I rarely laugh

I am just not impressed by people or the things they do, in daily life, I mean. I can see right through their intentions or motives.

There is no fun when you can catch on to patterns very quickly and decipher them in your head, not leaving any room to "ahhh" and wonder, or to laugh

In other words, I find that the more intelligent I become, the less humor I find in things. And the less humor, the more I become unhappy. I feel robotic in terms of lacking these social emotions. I rarely smile (genuinenly, that is, the "formal" smile is commanded for social pressure/reasons) and I rarely laugh.

I am a girl, so people heavily criticize me for my callous, serious countenance, as girls are supposed to be "amiable, gregarious, with a pleasant smile at all times" as such is the flock of girls who i work with. I get told "But you are too pretty to look so serious" but that further depresses me, to try to "force" me into something Im not. Why cant people accept me for the serious analytical person that i am? I mean no harm

I show no enthusiasm for many things, because, like ive said, Ive already made sense for them in my head

Anyone else relate or should I alter my ways of thinking?

IIN??

Thanks

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Based on 179 votes (131 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • dirtybirdy

    I don't have that problem, not that its really a problem. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an idiot. I have things worked out in my little bird brain too, but I love to laugh. I need to. If I didn't find humor in all the stupid little things, i'd kill people. I don't need others to make me laugh either. I can amuse myself like nobody's business. I'm not the happiest person by any means. I'm actually quite miserable more often than I like to admit to myself. I guess that's part of the reason I need humor so much, especially at this point in my life. Hmm I think that's as deep as i'd like to dig on this here matter.

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  • Maykittens

    I always look for humor in my daily life. I like to think of the horrible things that are forever happening to me as a source of irony in my life, instead of hate.
    I'm also intelligent and have gone to great universities for a long time now. I never laugh at T.V shows and I'm horrible at comedy clubs because I just don't find the sad attempt at things they call "jokes" to amuse me.

    Life would be rather unhappy with out any time to laugh, even if it has to be at ourselves. I like serious literature and dramas better than comedies. Because of this I find most of my laughter comes from Irony and life's oddness rather than real "jokes"

    Just look for happiness in the tiniest places, and open up to the world. The world would be a horrible place with out any laughter.

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  • kelili

    Hahaha!

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  • AlwaysLateToTheParty

    Same

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  • Jowl

    I'm going trough the same thing. I understand the humor in things but never laugh at it. Our situations may not be the same, but from my experience i've noticed that i follow what my head says alot. I love learning new things, so much that it's almost like some kind of addiction. The problem with this is that your head doesn't have a personality. Your heart has learned itself to first hear what the head says before it makes any sort of choice, including going through all the positives and most of all negatives from every choice. This may cause you to get stuck.

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    • Kevinevan

      Dude, this post is 5 years old. Where are you finding these and why are you making it relevent again.

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  • IceEye22

    Are you kidding?? Everytime unlearn something new I'm super happy!! Knowledge makes me excited! Not being impressed is a bit arrogant don't you think?? Everytime someone SPEAKS to me I'm excited! Because such a complex intelligent being formulated the words! And the more you learn the more you should think. Wow hat a wonderful universe!

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    • IceEye22

      Everytime I learn* oops

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  • najibov

    There are two sides of this issue:
    - Medical: Emotions are reactions induced by the secretion of specific chemicals in your body. Lack or disproportion of those chemicals might lead the person to be "out of the norm", which is resulting in lack of laugh in your case.
    - Psychological: "I find that the more intelligent I become, the less humor I find in things." How do you define intelligent? Why do you think you are intelligent?
    "Why cant people accept me for the serious analytical person that i am?". It seems like you might have a feeling of superiority towards the people around you. You feel they are too low and predictable to you. witty humor and engaging individuals catch your attention better. You might also want attention by indirectly guiding people to comment on your behavior continuously.
    Except for scientific facts and mathematical reasoning, there is nothing you can possibly "make sense of in your head", so enjoy the show called LIFE. Try to relate to people, if you can't engage with them in their laugher, switch to their sorrow, they might need the help from a "smart person". Give advice, tutor,..etc
    IIN? HELL YES
    LIFE IS TOO BIG AND FULL. You can easily apply to it a Quantum Physics Principle that states:
    " Anything that can happen, Will happen"
    ..and here is my smile or even laugh :):)

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  • disthing

    Probably 50% or more of my laughter in social situations is pandering; it's not so much that I've genuinely had my funny bone tickled (ooh la la) but more that to NOT laugh would be socially awkward.

    I also find I rarely laugh in private when watching comedy, even if I do find it 'funny'. It might entertain me and I might smile, but that amusement isn't typically expressed with laughter.

    So based on that, I'd say it's normal - at least I can certainly relate. But social etiquette and the general maxims of conversation often insist upon you feigning laughter and enthusiasm at some point. For example, if a person you've just met tells you a joke with the clear expectation you'll be amused, it's polite to laugh a little. Keep in mind somebody at some point has probably politely laughed at one of your jokes, despite not genuinely finding it amusing.

    The same applies to enthusiasm - it's polite if somebody is sharing a story with you that they are enthusiastic and excited about, you express some modicum of exuberance, even if it's playing a role. As I say, it's social etiquette, which can be a chore at times, but can also open the doors of opportunity.

