just being a silly goose.
        
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        Avant-Garde
        
        10 years ago
        
        Have you seen Mother Goose's goose?
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        I AINT NO DAMN GOOSE!!
        
        YOUR JEALOUS OF MY DIAMONDS YOU LEZBO THATS WHY YOU WANT THEM!
        
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Avant-Garde

10 years ago

Therapy can be a glorious thing.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Yeah cause you need it!
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    10 years ago
    
    I did and I got it. It is most splendid…
    
    Why come and join us?
    
    Join us…. us… us…
    
    You know you can't resist the temptation!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      MY DIAMONDS ARE THE only THERAPY I NEED!
      
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      - Avant-Garde
        
        10 years ago
        
        "What does it lumping mean?" - Lumpy Space Princess
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        10 years ago
        
        IT MEANS YOUR LUMPING FACE!
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  BURN!! CANT COME UP WITH A RESPONSE!
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    10 years ago
    
    I wrote that on the mobile app, where in which it is impossible to reply. I have only just returned via my laptop.
    
    At least, I don't prance around the fires naked…. My ass is not a monster!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      Do you have a good looking ass? I can show you how to twerk!
      
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      - Avant-Garde
        
        10 years ago
        
        Davina has a nice rump.
        
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB-M_tYhLGU
        
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      - Avant-Garde
        
        10 years ago
        
        "What does it lumping mean?"- Lumpy Space Princess
        
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MoonlightButterfly54

10 years ago

Its amazing how many people an a.s.s hole can at attrack perhaps you're right maybe your a.s.s will eat us all

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  ITS AMAZING HOW YOURE HERE TO STEAL MY DIAMONDS LIKE A STANK ASS HOE
  
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Avant-Garde

10 years ago

Jesus used to be friends with a doughnut. It is well documented.

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thehalfgoodgirl

5 years ago

wts

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MasterMc124

9 years ago

Wtf

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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

Don't worry about your ass
Be happy about your gas

*reggae music plays in the back ground*

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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

Does it smell like a farm?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  No but it probably smells better THAN YOU
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    9 years ago
    
    I can assure you that I have never smelt of farm odors. Never. Have you ever taken a walk into nature and smelled it? Inhaled it? Basked in the glory of nature?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Yes and I hate it
      
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

Did you melt it and mix it into mayonnaise? Foul. Absolutely foul.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  YES
  
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

What did you do to my cheese, woman?!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Put it on a burger and ate it
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    9 years ago
    
    Damn you!!!!
    
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

I was just thinking what might happen if you ever saw a proctologist. Poor guy. He/she has probably seen a billion sphincters and colons but, they wouldn't be able to stand a chance against your ass.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  My ass is perfect
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    9 years ago
    
    Yes… A perfect killing machine, that is!
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Killing em when I twerk!
      
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

A whiff of your ass diamonds could replace chloroform.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Be quiet
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    9 years ago
    
    It's true. You know it is. Why deny it?
    
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

Don't fear your ass. Love it and cry in it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Hush
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    9 years ago
    
    You may kiss it. However, you must put your tears somewhere else. The saltiness of your tears my react negatively with the anal fissures caused by your diamond mine.
    
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craigtucker

9 years ago

This is a ruse, isn't it?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  YOUR A RUSE!
  
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Avant-Garde

10 years ago

Do you like feta?

What about goat milk?

How about sheep milk?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I prefer the finest of breastmilks
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    9 years ago
    
    Gaia had big breast I hear. After all, she was mother earth. She just want to nourish you!
    
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    - shuggy-chan
      
      9 years ago
      
      yes, but the titans are long since defeated my dear Avant-garde
      
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      - Avant-Garde
        
        9 years ago
        
        B…b….. but there are still big lofty mountains left in the world. It seems like mother earth had a hell of a lot of breasts.
        
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Bring on the BOOBS AND DIAMONDS!
      
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- MasterOfWaffles
  
  10 years ago
  
  Yes, yes, and yes.
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    10 years ago
    
    You've got good taste.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      His taste is as good as AN OLD PERSON FROM THE 1400s
      
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      - Avant-Garde
        
        9 years ago
        
        tHat would make some mighty fine cheese… Or, better yet, WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        
        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        Hush
        
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    Shut the fuck up no one asked YOU!
    
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    - MasterOfWaffles
      
      9 years ago
      
      Actually they did. It is you who wasn't asked.
      
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        I am not a "They"
        
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MasterOfWaffles

10 years ago

I am STORM GIANT!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  In your dreams!
  
  OH WAIT! Not even IN YOUR DREAMS CAUSE YOURE A LOSER! LOSER!
  
  YOULL NEVER HAVE DIAMONDS LIKE ME SO SIT THE FUCK DOWN!
  
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  - MasterOfWaffles
    
    9 years ago
    
    There you go again, babbling on again about your useless diamonds. The lid will close and you will suffocate, my little bottle.
    
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gummy_jr

10 years ago

Why the hell does this have so many comments?

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- Avant-Garde
  
  10 years ago
  
  You know damn well!
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    Vagina
    
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    - Avant-Garde
      
      9 years ago
      
      A vulva should not have cheese in it. Nor, should it be capable of producing cheese.
      
      *strokes mustache, stubble and adjusts monocle*
      
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    - Avant-Garde
      
      9 years ago
      
      Velveta.
      
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  - gummy_jr
    
    10 years ago
    
    I honestly don't know /:
    
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    - Avant-Garde
      
      10 years ago
      
      Would you like some mayonnaise on your pancakes?
      
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      - MasterOfWaffles
        
        10 years ago
        
        Yes.
        
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        Avant-Garde
        
        10 years ago
        
        With wine or coffee?
        
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Are You Normal?

I'm scared of scratching my a**hole