I really really don't know who i am...is this normal?

56% Normal
12 Comments

Okay, I won't lie I have a history of my own issues, which isn't specifically relevant to this question, but I mention it because it is worth for you guys to know I didn't necessarily develop normally. I am not mentally or physically handicapped or anything like that, but I am 25 years old and recently went through some changes that caused me to really look at myself and I realized - I don't know what I like. I don't know anything about myself. I don't know what I like to do, what my interests are or what I want to do with my life. At all. I got a bachelors degree, and now I just don't seem to want to do the things that are associated with that degree. I have looked into going back to school for a masters in my only for sure topic of interests: Serial Killer/Organized crime. I will be going for Criminology, but that interest...that interest is really my work. So far that's completely it. I live to work, and nothing interests me if I can't work with it or make money from it some how. I feel empty, and this is so deep an issue that honestly I can go to a grocery store and I can't decide what to get. I could go hungry, and have. I have fainted with 300 dollars in my pocket. What is going on guys, I feel paralyzed...but since I just lost my job and home, and was even wrongfully arrested, is it maybe related to that? Is this normal given the circumstances and past history? Any ideas to how I might branch out and get to know myself?

love always,

Dahlia-

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 32 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • CoraCook
    9 years ago

    Dear Dahlia, if you could elaborate on "but since I just lost my job and home, and was even wrongfully arrested" maybe we could say something, the rest is just a normal part of growing up.

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    • thevioletdahlia
      9 years ago

      sorry please let me elaborate and thank you for taking the time to ask more questions: I had a job I loved and I am in a tumultuous relationship (I am currently gone temporarily to try and figure out what to do), and after an argument the other person called me an ambulance although I asked them not to. Well they ended up arresting me because I yelled at them to leave my house (offered to speak with them outside) because they weren't invited in and there was no emergency - the paramedics confirmed that. Well, my job had a strict attendance policy and they arrested me out of spite - the charges are already dropped but I still lost my job and we were still evicted for causing a disturbance obviously. The other person says I have no right to be mad, and can't see how the nonsense lead to our predicament. I am so unhappy in my situation that not only do I realize I don't know what makes me happy, I don't know what i want or don't want. Like I said I'm just stuck in neutral. I didn't know any more than I do now when I did have my home and job, but I seem to have even less direction now. Does that help? For someone who has a degree in English I seem to have more trouble conveying my thoughts than I do anything else - thanks again - dahlia-

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      • CoraCook
        9 years ago

        Well, Dahlia, first off, sometimes losing everything will allow you to build everything from scratch. First thing I'd do is forget about that person and relationship with them, it sounds unhealthy and seems to throw you off balance. Second, I'd try and find a new job, whatever job, ANY job that will pay bills for any housing you find. Then, take a deep breath and think about what you want, while at least supporting yourself. From the sounds of it you are in no position to think about what you want. Get your basic needs met (home + food) and only then question your choices, past and future. One step at a time!

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        • thevioletdahlia
          9 years ago

          I also worry about my child. I am in no position to take her, what you are saying makes absolute sense, I should have known that all along. I'm sure a normal person would have. I have a place to stay in the mean time...but its 1700 miles away from my baby if I choose to not go back and endure the abuse with him...what should I do in your opinion?

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  • DumBelle
    9 years ago

    It's normal when you are depressed and at a crossroads in your life. Indesivice behavior is often the result of depression, I used to do this; being in the grocery store, although hungry and intending to buy groceries for the week, I'd end up just grabbing one or two things and leaving, frustrated (after aimlessly looking for an hour) This type of behavior was during the "winter" of my life. I also lost passion for simple things, that used to make me happy, be it music or hobbies.

    What you're going through, sounds pretty rough and as if happening all at once, it's unavoidable, you are going to be preoccupied with what's going on. Even if mental anguish is evident, the extreme toll it takes with such loss can cause you to subconsciously lose passion and remain numb/depressed. You lose sight of what you would enjoy, if you were happy and in a good place in your life. 25 is often a tough age, mentally. It's generally the age we are finding out what we "want" to do with our lives; career choices, relationships and any other choices and decisions that define us or lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with you, specifically. It's often more stressful if you feel or see it as everyone else has it "figured out" and you are left wondering what will become of you.

    As far as ideas, you may need change or a plan, that's feasible. Solutions that are attainable to you. What is the main thing that keeps you in neutral?

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    • thevioletdahlia
      9 years ago

      my baby girl keeps me pretty grounded. Thank you guys for all your advice, I have more direction now than I did. I was originally scared to post, but you guys helped me find peace in this turmoil, at least now i'm not wandering around sobbing. You'll never know how much it means to me - dahlia.

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  • ssj4gotenks
    9 years ago

    When someone loses his job and home it means he has little certainties in life. It's more difficult to attach to something like a hobby when you have more pressing matters at hand.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    9 years ago

    dont argue with fuckin idiots. walk away next time

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    • thevioletdahlia
      9 years ago

      as in don't argue with my childs father or from the other situation? I certainly wish I had walked away. I am taking all advice seriously, I really don't know how to remedy the whole situation, so I really do want to know what you mean specifically. any one would know better than i.

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      • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
        9 years ago

        yalls trouble came and went that time, now pick up the pieces

        yall can avoid the next big ole fracas if yall just walk away and or remain calm

        by the way, how does one git arrested by ambulance attendants?

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  • thevioletdahlia
    9 years ago

    If this helps - If i could compare how I am feeling to a character in a movie it would be Tommy from Tommy Boy as played by Chris Farley - specifically how he feels in this quote: "Forget it, I quit, I can't do this anymore, man. My head's about to explode. My whole life sucks! I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going. My dad just died, we just killed Bambi, I'm out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel into a Goddamn bridge abutment!" - Tommy

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    • CoraCook
      9 years ago

      Take a deep breath. There's a solution to everything but death.

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