I randomly miss my ex, even though breakup was years ago. is this normal?

90% Normal
8 Comments

I had a breakup Fall of 2020. I was so in love with him, but it was a bit of a tumultuous relationship. He's been dating someone new for almost a year now, and I haven't found anyone else. I do try to live my life, I've found a new job etc., but sometimes I randomly get pangs of sadness. I still live in same city as him.

Is this normal? And how can I get over it. I truly try hobbies and going out every day, but I still think of him very often. Like when I go out to a club or something, I can only think of him & his face. My friends are having a good time & I'm sad.

Voting Results
90% Normal
Based on 10 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • bbrown95
    1 year ago

    I think once enough time has passed, these kinds of feelings tend to emerge. It's just enough time to start viewing it through rose-colored glasses. I think that after enough time has passed, even some pretty shitty times in our lives start to seem better than they really were, as our minds tend to remember the positive and set aside much of the bad (a.k.a. nostalgia).

    My last relationship was pretty miserable, but I caught myself missing some of the things we used to do together, and his family, after awhile. Luckily, those feelings went away after awhile and while I still have fond memories, I no longer really miss it, much less want it back.

    If you're feeling lonely, I think that will only exacerbate these feelings. I know it's hard, but just try to preoccupy and distract yourself, and spend time with others who make you feel good about yourself.

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  • DADNSCAL
    1 year ago

    You never completely break up. If a person meant so much to you, you’ll continue to have some feelings for them forever. You just have to deal with them by moving on with your life. Find someone new. He’s out there.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      1 year ago

      Thank you ♥ I appreciate this
      It's hard to think the other person won't think of you again, but this is a great answer. will try to keep moving on, thanks

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      • DADNSCAL
        1 year ago

        YW. Oh don’t be so sure he isn’t thinking of you. Men have feelings too, but they don’t show them because they want to be macho. I still have dreams of my first g/f and that was over 45 yrs ago.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          1 year ago

          Wow, that's amazing! I really agree with this haha. I wish they could show it too. Thanks for this. It made me smile😊

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  • kikilizzo
    1 year ago

    Sounds like you're feeling lonely so you're thinking about the last guy you were involved with and probably romanticizing him. Doubt that you're actually in love again after that long of a breakup.

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  • RoseIsabella
    1 year ago

    I still have dreams about my first love from over 30 years ago.

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  • GaelicPotato
    1 year ago

    Yep.

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