I spend all my time on online dating services

i actually started a relationship that way..

you're interested in guys and what they could possibly say to you, but you're afraid to do it in real life because you have no confidence due to you being over weight.

Work out and it will change.

Yeah, I do this too. I think it's "normal", but not a very productive use of time. I've wondered why I do this ... when I could be doing something else more productive. I think part of it is seeing how other people are in comparison to myself ... I'm obviously an outlier, so sites like OkCupid let you look at how you compare to other people. I never really talk to people ... that'd be weird :)

By the deal, some people don't have a problem with being "overweight". You know if you were being honest with yourself that weight really isn't the issue, it's just an excuse. You have to ask yourself that if you lost the weight, would it make a difference? Or would there be some other thing for you to find fault with in yourself?

thank you thundercat for taking the time to write down this solid and sound advice.
i appreciate it!

It shows that you are a normal woman with normal desires and normal wants and impulses, and that you react as normally would react many people in a situation as is being highly overweight.
But please take in account always that 'normality' is not at all a synonyme of goodness, healthy, vituous or positive.
Don't feel bad about what you are doing right now, but, do try to change your present situation. It is apparently not easy, but if done properly and with the proper outlook and method, it is so much easier and lighter and less exacting as normally is made believe. First thing is to understand three things: one, there is not a healthy, safe and cheap method of losing weight quickly; it has to be a long term patient and persistent way of life; the adequate and accessible and sustainable loss of weight is in the order of half a pound to a pound weekly till one is down to about 20%% over the adequate weight, then the loss can increase even to the double.
Two, it is a progressive process, the more one goes into it, the more one can work and obtain more results (for example, after about three to four months of a basic regime, it can begin weekly regimes, three to four times a year, that just by a particular dieting, will make loss from 7 to 15 pounds of fat, not water, in a week). Three, the whole process can be a pleasant and enjoyable one, just by changing eating habits and changing foods; definitely it is possible, and is the way to do it, to eat tasty and not be hungry and anguished either. Eating proper things in the proper ways and exercising moderately but persistently, will do, not the trick, because there's no trick in it, but the work.
Cheers.

do they work? which ones?

It is normal but remember alot of people lie in those profiles don't be one of them! just be honest and show people who you are it is nothing to be ashamed of that your a big person (or atleast say you are!).

If men don't like you then they won't send you messages. If you are happy the way you are then screw what people think.

Why let the way you look determine how you live your life. If every one done this then every one would be locked in their houses peeking through the small gap in the window.

If your not happy with how much you weigh then just eat healthier and do a little walking that way it will make you feel better about your self and you may even feel more energetic.