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  • "A man laughing is like a dog barking, the noise is there"

    - Tommy the cat, MD.

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  • howaminotmyself

    I am not easily impressed. And I laugh at the vain attempts people make to impress others. It's rather pathetic, and I do find it amusing. Especially when they don't see their doing. I am easily amused and smile often but that's me. I find my smile can be contagious, and it's a simple thing to do. And just because I am amused, does not mean I am impressed. Nor does it mean I am not intelligent. But I am not here to debate my intelligence.

    But don't look to other people to impress you or amuse you. Do it to yourself.

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  • NeuroNeptunian

    It is fairly normal. For some people it is their personality.

    I have a lot of friends like you who don't take much amusement from your typical daily things. Me, I am just the opposite. I smile and laugh very easily and I am amused and entertained by many things. Just about anything can make me light up like a Christmas tree, I am smiling right now thinking about doughnuts. Yes, doughnuts. Even my own thoughts are enough to make me smile.

    However, I don't consider myself to be unintelligent. I am just very easy to charm and delight. You may be just the opposite, it happens. Many of my friends look at me like I am stupid but I consider it to be a gift that just about anything could make me giddy.

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  • I'm not convinced it has anything to do with intellect, but I'm much the same.

    Very rarely do I find myself laughing or smiling. It's all overdone and predictable. Well, people still make me smile. Sometimes.

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    • i didnt elaborate on intellect, but I have found that, when Im working out a math problem (say, polynomial or exponential functions), I am extremely happy

      more on this if needed.

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      • Kevinevan

        Well that's just stupid and pretentious. Liking math doesn't mean you are intelligent, it means you enjoy math. Math, being a construct of humans, isn't inherently difficult, it's just following rules.

        I don't smile or laugh much, but it's because of idiots like you, who place themselves above the frey.

        Go to a construction site and chat with the workers. They should have you laughing in no time.

        ***jusy noticed this is 5 years old. Dammit people, stop pulling relics out of the graveyard.

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  • dappled

    I can relate, although I think by doing so I'm showing a negative side of my character. I do try to be inclusive and to enjoy people for who they are. Sometimes I see people delighted by things that seem so banal, it makes me wonder what's going on in the mind of the person so delighted. Other times, I don't really feel like part of the human race. I feel like something separate, someone who doesn't belong with everyone else, and I find it difficult to appreciate human things.

    When I thought of things that make me genuinely happy, my first thought was standing outside a pub when a builder pulled up in his van. He had an Italian water dog. First off, I love the idea that he takes his dog to work, like she's a friend or companion. She leapt out of the van, looked up at me, and then just leant heavily against my legs while I stroked her. It was sheer trust. Completely uncomplicated. Natural. Simple. And it made me really happy. The sad bit is that this happened four years ago and this was my first thought about happiness.

    I don't tend to smile or laugh a lot. My family often commented that I was the boy who never smiled. It's not that I'm always serious; I'm not. It's just like you. I've worked it out in my head. I see jokes coming a mile off and I'm always polite and never interrupt even though it's painful.

    IIN is one of the places where I do enjoy myself, though. There are some funny people here; people like us, I think. This site has often made me laugh out loud. It's a big compliment to the users.

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    • howaminotmyself

      Oddly, this site makes me feel humorless. Most of what makes other "lol" makes me cringe.

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      • dappled

        Ahh, I know. We're a mixed bag and not all of it is to my taste but, even just a few hours ago, DannyKanes came out with a corker!

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        • howaminotmyself

          A mixed bag of what?

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    • Doesnt it seem like you ( i am including myself here also) are not really "living" this life but rather just observing it from a distance? Ive often asked myself if this is really the way to live life. It is this questioning that often depresses me. Like you've said, you feel like something separate...who doesn't belong with everyone else. But the keyword is observing. Your first paragraph inputs more concisely, and that incident years ago was very vivid; just reading about it was warming:)

      When I was younger, family meetings were almost painful. My family labeled me as the "girl who never smiles" and my mom would juxtapose me and my sister, who was the complete opposite of me: loud, vociferous, giggly..etc I would have this internal thought, however serious on the outside

      To this day me and my sister do not have a relationship, alot due to our differences. But I was always willing to accept her as she was, she on the other hand, completely shunned me.

      A genuine thank you:) for your input. I now know that there is someone out there in the world, even if we communicate via internet, who has had the same experiences.

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      • dappled

        Yes, exactly. Although I look like part of the social whirl and I am genuinely friendly and people like being around me, it's rare that I'm immersed in the moment. I think most people often are. I watch them and they're living life, not thinking about the life that is unfolding in front of them.

        I know people have sometimes said it was difficult to be around me because of the amount of thinking I do but these are people who only notice because they know me very well. I don't have natural human reactions to things; I have considered reactions. I spot patterns and I know people and situations in ways other than it being familiar because I feel it too. It's not that I feel it; it's that I've previously observed it.

        It used to bother me, I think, but I came to terms with it. People are different. I'm different. It makes life harder at times and it sometimes makes me feel isolated. But I do such a good impression of being a normal person that, to most people, I am just a normal person. Not many people know what's going on inside.

        Hang in there, yeah? If it helps, there are many situations where people specifically want to be around me rather than others because I'm a calming influence and I don't impose myself. We make the best of what we're given.

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