I need help. my relative passed away and i didn't visit them for years

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I don't want to be too specific because I'm paranoid someone will know it's me.

Anyway my close immediate family relative passed away a week ago and I didn't visit them in 6 years because we fought. They had a temper sometimes and we'd end up yelling at each other. The last time we saw each other they were yelling at me to clean the bathroom and I said I had work to do and they said clean it now so I screamed back you treat me like a slave you're not part of my family! I'm done being your slave and your family! Then I never saw them again and didn't visit them for 6 years.

They passed away suddenly no warning and I never visited them and I feel so guilty. How do I overcome the guilt how do I cope with knowing I could have seen them and I didn't just because of arguments that kept happening

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  • sweetone89
    1 year ago

    Hi, my family has a lot of emotional abuse in it, too.
    I'm sorry for your loss and that you never got to make things right with your relative. You know, you can always go to his/her grave and talk or pray. Say what you need to get out. Or write them a letter.
    But, mostly, forgive yourself. Whatever happened cannot be undone and you suffering with guilt too long will darken your life.
    Think of one day you meeting this relative in Heaven and you both are just happy and hug each other. Here is a saying from Rumi, and it has helped me a lot: "Out beyond ideas of right and wrong, there is a garden. I will meet you there."
    I wish I could offer you a hug, it sounds like youcould use one right now.

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